Is perception really everything? How does changing your perception change your life? That's what we're talking about today at QueenBeeing.com
So Let's get started. Closed captioning provided by Athena Moberg and CPTSDfoundation.org. My name is Angie Atkinson.
And on this channel, I offer free daily video coaching to help you discover, understand and overcome
narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. I like to call it Toxic Relationship Rehab.
So, if that sounds good to you hit that Subscribe button and we'll get going.
So we were eating dinner and the kids start arguing about doing the dishes.
Nobody wants to do the dishes and nobody enjoys doing the dishes.
So I look around the table and I see what's going on here and I say,
Sophie, the youngest child is better at doing dishes than Noah.
So maybe Sophie should do the dishes and Noah can clean off the table. And I
pointed out you know, dishes are easier than cleaning off the table, putting away the food, taking out the trash.
maybe Sophie should do the dishes and Noah should take out the trash and do the other things.
This was interesting because,
now
the two of them start arguing over who gets to do the dishes, and then I realized what it was really all about.
It was really all about perception. See, The perception of the situation changed. So how does this relate to
narcissistic abuse survivors?
I'm gonna share a little clip with you from a previous video that I did about this
very topic, take a look. Narcissists are known to be self-absorbed and
chances are they usually became that way because at some point in their childhood
they buried their true selves and they became
this false version of themselves that they present to most people in the world today.
This self, this false self, is
the thing that causes them to try to pretend like there's something they're not, they're more than they are,
they become grandiose in their behavior.
This is one of the most common things with narcissist.
Of course the thing that seems to unite all narcissists is the lack of empathy
that they have for other people in their life. While most people seem to think that narcissists are
incredibly arrogant and full of themselves. The truth is most of them secretly kind of feel like the ugly duckling in their lives.
They kind of feel like not everybody gets them and their beauty is
misperceived, if perceived at all.
They project this idealized self-image because it makes them feel stronger about themselves and more secure in themselves, but they fail to
really thrive in that way because they don't really have actual self-esteem.
These are the types of people that need to stand on the shoulders of other people in order to feel better. In reality,
they project this image because they don't want to feel like or even be seen as they're truly broken cells.
So narcissists don't really believe they're worthy and because of that, they tend to
use a bunch of different little ways to kind of deceive us into seeing the false self as well. Because they don't think they're worthy
they use
scheming and manipulation and other kinds of tactics in order to seem like more than they are. So essentially,
not only do they show you how to perceive them incorrectly, but they also
teach you to perceive yourself
incorrectly. So the idea here is change your perception, change your life.
I want you guys to flow instead of fight and what I mean is, if you are constantly
focused on fighting, I got to fight this, I'm a warrior, I'm strong. Okay strong is good, fighting and warrior,
It lends to the idea that you will always have to fight. So instead of that say I'm flowing toward peace,
I'm flowing into my power, I'm flowing into my... I like power better than powerful, fearless, those kinds of things
Yes, fighting and warrior those kinds of things bring more reasons to fight up your warrior into your life.
So instead of fighting I want you to flow, flow into your truth, flow into the life that you want.
It's so much easier to flow than it is to fight, you feel me? and you don't want reasons to fight in your life.
You want reasons to be happy, to be whole, to be full. So flow my friends, flow.
So just a quick refresher on the law of attraction. It's the same concept
they talked about in the book, The secret, the book The power, the movie, the secret.
Basically, what happens is that whatever you're thinking about and focused on you get more of them in your life, in a nutshell.
So if you were constantly finding things to be grateful for,
more reasons to be grateful pop into your life. If you're constantly fighting against something,
more reasons to fight come into your life. When you try to fight something
you're still hurt thinking about that thing. If you want to attract better things into your life instead of thinking about fighting it, think about
just being happy, just feeling better, just feeling good. Here's the thing my friend,
I've been saying this for years and I certainly don't mean to nag,
but please just take a second and really focus on this next sentence.
You don't have to accept someone else's judgment, perception or opinion of you. You get to write your own story.
