How much weight i've lost am I dating anyone
Can you open up more about the depression you felt in college am I not friends with anymore?
Do you miss the east coast is your contiki trip going to be replanned? Hey, everyone
It's morgan yates and today i'm so excited because I am doing a q a which I have not done in a really long time
And I thought we'd spin it a little bit and do one of the answering questions
I've avoided answering we have some regular questions mixed in too
But there are some questions I have avoided generally I guess in the past
So today I thought let's touch on some of those because a lesson i've been learning in quarantine
It's how to open up. I asked you guys over on instagram to ask me questions
So make sure you're following me over there if you want to participate in a future q a as well as i've been getting back
Into daily vlogging over on my vlog channel. So feel free to check that out
If you would like to the first question here that I just want to get out of the way
I haven't been avoiding this question, but I guess I haven't touched on it on like instagram necessarily
but i've been getting so many dms not even really asking me if I had covid but accusing me of having coven because
My roommate adrian had it at this point
It's been like over a month. I was getting tested. I did not have it and I guess I just wanted to settle that because
there's someone out there who has made an instagram account one of the little burner accounts and
Has been damning my friends telling them that I have coronavirus. So I just thought we would squash that right here and now
Next up. I have received more questions more comments dms
You name it about this over the past several months. Just anything related to?
How much weight i've lost what i'm eating what i'm doing to work out and I feel like i've just completely avoided
that discussion for a couple of reasons if you're unaware if you haven't been following me for I would say
Like a couple of years because it's been a slow thing over time. I have lost
Some weight about like 20 pounds or so again
it has been a very slow thing over time that i've never commented on or addressed because
A I feel like looking back and I hate that I feel this way and no one should feel this way
And this is just like my own issues but in the spirit of honesty
my like first natural thought is to like be embarrassed about the fact that
In college towards in college and like post grad. I gained some weight
and it was just from
Living an unhealthy lifestyle. I wasn't working out consistently. I was drinking a lot traveling a lot like eating really unhealthily not really
Ever making any efforts to like, I don't know just make healthy choices when I would be traveling. I was treating every like trip
And everything like it was this like huge once in a lifetime vacation where I should just indulge to like the 100th degree
Basically, I just was not being healthy really in any ways at that point in my life
I was sleeping in super late, and I don't like that
I
like I have to correct these thoughts about like being embarrassed about like
What I looked like then but also just like the choices I was making and stuff i'm not proud of that. So
I don't like even acknowledging
that like we've gone from there to here because i'm like I feel like to a degree this like shame for
Like what I was like then which I don't like that I feel but you know, what whatever. That's the truth
Secondly, I have not addressed these questions because I really don't want to add to the pressure that
All of us girls. I know if you exist as a woman in the world
Then you have so many messages coming at you to make you feel inadequate and I feel like talking about weight weight loss
Like things like that. I don't know. I just feel like my spotlight that more
You know what?
I mean, I would never want to add to someone else feeling insecure
For like being a certain size really all I did was just over time shift from making really unhealthy choices
To making healthy choices. I prefer healthy food
I love how it makes me feel I really like working out
I love how it makes me feel i've talked about that in so many videos so it's not like i've been like over here like
Beating myself up trying to like look a certain way or like even reach some weight loss goal
I really just over time shifted into making lifestyle decisions that make me feel the best and the happiest and yeah
It's kind of an effortless thing when you do it that way. I guess I don't advise any kind of
Crash diet. I encourage you to move your body and exercise to feel good. Not in like a way of punishing yourself
I don't think you should feel bad for treating yourself with food. Trust me
I like to indulge. I love my fried chicken sandwiches. I love my desserts. I deserve it every single day
I've just learned a lot about living life and balance in a way. That makes me feel good. So that's really
All I will say about that another question
I got a lot and this kind of
Piggy backs off of that off of the last one and is again why I feel like I haven't really talked about this
Is some of you guys asking about how I am so confident honey. It depends on the day around here
What's ironic too?
