hey there everybody I'm your host Dr Donna Le Snipes and today we're going to talk about how
cognitive distortions actually contribute to violence cognitive distortions are errors in
our thinking that make us feel like we are more powerful or less powerful than we really are
it's important to examine how certain cognitive distortions can make us feel like we are unsafe
and when we're unsafe what happens we go into fight or flee which contributes to acting out
it contributes to more impulsivity in people which can if left to Fester can result in
verbal aggression or even unfortunately physical aggression so let's just look at
some examples of those cognitive distortions personal ization if somebody does something
and you assume they were doing it because they were trying to insult you they were trying to
reject you or they were being uh intentionally unkind to you then yeah that may prompt you to
feel threatened to feel defensive I get that personalization is often incorrect so it's
important to look and say what are three other explanations for why this person may
have done it besides my belief that they were trying to be aggressive or threatening toward
me all or nothing thinking is another one of those cognitive distortions that can contribute to fear
and it can really amplify fear if you think that every person that is like like this is a threat
to me or nobody out there is ever safe or nobody out there can be trusted then yeah you're going
to feel stressed and unsafe and disempowered most of the time which is going to trigger that fight
ORF flight reaction it's important to step back if you are using All or Nothing type terms and
ask yourself what are some exceptions what are some exceptions to people like this who are safe
who are kind who are compassionate what are exceptions to people being untrustworthy do
I know anybody in my life who is trustworthy and chances are you probably know one or two people
um the availability her istic this is another one that when there is something that is emotionally
Salient is what they call it but emotionally impactful it makes it more prominent in our
mind so if somebody does something to you that is unpleasant or nasty or somebody does something to
somebody else that's unpleasant or nasty and you know about it even if that person normally is a
very nice person you may start seeing them as threatening because what they did was so awful
and it's important to step back one of the things we often talk about in leadership meetings when we
do annual evaluations with people it's important not to be tricked by this availability heuristic
the things that somebody's done over the past year that were you know really big mistakes they made
and focus only on that we need to step back and look at the whole picture what have they done over
the whole year not just those two or three big mistakes that they made M so going back to people
we need to step back and not overgeneralize and assume that people of a certain you know certain
types of people are going to be this way and that that includes like children where you're assuming
that all children are going to be completely Rowdy and rambunctious well that may not be true
ultimately we need to keep coming back to what are the facts in the current context for and against
the belief that I am unsafe and I am powerless and a lot of the times we're going to find out
that it's not true now unfortunately social media can really tend to amplify cognitive distortions
by presenting information that's grouped so it does feel like this may be everpresent everth
threatening overwhelming it is important to evaluate well evaluate social media um whoever
you're following for its accuracy and its accuracy in context what's going on overseas is horrible
it's awful it's threatening and if you lived there you would be terrified and you know that's not a
cognitive distortion however where you live in your corner of the world what are facts for and
against your belief that you are unsafe and if you feel unsafe how can you address it without
violence how can you address it so you feel safe and empowered without being aggressive and causing
someone else to feel unsafe and like likely lash out back there are a lot of other Cog oh mind
reading one more um mind reading and jumping to conclusions kind of go hand in hand when
you assume you know what somebody's thinking then you're likely going to set yourself up for making
a lot of inaccurate assumptions mind reading is when you assume that because somebody is of this
religion or of this political affiliation or of this whatever because they have that affiliation
they are going to think this way they are going to do this thing and that completely ignores the
individual's ability to think and choose on their own so it's important not to overgeneralize it's
a important not to assume that you know what somebody's going to do or jump to conclusions
if somebody comes in the in the office and they're just in a God awful mood and you assume that they
are angry with you and they are a threat to you in some way you're going to react a lot
differently than if you notice in the moment hey this person is really wound up and anger is one
of those responses to feeling unsafe and Powerless okay so this person feels unsafe and Powerless I
don't know what about but it doesn't necessarily personalization have to do with me so instead of
assuming I know what this person wants needs or is going to do it's important for me to step back and
say what information do I have in context and when I don't have all the information it's important
for me to actually get it ask do the research in order to make an informed decision so as I
started to say there are a lot of other cognitive distortions but what I want to point out to you in
this video is the fact that cognitive distortions often you think you are being more powerful but
a lot of times they make you feel unsafe and Powerless in your environment always go back
to what are the facts for and against my belief in context and if there is a threat what steps can I
take in order to feel safer and more empowered without infringing on anyone else's boundaries