You choose who you are and how you perceive yourself. Let me say it one more time.
You get to write your own story. The fact is that you can be whoever and whatever you want.
All you have to do is believe that you can, I mean
really believe it, feel it down to your bones and then believe that you're receiving it, that you've already received it, own it because it's
yours if you want it.
Today I challenge you to take a look at the people around you, those you love, those you like and even those who
present certain struggles for you.
Remember your childhood and the people who you spent time with during that time, now think of all the
perceptions that they had about you, your parents, your friends, others, then I want you to think about you.
Have you adopted someone else's opinions of who you are or have you constantly
struggled against it? Do you feel guilty for being who you are?
Because you haven't become what someone else
expected you to become or wanted you to become. Most of us can identify with this feeling on some level
I suspect. But most especially those who have been negatively affected by a narcissist gaslighting and abuse in relationships.
This next part is the hardest part of all, so I hope you're sitting down.
It's finally time to let go of every disapproving look, veiled insult, and a rude comment.
Let go of disapproving looks and veiled insults that go along with
gaslighting, especially from a narcissist obviously.
It's time to wash away the well-intentioned but misguided attempts to save your soul, your sense of fashion and your sense of justice.
You're going to release those attempts that were directed at changing yourself to fit someone else's idea of perfect.
I know what you're thinking, probably something along the lines of, oh yeah, sure! And how would you propose I go about that?
Well, you know me. I've got an answer and if you know me well
you know that it works because it's exactly how I survived my own narcissistic abuse situation.
Try this,
today every time you have a negative thought whether it's about yourself or someone else, especially about yourself, take notice and change your mind.
I want you to cancel the thought and intentionally replace it with an affirmation of your true desires. If you think to yourself,
you know what? I'm always late, notice it and then mentally cancel that thought and then you know, I want you to affirm
I'm always on time. You see what I mean?
So you're gonna cancel it and come up with something more positive.
Perception is everything my friend and you can change yours at will, that's good stuff right?
The trick is, in what one emphasizes, we either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.
The amount of work is the same.
This is one of those things that works, changing your perception intentionally and with a little practice, not only will you see results fast,
but you'll soon realize how much control you really do have in your own life and do what you need to do.
Think about what you're grateful for. When you are going through these moments, these painful
moments where you're trying to figure it all out.
This is the time that you've got to sit down
with your notebook and your pen and write down ten things you are grateful for and three things you love about yourself in the morning and
the evening and any other time you feel just like that, you should do it.
This is the time when you most need to change your vibration.
So if you created an intention and you did all the right steps and you
open your heart energy to it,
you wanted it to be the right thing, you focused really hard on it and nothing happened or something bad happened.
You probably think well, that stuff doesn't work, that law of attraction stuff.
But the thing is whenever you fail to manifest something that you want, whenever you don't get what you want,
it's because you're not matching the vibration that you're sending out into the world to what you want.
That's it doesn't match the intention.
So in the case of fighting against something, same deal.
So without even realizing it you are asking the universe to give you what you're fighting against. So don't feel the need to fight.
I want you to flow, go with the flow and what I mean by the flow is don't just let life happen to you.
But stay focused on what you want,
not what you don't want and remember that as you flow into your future, you get to decide what that looks like and you can
sort of order it up from the catalogue of the universe by
intending and
manifesting through
intentional vibration management. This brings me to the question of the day, question of the day!
And the question of the day is, have you found success changing your perception and changing your life?
Are you willing to give it a shot or do you think it's a bunch of BS?
Share your thoughts and your ideas and your comments and your experiences below and let's talk about it.
That's all I've got for you right now.
As always thank you so much for being a part of my day and a part my life. And hey!
Thanks for letting me be a part of yours.
It really does mean a lot to me. Now before I go make sure you take a look at the videos
I'm leaving for you right here and right here and
while you're here, hit that Subscribe button right there so we can stay connected and continue on this healing journey together. I'll see you soon.