Is that I feel like you know a couple of years ago
You know to some degree I feel like I was more confident then at the moment. I feel pretty confident
It goes in waves the irony of it. Is that as I started getting all these comments being like you look so good
Whatever. I feel like i've never felt so just like aware and critical of my body which just goes to show being a certain size
Doesn't make you feel a certain way
However, the moment I do feel really good and confident. I always strive for body neutrality and not even necessarily body positivity
i'm thankful for my body for
How strong it is for all the things it allows me to do for how it has taken me all over the world
You know has carried me through
All of my favorite memories and I just try to focus on those things and I try to focus on all the things
Like character wise and like things from within that i'm confident in and that I love about myself like my intelligence
I'm a very generous person
I'm, very loyal dependable so on days and I may not be feeling 100 about the external shell. I just focus on those things
But again how I feel about the external shell is a cycle at the moment. We feel pretty good. It literally depends on the day
Next up. I got a lot of questions about have I been on any dates since quarantine am I dating anyone?
Let me say now that going forward whoever I am dating it probably is going to be something I avoid
talking about that's just something I generally speaking want to keep private until I feel like something is steady and serious and like
I don't know reliable enough to like bring it into youtube
I've just seen friends have to deal with going through breakups and like that's hard enough and then having so many people
like ask you about it and then that just adding to like the pressure of it all so if I were in a relationship
I probably would not say however what I will say right now because it ended
I had been going on some dates for like five months with someone and that
Recently ended so that is that
Can you open up more about the depression you felt in college? You know what you've caught me on a good day. This is
I feel like it's easier for me to talk about that especially in like a helpful way. I guess if i'm having a bad day
weirdly if I feel like I have more
Perspective on like that time in my life right now. Things are feeling really light feeling really good
If you follow me on my vlog channel
You know that I have been having a time lately and I think we're out of that little funk. I
Hope so when I feel like this, it's very easy for me to like gloss over that time in my life
I don't want to seem really like dismissive of it
But that's just like I feel more
Detached from it I guess so what I will say right now back when I was a sophomore in college. I was just
going through
A little bump in the road is what?
Looking back it feels like but at the time
It felt like my entire life was just this hopeless thing. I could not see a single day in the future like
Sincerely, I did not see a day ever in my future where I was gonna be happy
I thought I was never gonna ever get a job. I was never gonna find anything. I liked to do like at that point. I
also
Just didn't know what I wanted to even major in really I was going through kind of like a crisis with like my life direction
Which is normal and fine. And basically I was just in this downward spiral
Of like just being so sad all the time not being able to motivate myself to like get out of bed
I wasn't really going to class although I was playing it off to everyone. I knew no one had a clue
um
which is the alarming part except for like a couple of friends that I like brought into it and they were
In there with me in the trenches in some dark times and then it got to the point where I wouldn't say I was ever
suicidal in terms of like I was never going to act on that at that point, but I
Wholeheartedly did not want to be alive anymore. Like I used to this is going to make me cry
I remember I prayed that god would just like
Take me
Like that's like how little hope I felt for my future, which I think if you are someone who's feeling this way right now first
Of all you're not alone
It's not your fault that you feel that way. I feel like that second one is the thing I needed to
hear the most especially because at that time I was so involved with like my
Church community campus ministry community in college and I feel like there's just such a or at least there
There was such a lack of conversation about like mental health and I was also caught in this place of like really equating like emotion
with my faith and like my
Relationship with god so how I had internalized it was like, all right
well
if I just
pray this more or if I
Could just believe this more I have more faith in this or whatever. Then I should feel joy, and I should feel this and whatever
I thought that the fact that I felt so sad was like a reflection of like me having like
No faith or like being a bad christian looking back
I it makes me so sad that I felt that way like those things were never true
but that added to this like extra layer of just like me feeling like a
Failure because I thought it was my fault that I felt that way faith or no faith aside
It is not your fault that you're feeling how you are. I recommend confiding in people that you really trust
um
and if it
Is I mean, it doesn't even have to get to a certain point to like qualify for needing to get help. I feel like for
me I was so
Just not down to like bring my family into it until it got to the point where it was like, all right
I literally don't want to be alive and I was like, I need to tell my family
