Spotting a sociopath just by looking at their behavior is a very useful skill that can save
you a lot of frustration.
And in this video I'm going to show you 3 traits that you can spot so you can confirm
if you're dealing with these kind of jerks.
Welcome back, my body language buddies!
my name is Jesús Enrique Rosas, I'm the Body Language Guy, and it would be great if you
join us by just liking this video, subscribing and hitting that bell! let's get down to it!
Just a quick reminder that Sociopaths and Psychopaths are different.
Psychopaths are born, Sociopaths are made.
This is important because even if they have similar characteristics, the traits that you're
about to see apply especifically for sociopaths.
And since sociopaths are more common than psychopaths, in a 4 to 1 ratio, then it makes
sense to focus on them first.
The most relevant trait of a sociopath is the lack of empathy.
The question is, how can you spot that lack of empathy in their behavior?
This is where body language enters the scene in the form of spotting reactions.
You want to be aware of reactions that go against normal empathy towards other human
beings.
For example, you're walking down a busy street, everyone minding their own business, and all
of a sudden, right in front of you, an old lady steps on a banana peel, and just slips
in the most cartoonish way possible, slamming into the sidewalk.
Now, it's important to understand that our emotional reactions work in two stages.
The first one is the automatic, split second reaction, which is the true emotion, so to
speak.
Let's call it reaction A. And then, when we have rationally assessed what really happened,
we have an emotional adjustment.
Let's call that, reaction B.
Now, as soon as the woman slips and falls to the ground, YOUR facial expression in reaction
A, if you're NOT a sociopath, is going to be a mix between surprise and terror.
Because you did not expect that to happen, and are instantly worried that the woman could
have broken her hip or something.
And that's exactly what's going to happen with the facial expression of any sane person
nearby.
That instant, reaction A, would be a mix between surprise and terror.
Now, both the brain of the woman that had the accident, and our brains, make a
rational assessment of what just happened.
This can take a couple seconds, at most.
That's when reaction B kicks in, and this could be a totally different emotion from
reaction A. Most probably would be relief, or in some cases, even laughter.
For example, the woman and everyone else notices that she's fine, and maybe she bursts out
in laughter herself.
That is a normal reaction, AFTER you believe, rationally, that everything's OK.
Now, sociopaths react in the exact opposite way.
As soon as the woman slips and falls, the first reaction of a sociopath, reaction A,
is to be mocking or even joyful, for how amused they are by the accident.
That could be a smirk, a sudden smile, or even a burst of laughter.
And this is important.
This facial expression is going to be just for a split second.
The sociopath is then going to proceed to reaction B.
In this case, 'adjust' their face accordingly to what's expected of them, or maybe cover
their mouth so people cannot see that they let out a burst of laugh.
That's why it's so important to pick up the first, automatic reaction of the person.
The first emotion they show.
If it's any kind of joy, or mocking the other person's misfortune, then that's a sociopathic
behavior.
And this also applies if the victim is an animal.
This doesn't have to be a spectacular accident.
Let's imagine that you have two friends.
Andrew and Bryan.
But they don't like each other much.
And you just found out that Bryan is getting divorced.
You comment that to Andrew, and notice that the first, reaction A to your words is a very
subtle smirk, right before saying, "Well, I heard that he was struggling with his marriage".
What really counts is the first reaction.
The smirk.
The contempt smile.
The emotion that goes against feeling empathy for the other person's misfortune.
And speaking of going against what's a normal reaction, that brings us to the second trait
of a sociopath.
They are always looking to break the rules, even if there is absolutely nothing that they
can get from it.
Just to be clear, I think no person in this planet can live their lives obeying absolutely
every single rule imposed by society, or by traditions, or sometimes even common sense.
Because I'm sure you have been through a handful of moments in your life in which it would
have been irresponsible, harmful or even just plain stupid to just follow the established
rules.
But one thing is making a cost-benefit analysis to reach the conclusion that obeying certain
rules is a bad idea, and another, very different one is always complaining about every single
rule you stumble upon, and try to break it in some way.
Sociopathic behavior in this case, aims NOT for self preservation, or to gain something,
or help other people.
The sociopath seeks to break the rules just for the sake that they exist.
No matter if there is nothing to gain for them.
Even if there's a lot for them to lose.
Now, this behavior has many possibilites.
For example, someone that steals from a shop an item that they don't need, or even like,
and just dump it in the trash as soon as they get out, or someone that drives recklessly,
or someone that destroys public property.
What you're looking for, is that they are breaking certain norms, sometimes even putting
themselves and others in danger, but there is absolutely nothing for them to get from
those actions.
This is something that goes against any common sense and any logic.
So if you find yourself having trouble justifying someone's actions, just review those actions
in your mind and try to figure out what do they get from it.
If they don't get anything or worse yet, they risk losing a lot, then it's an evident sociopathic
behavior.
Again, I use very notorious and even obvious examples just to illustrate my point.
But Sociopathic behavior can be very subtle so it really depends on your ability to stop
and think about how others are behaving.
And the third trait to spot sociopaths, is a combination of the first two.
Let's imagine that you go to a coffee shop with your friend Andrew.
And once you're there, Andrew tells you that he only has money for a pretzel.
And you know he loves pretzels.
But then, the door opens and Bryan, your other friend that doesn't get along that much with
Andrew, enters the coffee shop.
You're about to order, and Andrew, instead of a pretzel, now wants a glazed donut.
You think to yourself, well... alright, then.
You sit down at one of the tables with Andrew, and you ask him.
Hey, didn't you want a pretzel?
And he says.
"Yes".
And why did you buy a glazed donut?
I didn't know you liked them?
No, in fact...
I hate glazed donuts.
I just bought it because I know that it's Bryan's favorite snack, and I noticed that
there was only one left.
I just wanted to mess with him a bit.
Again, the example in this case is a bit childish, but I wanted to illustrate the principle behind
the third trait of sociopaths.
If they have the time, energy or resources to act upon something that benefits them,
but at the same time they have the option of harming or causing damages to someone that
they despise, or in some cases even a stranger that pissed them off in any way,
they will prefer to use that time, energy and resources to harm the other person.
Even if they don't have anything to gain from that.
I know, it sounds crazy.
It is not logical at all.
But if sociopathic behavior was logical, it would be much easier to spot.
These people have a huge grudge with society and everyone in general.
That's why their first reactions to others' misfortune is mocking or joy.
That's why they break the rules just for the sake of breaking them, and that's why they
prefer to watch other people fail than work on their own success.
All these are traits that can be observed directly, with the naked eye.
I've made examples easy to understand, but real life sociopathic behavior, most probably,
is going to be much more subtle than this.
What is important is that you don't discard a behavior that fits any of these descriptions
because it looks like no big deal at the time.
Because if those 'no big deal' behaviors repeat frequently, then you might be dealing with
a sociopath.
So make sure you practice trying to spot these clues.
If you want to refine your observation skills, all you have to do is download my 100+ body
language tips, right in the description of this video.
My name is Jesús Enrique Rosas and it will always be a pleasure, my body language buddies!
Much Love, and Bliss.