(Jessica laughing)
- [Jessica] Hey, what's up?
It's me, Jessica Jay and I decided to provide
some new content for ya.
You're gonna come along and watch me
and my cousin Chrystal,
make some chocolate covered strawberries for you
and give you a behind the scenes look of what we girls do,
and how we talk about y'all.
So let's get started.
Let's first grab some strawberries.
That's lettuce.
Let's grab some strawberries.
That's strawberries.
Good strawberries.
Let's also get a double boiler, which I don't have.
So we'll just grab two pots.
Yep, two pots.
And yeah, now we're gonna rinse strawberries for ya
to get started,
or at the very least open the goddam strawberry box.
Yep, and then we're gonna rinse some for ya.
And to us, I picked chocolate-covered strawberries,
because I feel like people
always put their best food forward,
but really there could be rotten strawberries,
like this one, that you would need to throw out,
but people still give it to you, right?
With the chocolate-covered coating.
So without further ado,
let's make you some chocolate-covered strawberries.
Chrystal, show them the chocolate.
We're gonna need 16 ounces of milk chocolate.
- Isn't it this?
Oh wait, this is my chocolate.
- I guess this is 16 ounces.
Well, nine plus nine- - Is 18.
- That's fine just grab it.
You can never have more than enough chocolate.
Two tablespoons of shortening.
- We got plenty.
- [Jessica] No sugar, oh we are gonna put this...
(Jessica screaming)
Right, in the double boiler melt the chocolate
and shortening.
- Oh my, hold on more moldy ones.
- Get the fuck outta here.
That's fine! Those are fine!
In double boiler melt the chocolate
and shortening stirring a...
What?
- [Chrystal] You gotta double boil it,
so I gotta boil this water.
- Two tablespoons of Shortening.
Melt the chocolate...
- On the double boiler once it boils.
- [Jessica] I don't know what that means,
can you explain to me what that means?
I don't get it.
- Well, from my understanding
and watching all "Food Network" for so many years,
double boiler is when you boil water in a pot
and then you put another bowl or pot on top of it.
That's why you melt it.
- [Jessica] Ah, so we gotta have two because-
- I have it already.
I have it right here.
- [Jessica] Well, that need's to go inside something,
that's what you said.
How do you open this?
- With your teeth.
- [Jessica] I have lipstick on.
- Where are your scissors?
(drawer bangs) (chocolate packet crinkles)
- What is that shit?
- You got any scissors?
- I don't have any other scissors.
- Oh my god.
What kind of pathetic ass scissors is this?
- I know, oh right, I know.
- All right.
- Yeah, that's a lot.
- That's only nine ounces tho. - That's a fucking lot.
- But the recipe called for 16, that's only nine.
- [Jessica] Goodness gracious
- The white ones are fire.
Ooh, what color should we pick?
- [Jessica] What do you mean?
- [Chrystal] The color, the food coloring.
- This is it. (spoon thuds)
One. (spoon thuds)
Two then it's like one.
Put me! Put me up!
Why?
- 'Cause it's following me. (spoon thuds)
Okay (cans hissing)
- Cheers. - Cheers.
- The reason I picked Chocolate covered strawberries
is because it's kinda like people
have like a little bit of like a shell.
- [Chrystal] Okay.
- No, no, no, a quality person will have
like a little bit of a, you know,
they don't spill your guts upfront.
I had a client who said I don't get it.
I told her like all my vulnerabilities,
all my traumas on the first day
on the first day. - On the first day?
- On the first day and he's like, 'cause I just thought like
wanted to get that out of the way.
He's like, "Why, I just don't understand,
like, don't you want to know?,
like, aren't you supposed to be vulnerable?"
And I was like, that's like,
that information is not privy to everybody.
- No.
- You gotta earn that information from people.
- Yes.
Yes, I agree.
- I was like showing up to the date butt naked
because one day you might get naked.
- And people are always ready to
accept vulnerability like that.
- That's true. - All in one sitting.
- So you need a little bit of a hard chocolate
covered shell.
Which looks nice.
Today I talked about in the live stream
about putting your best foot forward
and how that could be a bad thing.
If its the only foot they ever see.
So they got to see your other fucking foot at some point.
- And there's also things like vulnerability is not the only
side people have.
