Let's move on the story that everyone in America
has been dealing with-- the mass shooting in Las Vegas.
Today we learned more details about the shooter.
He was a 64-year-old man from Florida
with no criminal record,
and he owned 42 guns.
Oh, and also, apparently, he was a multimillionaire.
Which means right now he doesn't fit any profile
of any mass shooter.
And you know who's having a hard time
processing all of that information?
The good people at Fox News.
Here's the other thing.
Bin Laden, we knew who to hate.
You know, you saw Sandy Hook,
-we knew that mutant living in his basement. -Yeah.
We don't even know enough about him to hate him yet.
That is... that is so true.
How do you hate someone who's killed 59 people? Uh...
Because he's not Muslim.
I mean, he wasn't known to be mentally ill.
He doesn't kneel for the anthem.
He's just a rich white guy
who shot people at a country music concert.
Like, how do you hate him?
There's nothing to hate.
I bet someone at Fox News right now
is trying to hack into 23andMe, just like, "Come on,
"there's got to be something about him,
"something about him, he's got to have some...
"Ah, two percent Inuit? I'll take it, I'll take it.
I guess it's kind of a burka. I'll take it."
Since Sunday's shooting didn't fit
any of Fox's established narratives,
they couldn't politicize it.
Right? And if they couldn't politicize it,
then I guess neither should anyone else.
Can we not have a day in which we mourn
before we engage in some very divisive debate
over an issue on which there's been no agreement
in this country for a very long time?
You truly hope that in a moment like this
we can move beyond politics.
Do you need to politicize this today?
Can you just stand-down for a moment?
I like how FOX News says
"please don't politicize this today,"
as if there's any time they'd be willing
to talk about gun control.
'Cause, I mean, I'm-I'm happy to wait a couple of days,
but you know they'd be like,
"Oh, sorry. We can't do Thursday.
Yeah, we're gonna be talking about Hillary's e-mails."
Be like, "Oh, what about, what about Friday?"
"No, still talking about Hillary's e-mails."
"Next month, next year?"
"Yeah, we're gonna be swamped with the e-mails for a while.
Yeah."
But I get the concern.
I mean, what kind of terrible people
would push a political agenda
the day after a mass shooting?
A shooting like with Orlando.
In the wake of this attack, you wonder whether people like that
should be, you know, should be coming here.
Everyone in the Muslim community,
let's be part of the solution
and work together as Americans
to combat radical Islamic terrorism.
It would be to the president's best interest
to rally around the country to name an enemy
and a movement to stop.
Anybody who's coming from overseas,
especially from the Middle East,
we need to vet them out.
Okay. That-that last guy's just weird.
No. It's almost like he just doesn't want to see his family.
(with Middle Eastern accent): "We need to vet
"all of the people from the Middle East,
"especially my brother Hamid,
"who's always trying to come here
"and borrow money from me,
"and we need to vet my Aunt Fatima,
"who's always trying to set me up.
"I'm not getting married, Fatima.
"Hashtag #SingleToMingle, okay?
"Okay? Block all of them.
"Block all of them!
All of them."
(cheering and applause)
(normal voice): So clearly, FOX's whole,
"don't politicize it" is BS.
Or maybe just a way to buy time
while they're figuring out how to politicize it.
Right now, friends helped friends to safety,
people helped strangers to safety,
and law enforcement was running towards the bullet,
so all those kneelers in the NFL out there,
they need to recognize
when they're kneeling during the anthem, they're kneeling,
and we're supposed to be honoring law enforcement,
law enforcement that's trying to save lives, not take lives.
Wow. Wow.
Did this guy just find a way to use the mass shooting
to pivot back to the NFL argument?
Yeah, like, after watching this, you'd be thinking,
"Hundreds of people shot in Las Vegas.
Colin Kaepernick, you son of a bitch!"
But-but I hear, what is his point?
You've got to show respect to the police.
Personally, I'd rather respect the police
by reducing the number of guns that risk killing police.
But, yeah. I mean, not kneeling is good, too.
You do your thing do. Do whatever you want.
(applause)
Like...
The people on FOX News are so desperate to find a narrative
to grasp on to, that at times,
even they couldn't get on board with their own ideas.
His brother said he didn't believe in God,
or didn't have a God, or didn't have faith in his life,
so maybe, this is all speculation,
but that possibly could be the reason.
Because he knows country musicians or country music fans
are normally pro-God and go to church on Sundays.
Maybe he has a problem with that,
or had a problem with that.
-Okay. You all want to weigh-in on that. -All right.
-Yeah. No. I didn't know if... -All right, stay silent.
-I didn't know if Steve-- -Let us know what you think.
-Send us your e-mails. -Well-- Yeah.
(laughter)
Dear FOX News, that (bleep) was hilarious.
E-mail sent.
(applause)
Yesterday, everyone on FOX News was flailing
like Mariah Carey on New Year's Eve.
Everyone-- Well, everyone except for one man:
SpongeBob Squarehead.
Imagine if the president today
brought up the Second Amendment--
how would the news media in this country have reacted?
There were a lot of people that raced immediately to,
"Let's talk about guns."
I've always been a believer that you-you got to prepare
to defend yourself. And-and I had gun permits
in New York and Rhode Island
and California and-and...
and Alabama and Georgia in my life,
and I-I was trained in the use of a firearm by my parents,
that had connections to law enforcement.
What does that mean? "I was trained in the use
"of a firearm by my parents,
that had connections to law enforcement"?
The world doesn't work like that.
Like, if someone's sick on the plane, no one screams,
"Does anyone have a cousin who watched Grey's Anatomy? Anyone?"
But according to Sean Hannity,
what really stops a bad guy with a gun
is a Sean Hannity with a gun.
This guy's got a machine gun. Okay, how are they gonna
take him on without a weapon? Or if it's happening
within a crowd-- if you're in San Bernardino,
do you want Sean Hannity,
who's trained in the safety and use of a firearm
in that room, so when they drop the clip
and they start to reload, you got a shot, you got a chance?
Okay, Sean, you answered your own question.
The shooter was 400 yards away
in a hotel room 32 floors up.
But you're, like, "Yeah, but if he was down on the ground
"and close to me and was out of bullets,
then I might have a chance to shoot him down."
That's like saying, "If Tyra Banks had no money
"and I had all the money
"and she was, like, really hungry,
I might have a chance."
It's not reality.
Hannity's fantasy was so ridiculous
that even his Fox colleague couldn't get on board.
Do you want Sean Hannity, who's trained
in the safety and use of a firearm in that room,
so when they drop the clip and they start to reload
you got a shot, you got a chance?
Yeah, wouldn't have done much good with a bandoli...
It's 32nd, uh, floor, unless you had a high-powered rifle
to take him out, but uh, but your point is well taken.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Sean, you-you made absolutely no sense,
but your point is well taken. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
You know she's thinking, "Dude, you couldn't even
"protect women from being sexually harassed
"in your own building, and now you're Batman?
"Calm down. Calm down, man.
"Calm down. Calm down.
Calm down."
I'm... Like, I'm not gonna lie--
he may seem crazy, but after watching that,
I wish Sean Hannity would start his own security service.
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