and I did and then I went to a psychiatrist I to this day take
medication for this and I am pro medication
There should not be any stigma around that maybe what you need is therapy. I feel like especially in a time right now
a lot of what people are feeling at the moment is
Circumstantial but you never know you could have more of a mental illness
It could be helpful to talk through what you're feeling with
Someone have someone give you some tools and like new frameworks to think through your thoughts
also just on an encouragement level what that
Sophomore year experience taught me is that every feeling is temporary going through that made me even recently
Like when I was having my little rough time, it was not anywhere compared to sophomore year
Trust me what i've taken from that experience
is that I know now that any
Dark time that I go through is always going to be temporary and I know if you are like in the depths of feeling
Some type of dark way. I know that it can be really hard to believe that that's true for you
You can think it's true for everyone else. But I know how hard it is to like believe that you are ever going to feel
A different way than you're feeling at the moment i'm with you because I wholeheartedly felt that
all those years ago and let me just point you to my life and how I felt then how I thought
that there was my future was just going to be like the worst thing in the world and let's fast forward to
I graduated with a degree I was passionate about I do my dream job that I never thought I would be able to do
I have so many friendships and i'm so proud of I have so many people in my life who love me and I love
And i've been able to travel the world back then my sophomore year
Like the summer before that I was supposed to study abroad on this program and I was too scared to go
Too scared to not know anyone to scared to travel
That I cancelled it my parents really like paid for it and I didn't go I was just so scared of everything
At that time in my life
So insecure of like who I was didn't even know who I was and fast forward like all those fears I had are gone
i've stepped outside my comfort zone in every single way you can think of and
Now what used to be so scary like is my comfort zone. I
Just think that's a cool thing to be able to think back to like how if you would have told me
That this would be my life. I would have never believed you
So if I were to tell you what your life is gonna be like in one year two years five years ten years
You wouldn't believe it. Just keep going. Yeah, hang in there. It's temporary. That was really really long answer
I thought I wouldn't have anything helpful to say but hopefully that was helpful next
I got a lot of questions am I not friends with anymore?
If you know the name in that blank
Then you can understand the answer to this question. If you don't then you don't need to know it now. We're not friends anymore
We had a falling out. I think that's pretty clear. I don't wish any bad things for her
I don't think we will be close again. Still not going to dive into any details about what happened
Yeah, no ill will just not friends. Do you miss the east coast?
No, I don't think i'd ever move back when I say the east coast i'm from the south
so there's a lot I don't miss but what I do miss and what I love the most when i'm with like my friends from
College and things like that. I miss like just being so caught up in the little simple moments of life and just like
Soaking them in and like I know I feel like when i'm with college friends we can just be like sitting on a porch
Like we can just literally do nothing and it's like life is just like so sweet
You know what? I mean, and I feel like here not that I don't
Have that experience because I feel like I do take in like the little moments
Driving around like seeing palm trees like makes me want to tear up but I feel like generally speaking in a community aspect
You know, we don't have those like simple life-giving moments
You know what? I mean? I feel like it's always like what exciting thing
Can we do I miss I guess the hominess of just like being able to do
Nothing and like be really fulfilling if that makes sense
I don't know is your contiki trip going to be replant my travel with me trip if you're not aware
I was supposed to be hosting this trip with the group travel company contiki. I was so excited about it
It was going to be this mediterranean trip where you guys could book onto it and to like literally just go on a trip
That they were planning everything for that. I was going to be on too and we were going to get to go to coastal
italy south of france
Barcelona it was going to be the best time and then obviously all this happened
So it is going to be rescheduled. I have not really addressed that yet because i'm waiting for them to nail down dates for
Sometime next year that will be announced on instagram as soon as it is up and available
I'm hoping here in the next few weeks. We'll have dates for that
That way people can be able to save and book or pay it off or whatever
So I hope that next year things are in a place where we'd be able to do that and if heaven forbid
We can't like next summer. It's all refundable. Don't even worry about that. That is it for this video. I think it's long enough
Yeah, hopefully you got a little something out of it as I get back into uploading regularly on this channel. I
Would love any video requests that you guys have and yeah super thankful for all of you guys
Um who choose to watch my videos and support me. I mean that from the bottom of my heart and yeah
I hope all of you guys are doing well, and I will see you in my next video