- What other sides on there?
- A hard shell.
(both laugh)
- Okay, so we're making chocolate covered strawberries
and it's kind of like once you get past the goodness,
there's still so much more to offer.
- [Chrystal] Like the meat.
- Sometimes you find out that the strawberries is rotten
(Jessica screaming)
- You have to throw it away.
- Depends on who's making that chocolate covered strawberry.
Chrystal and I did ourselves a favor
and throw out all the moldy ones.
- Moldy ones?
- I left the few good ones.
- I mean, I still think there are still
pretty moldy soft ones there
that are overripe.
- But sometimes that's okay.
- Yeah.
We can still hold...
- Because that's sweetest part
when they're like right before they're bad for you.
- Yeah.
- There's a metaphor in there somewhere.
- Also, the rest of the strawberry,
the majority of the strawberries still okay.
So it carries the soft.
- Right, everybody has a little bit of rot.
(both laughing)
And it's okay to ingest, it won't kill you.
God, this turned out to be a great metaphor.
That's very good.
so you gotta get the boiling, is it boiling yet?
Don't, put it high.
Don't be fucking shy.
Don't be shy with your chocolate covered strawberry.
- Oh my gosh
It's gonna explode.
- It's not gonna explode it's a fucking pot of water.
Okay, let's look at the finished product.
Now that I've cleaned up all the glass.
Ayan!
[Chrystal] Okay, can we turn these off?
- [Jessica] We've got food coloring.
Ayan!
- [Jessica] Wait, what are we doing with these?
- [Chrystal] This is the food coloring one.
All right, I think you need to put the food coloring in now.
- [Jessica] This is the process of people
putting together their facade/
you know what you show the world.
- [Chrystal] Only not too much because then it'll be red.
- [Jessica] All right!
See, it's fine (Chrystal stirring)
It's fine, it's fine.
It's fine. (Chrystal stirring)
- [Chrystal] A little more, a little more.
- [Jessica] I don't like pink.
- [Chrystal] What are the colors you wanna do?
- [Jessica] Blue!
- [Chrystal] Why? Who puts blue on a strawberry.
- [Jessica] As you can see Chrystal and I are arguing
over what kind of facade...
(mumbled chattering)
- [Chrystal] So it's pink and white and chocolate.
- [Jessica] So what is this guy?
- [Chrystal] This is the chocolate.
(pots thuds)
- [Jessica] Just like so?
It said use toothpicks.
- [Chrystal] We don't have any.
- [Jessica] So am I just doing this?
- [Chrystal] Yeah.
- [Jessica] Like so?
- [Chrystal] You dip it and then put on the wax paper.
- [Jessica] Ayan!
So this is going to be somebody who is like
really fake as fuck.
I've dated plenty of these wonderful chocolate covered
strawberries with a lot of rot on the inside, unfortunately.
And I've been this I've definitely been
the rot on the inside.
I'll be the first to admit.
How many of these do you wanna do?
- [Chrystal] You opened two things of strawberries.
- [Jessica] Let's Just pick the biggest ones
and then eat the regular sized ones.
An example would be like, "Oh my God,
they make a lot of fucking money"
and they're very good looking...
- [Chrystal] But tasty.
- [Jessica] I'm talking about people, you sick fuck.
- [Chrystal] Oh!
- [Jessica] They make a lot of money
and they're tasty, really?
That's where you thought I was...
What's wrong with you.
They make a lot of money, they're very good looking, but...
- [Chrystal] These are pretty.
- [Jessica] They have commitment issues.
Yeah, these are looking really fucking good.
What else?
- [Chrystal] I really like the rotten metaphor.
- [Jessica] Oh yeah! Yeah.
- [Chrystal] Right? Like, you know how some of this
couple of the strawberries we had to throw away
'cause they were rotten.
- [Jessica] Exactly.
And also on the flip side,
you might get blessed with like the tastiest strawberry
in the bunch, but it like was small.
- [Chrystal] Yeah.
Also, but can you imagine if we put
those rotten strawberries in the chocolate?
- [Jessica] That'd be disgusting.
- [Chrystal] It would be gross.
So, you open it up is like white and moldy.
- [Jessica] This is a fucking lie.
- [Chrystal] Okay, do some white chocolate.
