“Don’t worry! It grows back!”
SpongeBob is synonymous with an entire generation of childhood comfort cartoons. That being said,
it’s not always comfortable in the deep blue sea. We’ve talked about SpongeBob’s
dark moments before, but trust us when we say there’s still MORE than enough to dive into.
This isn't your average everyday darkness…it's ADVANCED darkness. I’m ____ with WickedBinge,
and these are the DARKEST SpongeBob SquarePants Moments.
First up, not every dark moment is familiar to the masses. There are some infamous Deleted
scenes that were either taken off the air, or never aired to begin with. One example of the
latter was a scene from “Just One Bite,” in which Squidward walks into the Krusty Krab after hours
to soothe his intense Krabby Patty cravings. A bucket of water on the door is the extent of
security measures–except, it isn’t water…it’s gas, which Squiddy finds out the hard way after a match
falls onto it. There’s nothing particularly dark about this scene compared to anything else–heck,
it’s not even close to the first time Squidward has spontaneously exploded.
But its timing on the episode’s initial air date, roughly just one month after
the 9/11 terrorist attacks, made the decision to delete it seem sensible to the writers. Which,
actually, is REALLY weird considering Squidward explodes at the end of the episode anyway…?
There’s also an unused close-up of SpongeBob’s exposed brain in “Scaredy Pants.”
This one’s deletion is somehow even more reasonable, as even though they show it
in that hand-drawn Season 1 style anyway, this painted still may have been a bit of
a jumpscare for the kids watching…especially if even the Flying Dutchman was freaked out.
Don’t worry about Dutchie, though; he gets revenge during The Flying Dutchman’s Transformation. The
ominous Flyin’ Dutchman falls into that really cool category of characters you just know are
synonymous with a good episode. In the episode “Ghost Host,” we learn that even the scariest
ghost pirates have their rough patches. The Flying Dutchman has a ghastly good
time scaring SpongeBob until even scaredy-pants SquarePants himself gets too used to his moves
to be affected anymore. This results in a pretty gruesome scene of the Dutchman transforming into
various creatures with surprisingly graphic detail in a last-ditch attempt to scare SpongeBob. While
the monsters themselves aren’t that much scarier than something you might see in,
say, Scooby-Doo, it’s still a lot rougher on the eyes than Spongebob’s usual fare.
But it’s nothing compared to the scariest foe SpongeBob’s ever faced: Wormy. As sea creatures,
it’s only reasonable that Spongebob and Patrick have absolutely no clue
about the anatomy of a caterpillar or a butterfly. So when Wormy goes
through metamorphosis while the two are gone overnight, they assume the worst:
this monstrous butterfly has gone full-on Morpho Knight on their dear friend Wormy,
and it’s only a matter of time before the rest of Bikini Bottom follows suit. If you think
the two are being unreasonable, the lovely closeup of an angry horsefly spread throughout the episode
SEVERAL TIMES gives a nice jumpscare to justify how horrified the poor buddies are. If you’ve got
a fear of bugs, this episode almost certainly takes the blame if you grew up watching it.
Next up we have, not a moment, but actually a character. This is The
Checkered Past (and present) of Mrs. Puff. Sometimes, the most unsettling
moments are the ones you only ever see the tiniest glimpses of. No character in the
deep blue sea embodies this principle quite like Mrs. Puff. Beneath her soft
spoken voice and gentle demeanor lies a woman who’s ready to snap at any moment.
Example: in “The Bully,” she says “I got caught in traffic on the way in here when that whole
“I’m gonna be doing this for the rest of my life” thing reared its ugly head and I, er….anyway,”
It’s hard to blame her, to be fair. Squidward has a sad life, sure, but Puff Mama makes his look
like a day at the carnival. Her husband’s corpse has been turned into a lamp, she’s been sent to
prison and the hospital due to SpongeBob’s negligence more times than anyone can count,
including nearly being killed by him on multiple occasions. In one episode, she even implies that
she is not only not from Bikini Bottom, but that Mrs. Puff isn’t even her real name. Which begs
even FURTHER questions of what the heck Puff was up to wherever she was before her time as
SpongeBob’s eternally unfortunate instructor–and, back to the quote from earlier, what she did
in that traffic to make her late. It’s easy to feel for her, but that said, this doesn’t really
justify Puff becoming a boatjacker, attempting to get SpongeBob killed in a demolition derby,
et cetera, et cetera. What I learned in boating school is…get a therapist.
