A Charlie Brown Christmas has become a bonafide holiday staple.
If you’re an adult who’s watched the show multiple times, there are several details
you may have noticed about this seasonal classic that younger viewers likely miss.
Let's investigate.
Just as Pig-Pen is perpetually surrounded by dust clouds and Schroeder is almost always
next to his piano, Linus is hardly ever seen without his trusty blue blanket.
He's got it with him outside in the snow, and inside during rehearsals for the Christmas
play.
"Linus, you've got to get rid of that stupid blanket!"
He's quite clearly attached to the thing.
Perhaps a little too attached.
"You think you're so smart with that blanket.
What are going to do with it when you grow up?"
"Maybe I'll make it into a sportcoat."
You can't blame Linus for not wanting to let the blanket go: It appears to be made of 100%
pure magic.
It gets dragged through the snow all day without getting soggy, and even serves as a remarkably
accurate slingshot.
Wait, did he just ice-skate with his security blanket in his hand?
And now this is happening.
Later on, Lucy tries to get him to put down the blanket so that he can dress up like a
shepherd for the Christmas play.
That's when Linus reveals that the blanket can shapeshift, forming a perfect headdress
complete with a band in the middle.
Who manufactures this Swiss Army Security Blanket?
We simply must have one.
A good chunk of A Charlie Brown Christmas takes place at the local auditorium, where
the Peanuts gang is getting ready to put on a Christmas play.
Charlie Brown is roped into the production after he tells Lucy about his holiday depression,
and she feels the play will help him get into the holiday spirit.
"Me?
You want me to be the director of the Christmas play?"
"Sure, Charlie Brown.
We need a director.
You need involvement."
Charlie Brown eagerly leaps into his role as director, but he can't seem to get anyone
to listen to him.
Perhaps more importantly, no one seems entirely clear on what play they're even putting on.
At one point, Lucy hands out scripts to various kids for roles like "innkeeper" and "shepherd."
Obviously, this suggests a Nativity play ... but then she also asks Snoopy:
"Can you be a sheep?
How 'bout a cow?
How 'bout a penguin?"
Quite the menagerie, all told.
To complicated matters further, Schroeder keeps trying to score the play with upbeat
jazz, and at one point, Lucy suggests herself for a plum-sounding role:
"What about the Christmas queen?
Hmm?"
So, is this some sort of highly conceptual, staunchly avant-garde Nativity play?
Is it a variety show?
Does anyone really know?
To our ears, it all sounds a tad bit unfocused.
A Charlie Brown Christmas begins by focusing on the titular character's own lack of satisfaction
with the holiday.
He tells Linus, in no uncertain terms:
"Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy.
I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel."
He also repeatedly complains that the holiday has grown too commercial.
His Scrooginess reaches dizzying new heights when he sees Snoopy putting up a bunch of
decorations on his doghouse.
That's when he realizes the beagle is decking the halls for a Christmas light contest that's
promising a cash prize.
"Oh no, my own dog gone commercial...
I can't stand it."
By the end of the special, we learn that Snoopy not only entered the contest, but managed
to win first place.
We admit that Snoopy's decorated doghouse looks very charming… but we have a few concerns.
He puts lights up all around the roof, hangs a theoretically festive chain or two, and
even tops it all off with a star.
There's nothing wrong with his decorations per se, but it ultimately amounts to little
more than a strand of lights and a couple of baubles hanging around a doghouse.
How did this doghouse win out over all those suburban properties?
Come to think of it, Charlie Brown's neighbors don't appear to have put in much of an effort.
Where's everyone's Christmas lights?
Apart from the ultra-commercial Christmas tree lot, it looks like people just weren't
feeling it that year.
Maybe Charlie Brown had every reason to be depressed.
When the Christmas play rehearsals don't seem to be working, Charlie Brown makes a passionate
plea:
"Look, Charlie Brown — what do you want?"
"The proper mood.
We need a Christmas tree!"
Lucy agrees and advises Charlie Brown to get a great big aluminum Christmas tree.
Charlie Brown and Linus subsequently head to the tree lot, where they ultimately decide
to take the scrawny real tree that remains one of the most famous parts of the show.
The whole point of the scene is that Charlie Brown picks this little twig of a tree, which
mirrors his own feelings about the season … but when you look around at the rest of
the lot, you may have some questions.
It's arranged like a traditional Christmas tree lot, but it soon becomes clear that the
tiny tree is the only real tree there.
The rest are made of aluminum.
"This really brings Christmas close to a person."
"Fantastic."
Setting aside the lack of real trees for a moment, let's ask the obvious question: Who's
selling aluminum Christmas trees outside where it's clearly been snowing?
Snow is wet, and the trees are made of delicate metal.
Surely that would have messed up the merchandise, no?
When Charlie Brown brings the tiny tree back from the lot and presents it to his friends,
they call him names and full-on laugh at him.
Then Linus makes a stirring speech, passionately quoting scripture in the hopes of emphasizing
the true meaning of Christmas.
That's when Charlie Brown decides to take the tree home.
He thinks he can convince everyone that they were wrong to make fun of the tree so long
as he can get the decorations right.
Charlie Brown gives up after the tree nearly breaks in half from the weight of just one
ornament, but then the other kids come along to help.
Linus wraps his blanket around the base, and the kids use all the decorations from Snoopy's
doghouse to fill out the rest of the tree.
By the time the kids are done decorating with all the lights and baubles, the tree looks
like it's grown about a dozen extra branches and a whole bunch of extra needles.
In fact, it looks like a completely different tree.
Is it a Christmastime miracle?
"What's going on here?"
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