Dip, some white chocolate.
- [Jessica] All right, okay, all right.
But guys, white chocolate or dark chocolate,
it's still chocolate.
There's still strawberry.
All strawberries on the inside.
Oh yeah, that's fucking good.
That is fucking good.
- [Chrystal] Jumped out of your hand.
- [Jessica] This is like really fucking rotten.
Whatever we are gonna do it.
(Jessica evil laughing)
Ayan!
Are you getting this shit?
Ayan!
I know, see this is the process of making your facade
it doesn't turn out the best.
- [Chrystal] Not the way that you always want.
- [Jessica] Or the way that you want it to.
But again, we're all still strawberries on the inside.
Okay, so here's the finished product.
And me and Chrystal are gonna go to the club right now
and then we're gonna come home
and eat them drunk like you would normally do
when you meet somebody.
And then we'll tell you guys how it is.
We'll see you in the field.
(upbeat music)
Hey good morning, me and Chrystal made up.
So now we're gonna go try the strawberries.
So we went out last night, talk to them about our night.
- It was great, I think.
- It was interesting.
I ran into this dude, I kind of ghosted.
I hope he doesn't watch this.
Okay, but like I was right.
Like we were talking about people putting
their best foot forward.
This dude had all these pictures
from what, 2015. - Like five years ago?
- Yeah.
And then I fucking saw him in person.
I was like, "Yo, Chrystal, that's that dude".
And she walked...
Tell them what you did.
- Well, this is, it wouldn't be our night out
if I didn't approach a guy and it was like...
- For me, this is very true.
- It would not be-
- I was like, "Yo, that's him," and hid behind mad people.
Bless the people at that cigar bar.
They were very okay with hiding me behind them was cute.
- Yeah and I also told like three other dudes your business.
- What? Why?
- You were there talking to other guys.
And then, you know, they were like sitting down
and I was like...
And they came and they said, "Can I sit down?".
I was like, "Okay".
- That's why you were there for that long.
You fucking left me for so long.
She left me for so long.
She's like, "I'm gonna go up to him
and ask him if his name is Mike."
I was like, "Yeah I fucking dare you to do it".
- So, I sat down and they all started,
they were talking to me.
They were like...
- That's nice, that's so nice.
She fucking left me.
- Is this your friend?
And he was like, "Yeah".
And then I was like, "Oh he's supposed to be going out
with my cousin"
And he was like, "Oh",
they were like, "What's your name?"
And then we just started talking and I was like, "Okay".
And then he stopped talking...
- Mind you, I'm crouched behind a fucking chair.
- And I was like, my cousin's over...
She's here somewhere.
- I can't believe you.
I can't believe you.
You were just supposed to ask that dude's name
and know you're supposed to go tacos.
- No all the other guys, all his friends knew-
- Anyway, that putting your best foot forward.
Like y'all he definitely drizzled with, you know,
his strawberry was definitely well presented, but I mean,
I wouldn't say he was a rotten strawberry.
- No.
- Let say it was a fucking tomato inside.
- He did put his best pictures because I don't think
he looked like his pictures.
Yes, he was tall.
Yes, he was like, his size was match the pictures,
but I don't think he-
- Yeah, I know.
- That's why when I was like, are you sure?
- I don't understand why you wouldn't put
who you really fucking are.
Like, I only put pictures that are within like
the last three months, three months, six months.
How are you gonna put fucking
five year old pictures on there?
- Yeah.
- Anyway, let's see if this fucking strawberries...
Look on how good they look.
Yes I ate one.
(Jessica fake laughs)
They look bad.
- Yeah.
- They looked better yesterday.
I would like - We didn't refrigerate them.
That's what she said.
Don't tell them we didn't refrigerate them.
(mumbled chatter)
Cheers. - Cheers.
(both chomping)
- Oh man.
That's fucking good.
Okay, well guys, I hope you learned your lesson
from my lesson.
Make sure you got-
- I think I ate a bad one.
- Make sure you got a good strawberry.
You know don't make your outer shell
too appetizing where you know, you're giving her a fucking
clove of garlic inside.
- [Chrystal] Oh god!
- Depending what you're looking for.
Thanks for watching.
Hope you guys enjoyed this episode with me and Chrystal.
I'll see you guys next time.