[Achievement Hunter intro]
[Rage Quit intro]
Hold on to your dicks cuz on this week of rage quit we're playing Shovel Knight,
you'll get dick dug, real good.
Now Shovel Knight is somewhat difficult already,
it's kind of an 8-bit, Mega Man style platformer.
Um, but when you beat the game
there's a new game plus setting, which is apparently more difficult.
I haven't done this yet,
so I guess I'll try it here and we'll see if a video comes out of it,
if not, I've wasted my time... again.
This is the story, this is a good story.
So, Shovel Knight and Shield Knight, they used to fight crime,
and bang the shit out of each other.
That's act one.
Oh, but she's fucking dead, that's act one.
Rocking this sweet magenta color armor,
it's the only way to go.
More magic that way,
but more importantly, more stylish.
Look, the bubble, bounce on the bubble, that's how you get up there.
This is going to be a fucking strategy guide.
This isn't even Rage Quit,
how do you beat the tutorial level of Shovel Knight...on new game plus! Well, this is how kids.
Why am I even going this way?
I already got the note.
I want the fucking money,
give me the money!
Oh, more money in the fucking ceiling?
Money!
{Impatient Michael}
I don't fucking care Black Knight,
I don't care.
Also, I'm called Shovel Knight, and he's Black Knight,
but the guy is using a fucking shovel too!
So what the fuck is the difference?
He's, he's more Black Shovel Knight, not really Black Knight,
or he should be like Spade Knight or David Spade Knight,
but not Black Knight, doesn't make any fucking sense!
Also, he got his fucking ass kicked,
come here you little bitch!
Piece of shit.
I shake my shovel at you, you fuck.
Oh, he's fine, no never-mind.
Look at his little shovel arm,
I mean it's a regular arm, but it's named Shovel Knight,
so I wanted to call it a shovel arm.
The other thing that's weird is she's huge!
Shield Knight is like 3 times the size of Shovel Knight,
it's just weird when they stand next to each other.
Why such a tiny guy?
What are you, what are you trying to compensate for with that shovel, Shovel Knight?
Yeah, we know.
I just fucking blew up level 1, so suck on that.
I gotta go to the village, what the fuck?
Look, I'm in the the village.
Okay, can I go up now?
God damn right I can!
Give me the goods.
Give me the... goods,
no, don't give me AIDS.
Jesus Christ.
Alright, so clearly I'm too good for this game,
even on new game plus.
So I'm going to go for a feat that's been pissing me off.
It's basically like an achievement.
There's "finish any stage without taking damage",
and then, even more of a pain in the ass, "emerge unscathed from a battle with any knight of the order of no quarter",
which is a boss.
So you have to beat an entire level and beat the boss,
without getting hit.
That fucking sucks,
I've almost done that 5 times on this level,
but I haven't quite done it yet...YET.
{Michael humming}
Breaking your shit, oh shit!
I almost got hit by like the second enemy.
The fuck are you doing? Holy shit!
My fucking helmet got singed,
and I ain't talking about the one on my head,
{whispers} my penis.
Fuck you rat.
Get up there.
Dude! Get out of the way! Jesus Christ!
Okay, now these guys, they can be a pain in the ass to fight,
they take a bunch of hits.
So if you're trying not to get hit, just uh- fuck you!
I'm too good for this,
I don't know, there's nothing to show.
I haven't gotten hit yet,
OH GOD, JESUS!
So on new game plus, they replace a lot of the food locations,
it seems, with bombs.
They just put bombs there.
Oh these things fucking suck dick,
you just wanna go right over this fucking thing,
yeah, go fuck yourself.
Watch this, ready?
They gonna fucking kill they selves.
You fools!
So, most likely spot to fuck it up, besides the boss,
would definitely be here.
Uh, these books disappear, in a matter of time.
You have to bounce on this thing, and then just haul ass across.
But there's shit, there's lava and shit.
Oh, go go go go go go wait! Go!
Look at that, it just doesn't even seem hard.
It's... OH GOD!
Alright, so I can get hit by this prick once,
GET AWAY PRICK!
FUCK!
DUDE!, FUCK OFF!
OH GOD NO!
No no no no no.
Just keep bouncing on his head, oh my God.
This is pretty much the easiest boss, I think,
without looking it up and finding out online,
who is the easiest boss.
Cuz he just kind of jumps around like an asshole.
Watch out for the fucking "deadly confetti" though,
cuz that will kick your ass.
Just sit still, just sit still.
You're almost dead, 4 more hits, holy shit.
Holy shit!
OH GOD, GET HIM, IDIOT!
COME HERE!
NO! YOU FUCKING MORON!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
Now I have to do the whole fucking level over again.
Oh great, I got some other fucking stupid feat,
I don't give a shit!
It was probably "no food".
YOU FUCK!
This is...(sigh)
{whispers} You mother fucker.
You fucking smug prick.
You go over the thing, you kill the bug,
you go down the fucking thing, this, over the horse.
Kill the horse, avoid the lava- MOTHER FUCKER!
GET DIGGING!
I hope you are not seeing this part, because if you are seeing this part that means I'm going to get hit soon.
Why else would I cut to this if I didn't get hit.
DID I GET HIT YET?!?!
Oh shit, Jesus Christ, I thought I was going to eat rat right there.
Fuck you, just fuck you, I keep forgetting.
(sigh)... It's just such a fucking waste of time,
I think it probably takes 5 minutes?, 6 minutes?,
to get through the level. I don't know.
But it's just go through the whole level,
so you can get hit one time and fuck yourself,
and you gotta go through it all over again.
IT'S FUCKING HORSE SHIT!
Bring it on you fucking cunt, you cunt, you cunty fuck!
Oh, just keep spamming the invincibility.
Oh did that not- OH GOD MOVE!!!
JESUS!
Oh, it stunned me, it didn't hurt me, but it stunned me.
Oh ho ho, shit shit shit!
Holy shit! MOTHER FUCKING CONFETTI!!!
GOD DAMMIT!
FUCKER!
Who the fuck uses confetti as an attack?!?!
Right? Who does that?!
A fucking king?! THAT DOESN'T SEEM APPROPRIATE AT ALL!
Great, I'll go for a bomb, that's what I'm gonna risk my life for? A bomb?
2 fucking bombs, fantastic. Double my pleasure
Alright, last fucking try. Let's fight this jerk off, again.
Oh, wow, holy shit, holy shit.
Just, just fucking die. Just die.
Stay over there, stay on your side!
Dammit!
Watch the deadly confetti! It'll get ya!
Oh crap! Oh shit!
Oh you're fucked, YOU'RE FUCKED YOU BITCH, YOU FUCKING FAT BITCH!
SUCK MY FUCKING DICK! SUCK MY FUCKING DICK!
SUCK MY FUCKING WIENER!!!
[Outro music]