Ugh. Okay, we all knew it was coming. Let’s get the Toenail scene over with. If you’re not
familiar with what we’re talking about, you are blessed and honestly should just skip to the next
entry. But for those among us already cursed with the knowledge of the episode “House Fancy,” let’s
help Squiddy move his couch real quick. …
What the barnacles are we even supposed to say here? Like…yeah,
it’s legitimate body horror. It’s absolutely wild that so many people had to write, draw,
voice, approve, and air this scene and NOBODY questioned whether it
was MAYBE a little too dark for this innocent, happy kids’ show. Don’t worry,
though–it’s not even close to the worst thing poor Squiddy’s gonna go through on this list.
The next entry is just as notorious: the third act of “One Coarse Meal.” Whatever your opinion
on old versus new SpongeBob, few would disagree that anything is better than whatever happened
from seasons 6 through 8. One Coarse Meal is one of the most hated episodes of the entire series,
and with good reason; the episode consists of Mr. Krabs dressing as his own teenage
daughter to psychologically torture Plankton. The episode’s notorious for two reasons: first of all,
Mr. Krabs’s cruelty feels sincerely out of character–an impressive feat for a character who’s
already supposed to be the furthest thing from a saint. But second, and more infamously, is the
legitimate suicide attempt by Plankton–followed by Mr. Krabs laughing at the news.
Look, I get it, you guys are rivals and you hate each other. But there’s no convincing
us that Mr. Krabs is enough of a sadist to laugh at the idea of his former best
friend attempting to get hit by a bus. This episode is unsettling particularly in that it
doesn’t even seem like it’s trying to be funny; it’s closer to horror than comedy, honestly.
And it’s not the only episode that fits that description. Next is "Are You Happy Now?" This
is one of those episodes that always made us feel weirdly uncomfortable growing up.
Being a bit older, it’s pretty easy to see why: this episode is literally just Squidward having
a full-on bout of depression over not having a happiest memory. This crisis comes with not one,
but two low-key suicide jokes–as if we weren’t worried enough about him already. Remember when
Squidward was just this grouchy, exhausted guy? He didn’t ENTIRELY hate his life, or even SpongeBob,
for that matter–he was just frustrated with them, to various degrees depending on the episode.
Here, we see just how much of a toll things have taken on his mental health in the later
seasons. For all his best efforts, SpongeBob isn’t able to bring Squidward out of his funk
until the end of the episode, where Squidward goes full-on Texas Chainsaw
Massacre on an entire party full of papier-mache SpongeBobs. This isn’t really a happy ending,
though…it just feels like the climax of the poor guy’s mental breakdown.
Believe it or not, though, it gets even more on the nose with a Direct Reference
to an infamous Creepypasta. One of the most iconic creepypasta stories of all time,
“Squidward’s Suicide” is the story of a cursed episode of
SpongeBob never aired before. As for the plot…we’ll let you figure that one out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WpJqk9Qf4M&ab_channel=JJTheCrazy
All you need to know is that audiences were jump-scared by a hand-drawn still image of the
infamous “Red Mist” frame from the creepypasta. Sadly, subsequent airings replaced it with…a
baby Squidward pooping himself. Thanks, Nick, that’s…just the episode we wanted to remember.
At least it’s relatively pleasant compared to what happens to Squidward during Patrick’s
Ink Lemonade Business. While the latest seasons of SpongeBob have been divisive
among fans–better than what can be said than that awkward middle period’s reputation–few
on either side disagree that “Ink Lemonade” is one of the series’ worst.
This episode is literally just 11 minutes of Patrick genuinely violating Squidward for his
ink to make the titular beverage. He does this by continually terrifying Squidward and forcing
him to spray ink–an act which CLEARLY causes him great pain and anxiety, mind you–only to
then pass it out to the people of Bikini Bottom to drink. He doesn’t even seem to have a reason for
it–this is just fun for Pat. We could highlight him ripping his own skin off–which surprisingly
isn’t the only time the series has done this, since it happened in “Sand Castles in the Sand”,
too. But arguably even more disturbing (and disgusting) is that Patrick is both taking
a person’s bodily fluids without their consent, and feeding those bodily fluids to others without
their consent. The fact that the spider-egg filled cookies are the more pleasant part of the equation
here should say it all, really. This episode does VERY successfully make Patrick feel like
a horror movie villain, though, so if that was their angle they actually did pretty good here.
