Hey Dan here at my apartment in Mexico where I'll be for about another month or
so lots of questions I've been receiving from you on not only just the as Dan
page on my website but also through comments on YouTube through Instagram
through Facebook I am being a lot more active on Instagram and Facebook sharing
like shorter videos and things that aren't quite suitable for YouTube and
that sort of thing so if you do want to find me there on Instagram it's just Dan
Johnston and on Facebook it dreams around the world HQ or probably just
dreams around the world and the search and you'll find it there so let's get
into some of these questions so here's a question I received through the Facebook
page which is not the right way to send me questions but it's all good
hey Dad quick question I'm a long time watcher and subscriber on your channel
and I absolutely love your videos well thank you thank you
I have an ENFP myself and I've noticed a pattern of attracting individuals into
my life who are polar opposite by ESTJ or ISTJ types obviously there is some
sort of attraction either as a friendship or romantic partnership
however at times we seriously clash the younger me used to think that this was a
good thing because they kept me grounded I have noticed that these types tend to
have more logical decision-making and they have a desire to control their
surroundings and stick to what is known or safe do you think this will become
detrimental to my desire to grow as a person and to be free do you have any
similar experiences or advice for me this is a great question and personally
I think that the opposite types types that are a lot more grounded and more
realistic they serve a very good function but not as dreamers and not as
personal growth friends let's say if we want to look at it that way so let's say
you're growing your business you you know achieve your dreams whatever that
happens to be and ISTJ your ESTJ might make a great sort of vice-president or
even a great just business partner for you in many ways but when it
comes to dreaming of what's possible especially when you're younger my hunch
is is cjs estjs they're gonna hold you back as as friend because you're gonna
be very lofty in your dreams and what you want to do and they're going to like
you said keep you grounded but not necessarily in a good way as a Nina P
you're going to get a lot of energy from your big dreams right from what you can
do what's possible you need that as your fuel to push you forward and if you have
an es TJ or is TJ constantly pulling you down and saying you know that's not
possible or give me the details or how will you execute that that's going to
stop you from having those dreams which ultimately is going to stop you from
executing and doing anything and part of this is also the way that you will
probably interact with information and plan so for me as an ENFP I'm very good
at the big picture stuff and actually the detailed day-to-day like if I'm
trying to let's say set up a video on YouTube I get into the details quite
well and that but the middle ground sort of the planning the 3-month goals all
that sort of stuff I'm terrible at and so if I'm talking to a more grounded
type person someone who wants that plan detailed out I can't do it just not how
it work I can have with my big here's what I want to do and then day to day I
can get into it and I can execute and make it happen based on that really big
picture plan but the day to day I have a lot of trouble so I would say keep these
people in your life in terms of sharing your plans and having someone who's
going to really encourage you and push you on and help you you know dream big
especially early on when you don't have that proven track record or know how
you're gonna do it yet I would shy away from sharing that with
that kind of people those kind of people probably better English as well as maybe
nodding not maybe spending as
time with them if you know you're talking about romantically so if this is
your partner someone you're spending that much time with typically might not
be the the best choice in my opinion so this next question I got I won't read
all the details of it but essentially it's from a 30 year old ENFP who is in a
career that they don't really like and they want to make a change but they're
dealing with the fear issue of you know going back to school making it change
that sort of thing and the end part is I think it's right to acknowledge that you
are stuck in a dead-end but it takes lots of curd and discipline and energy
to get what you want have you also been at this point and my quick response to
this is yes I was at that point I'm in my 20s when I was making a big change
and the follow-up question was didn't you feel a big amount of fear and that's
what I want to sort of focus on here you know the fear like what if something
goes wrong or what if I make a mistake and the fear it's totally normal and
that's something that's really important to know and acknowledges being scared is
like it's gonna happen no one's Superman right so if you're
making a big career change of thinking about quitting your job or moving abroad
or you know changing your major at school or dropping out of school it's
going to be scary what we should try to learn to do is differentiate between
fear that's telling us like don't do this so if there's like a poisonous
snake and you feel fear that fear is good it's saying don't touch this
poisonous snake right there's also the fear that's more of the fear of the
unknown and the anxiety that goes around that and that is really a misleading
fear because it's fear the unknown but anything like you could open the freezer
and what's going to be in the freezer might be unknown it could be ice cream
or it could be somebody's head so fearing the unknown is not something
that really serves so figure that out are you afraid because you might
actually make like it is the wrong decision or is it just the fear of the
unknown most of the time the vast majority of
the time it's going to be more fear the unknown so once you figure that out and
you realize what you actually need to do and usually your intuition will help you
with this if you actually you know turn off social media for a couple hours go
for a long walk take some time to be with your thoughts you'll realize what
it is you really should be doing once you figure that out I'm a big fan of
making big decisions I made a video about this recently Keystone decisions I
believe is the title about making a big decision that you can traverse and that
helps you overcome all the fear so check out that video if you haven't and it
will help with all that fear type stuff big life changes that kind of thing
you