(bright upbeat music)
- What up beautiful people?
It's your homegirl Ms. Shameless,
all up in your building and this is my first video of 2020.
(kids cheering)
(flare music effect)
The first one of the decade.
If you're an 80s baby
that makes you all of this and then some
and you still young and fly and cute boo.
So where I have been?
Well, first of all how have you been?
Let me know in the comments below.
Let me know what your big 2020 mission, goal is.
And for me, a little rewind.
(tape whirling)
I was in Toronto for the holidays.
(upbeat music)
I went to Ottawa.
We're here, PARC Omega.
Gonna go inside and buy some carrots.
There's gonna be buffalo, bison, deer.
- [Driver] Yo, break the carrots in half aye.
- Yeah we're breaking them in half.
- [Driver] I'm gonna go a little bit forward.
- Okay (laughing)
- Woah, he drooled right on me, gross!
(laughing)
- [Maya] But can we have the windows open?
Wow.
- [Driver] Okay, watch out.
- Its head is to big to fit in here, right?
- [Driver] Yeah.
- Wow, buddy you so big!
And I got to do that with my boo, my boo Thang.
Holidays with the family, so much love, so much support.
And that was for two weeks, and then
I got back here to LA.
I got a flu.
I got I don't know what it (throwing up sound),
whatever, TMI, but for 2020 yo.
(dreamy music)
what do we have, what do we have?
Some of my missions and goals this year.
Are to not just finish writing.
That writing needs to be , this is the artist in me.
I'm just like, not only dragging my feet,
but like being a perfectionist
to the point that its not , it's no bueno.
So, not just finishing that this month.
But also, filming that.
That's my big goal that I'm putting out there into 2020.
I am filming my first scripted comedy, Hey yo.
And keep on my routine.
I feel like because I moved
and had to re-nest, cause we women like to do that.
I haven't been able to have my routine,
with my travels, my family and being sick.
So I wanna get back onto my routine.
But I also wanna just not beat myself up.
I sometimes find that, if we're not where we wanna be
we like punish ourself for like.
"Aww I'm not you know hustling and I'm just being lazy."
It's like okay, well be lazy and own that.
And then when you're ready, then own the next chapter.
Because I feel like I like to beat myself up for
wherever I'm at and I'm just like
"Girl, you were sick, what are you gonna do?
Just be sick." (laughing)
So those are like some tidbits of things I've learned.
Whew, I have my Shameless Sunday series on my Instagram.
So make sure you follow me (ding) on Instagram.
Because I upload Shameless Sunday every other Sunday.
And the conversation I had there was,
What are your beliefs?
And are they helping you?
Or not helping you?
And sometimes I find that, this is kind of a recap
what I said over there.
But sometimes I feel that we have this spoken belief.
That we say we believe, but then our day to day
doesn't align with that.
So write out the belief systems that you have,
and write out the ones that your not even aware of.
And you can look at your actions.
I believe I'm too old , I'm too this , I'm too that.
We don't realize that when we say I'm this, I'm that.
If its hurting us, why are we believing this?
Why choose a belief system?
Because it's a choice , your life, your world,
in terms of what's happening in here
and in here, is up to you.
And sometimes we're fed these ideas.
Sometimes, all the time girl!
We are fed these ideas that this is how the world is.
At this point in your life
you're too young, too old, too whatever.
I think it's worth exploring and examining who told you?
And why are you choosing to believe this?
Is this belief helping you?
If it is , great run with it.
If it isn't , dash that ish away.
It's not doing you any good if you feel miserable.
And if it's hurting you or other people around you.
And (smacks lips) I been watching "You".
(laughs) So let me just highlight.
If you believe you're a bad person
because you did something bad to somebody.
Like, you're not a bad person
you're lost, but you need help.
(laughs)
So, get help!
There is nothing wrong with asking someone,
a trained professional especially, for help.
I use psychology today, when I'm looking for therapists.
I think it's amazing resource.
I used it when I was in New York.
I used it over there when I was looking for a
marriage specialist, and at the time when I was married
my partner didn't wanna go, so I went by myself.
And that's perfectly fine too.
So looking for a therapist who has
a set of beliefs that are in alignment with yours.
So in New York I did that, in Los Angeles I did that.
I actually did look for someone in
Toronto and Vancouver for friends.
But what I love about it is,
it has a profile pic as well as a backstory
that they've written.
And I do find it helpful.
Sometimes, we need a therapist that either
looks like us, believes in what we believe.
Something that is relatable.
For me, I'll speak for me.
To have a therapists who's a straight white male,
walking me through my life and my struggles
as an independent woman looking for love.
And the same to the men out there.
If your a man who's looking for help.
Whether it's for anger for, well, whatever the case is.
It does help you, if you speak to a man who gets it.
So yes, get help , examine your beliefs.
Are those beliefs helping or hurting you?
I'll be very candid with you.
It is scary letting go something you've
believed in for so long.
Even if that belief, at this time in your life,
is not helpful.
There's something comforting in
staying in what you know and what you understand.
And it's scary stepping in to this
whole world of "What do you mean
Santa Claus doesn't exist?"
I'm not saying "Stop believing in God,
believe in God, don't you dare."
(laughs) What I'm saying is,
if your belief system is punishing you
and making you feel awful about yourself,
for just being you then we need to examine that.
As a social experiment, I love to ask questions.
"What would happen if I shamelessly promoted myself?"
" What would happen if I decided to put this on the coat rack
and adopt this new system."
Try it out and see how your life
becomes possibly better, the same or worse.
Just try, I'm just saying just try new things.
Its 2020!
We're in a new decade (laughs).
(uplifting tempo music)
This is all new, new, new.
So let's just be new.
Let's reenergize.
Let's revitalize.
Let's rebirth and reborn ourselves.
And I'm sending you all the positive
new vibe energy into this year, this decade.
I'm super excited for everything
you're going to accomplish this year.
And for the years to come.
I love you boo's.
Until next time, remember to do you, be you and stay true.
Be shameless.
IG y'all, IG.
(bright upbeat music)