Would you believe us if we said Squidward is the object of other horror-adjacent episodes….oh,
who are we fooling? Of course you would. SpongeBob StalkerPants. SpongeBob has always
been fond of Squidward. As irritating as he can be to Squidward, and as rude as Squidward
can be to SpongeBob, they had a genuine bond…then the show reached season six,
and SpongeBob became Squidward’s legitimate nightmare. In the episode “Squid’s Visit,” we
find out that SpongeBob is willing to steal from Squidward’s house only to force him to
come over for a visit. This, of course, is creepy enough already–but if that’s not enough for you,
SpongeBob has meticulously recreated every last detail of Squidward’s house. From the
inscriptions on his mother’s handmade pillow even to his rash cream, this understandably
horrifies Squidward and ultimately leads him into a mental breakdown. Add on the other times
SpongeBob has engaged in some weirdly creepy behavior towards his next-door neighbor, and
it’s nothing short of a mystery how it took the latter 8 seasons to consider a restraining order.
Nearing the end, we’ve got one of the most classic dark comedy moments in the series: The
Health Inspector. Every SpongeBob fan remembers the iconic “Nasty Patty” episode where SpongeBob
and Mr. Krabs work together to make the most disgusting Krabby Patty possible to
poison the fake health inspector. “It doesn’t seem right….but it feeeeels so good!” But when
this patty ends up knocking the inspector out, and that inspector turns out to be legitimate,
the pair believe they’ve just straight-up killed a man. The remainder of the episode consists of
a panicked, ruthless Krabs and a panicked, horrified SpongeBob working together to bury
the body and hide it from the police. This is definitely one of the most iconic and hilarious
episodes of the entire series, which is really the only reason it isn’t higher–it’s well-regarded
for blending the comedy of SpongeBob with the darkness of a body-burying story effectively,
and for that reason we’re only going to call it the THIRD-darkest moment of the series’ run.
Nearing the rock-bottom of our list is another full episode: Spongehenge. In this season five
episode, SpongeBob is driven out of Bikini Bottom due to a windstorm making him an
involuntary musical instrument…and by extension, a jellyfish magnet unable to perform his usual
duties. Eventually, he comes up with a solution; he builds a circle of gigantic stone SpongeBobs to
attract the jellyfish instead of him. But in the end, as he gleefully returns to Bikini Bottom,
he’s met with a harrowing sight; the Krusty Krab buried in sand, a reference to the end
of the classic “Planet of the Apes” movie. As for why we consider it so dark? Well,
here’s the thing; this episode is incredibly different in tone from any
other episode of the series already, and for this ending to be the last we see of SpongeBob in the
episode–or anyone, aside from aliens and jellyfish in the distant future–is extremely unsettling. It
falls into the “One Coarse Meal” category of episodes that aren’t even trying to be funny,
except with an even more bleak ending. The episode doesn’t have a hint of the series’ usual humor,
and that makes the dark subject matter leave an even creepier mark on the audience.
But at the end of our list, we’re going back to full-on body horror: Squidward’s Therapy
Session. The episode “SquidBob TentaclePants” has Squidward nightmarishly fused with SpongeBob due
to a malfunction in Sandy’s machine. The two have to cope with their new status as
conjoined neighbors, to great difficulty on both ends. While this plot is a little unsettling,
it doesn’t go into full-on terrifying until the ending scene. When Squidward’s audience
at a clarinet recital is actually impressed by him being a freaky fusion with SpongeBob,
they’re naturally disappointed when he’s turned back to normal–so naturally, he tries his darndest
to reverse the effects of Sandy’s ray gun that fixed them in the first place, resulting in…this.
Jumpscare? Check. Psychological horror? Check. All of SpongeBob and his buddies having horrifically
disfigured, agonized faces of pure torment? VERY much a check. Maybe I’m biased, because this
scene genuinely traumatized me as a kid, but…sweet Neptune, this just has NO business being in a show
as usually-chill as SpongeBob. Other entries on this list are either humorously dark, or
they’re so out of place that they somehow revert to being funny–and even the darkest moments were
usually from already unsettling episodes. Despite the plot, this episode was pretty in-line with
Spongebob’s usual brand of comedy, so to have this display of legitimate body horror easily earns
this therapy session the Gold Medal of Good…now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna follow suit.