(lively music)
- [Aziraphale] Oh! Good Lord.
- Look at you.
You're gorgeous.
(gentle music)
- You made it all yourself?
- Ah, well, I mean, more or less.
I wasn't, I wasn't,
I wasn't the original concept designer,
but I worked very closely with upstairs on it.
- Well, it's very pretty.
- Oh, thank you.
- And I think you've done an excellent job.
- Oh!
(Aziraphale and Crowley chuckling)
(cheerful music)
- Lost it already, have you?
- I gave it away.
- You what?
- I gave it away.
There are vicious animals.
It's going to be cold out there,
and she's expecting already,
and I said, "Here you go.
Flaming sword.
Don't thank me, and don't let the sun go down on you here."
I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing.
- Oh, you're an angel.
I don't think you can do the wrong thing.
- Oh, oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, it's been bothering me.
- Avaunt!
(triumphant music)
Ah!
(goats bleating)
It's you.
Dear me.
Haven't seen you since...
Flood?
- Oh, yeah.
- Well, sorry about this.
- No, of course.
(goats bleating)
(playful music)
(Aziraphale sighs)
- Oh, God.
Where was I?
- Avaunt. - Yes, yes!
Avaunt, foul demon!
Salutaria.
(cups clinking)
(patrons chattering)
- In Rome long?
- Just nipped in for a quick temptation.
You?
- Well, I thought I'd tried Patronius's new restaurant.
I hear he does remarkable things to oysters.
- I've never eaten an oyster.
- Oh, oh, let me tempt you to...
No, no, that's your job, isn't it?
- Our respective head offices
don't actually care how things get done.
They just want to know they can cross it off the list.
- But if Hell finds out, they won't just be angry.
They'll destroy you.
- Nobody ever has to know.
Toss you for Edinburgh.
(playful music)
- Fine, heads.
(coin clinking)
- Tails, I'm afraid.
You're going to Scotland.
- That was very kind of you, Crowley.
(Crowley growling)
You saved that young woman.
- Not kind!
Off my head on laudanum.
Not responsible for my actions.
- Will you get into trouble?
Well, they'll surely have noticed downstairs.
You just did a very good deed indeed.
- Trust me, if Hell noticed that little display,
I'd already been...
(groans) I'd already been...
(ground crackling)
(Crowley screaming)
- It'd take a miracle
to get anyone to come and see "Hamlet."
(playful music)
- Yes, alright, I'll do that one.
My treat.
- Oh, really?
- Still prefer the funny ones.
(playful music)
In about a minute, a German bomber will release a bomb
that will land right here.
If you'll run away very, very fast, you might not die.
You won't enjoy dying.
Definitely won't enjoy what comes after.
- You expect us to believe that?
The bombs tonight will fall on the east end.
- Yes.
It would take a last minute demonic intervention
to throw them off course.
- I hear that you're setting up a caper to rob a church.
Crowley, it's too dangerous.
Holy water won't just kill your body.
It will destroy you completely.
- You told me what you think 105 years ago.
- And I haven't changed my mind.
I can't have you risking your life,
not even for something dangerous, so...
(gentle music)
You can call off the robbery.
- You're all wasting your valuable running away time.
And if in 30 seconds a bomb does land here,
it would take a real miracle
for my friend and I to survive it.
- A real miracle?
- Kill them.
They're very irritating.
(bombs howling)
(bombs exploding)
(bomb howling)
(bomb exploding)
(gentle music)
- Should I say thank you?
- Better not.
- Can I drop you anywhere?
- No, thank you.
Oh, don't look so disappointed.
Perhaps one day we could, I don't know, go for a picnic.
Dine at the Ritz.
- I'll give you a lift, anywhere you wanna go.
(gentle music)
- You go too fast for me, Crowley.
(tense music)
- Fire!
(gun firing)
(tense music)
(bullet whistling)
(Crowley groaning)
- What the?
(bright music)
- That was very kind of you.
- Shut up!
- Well, it was.
No paperwork, for a start.
Oh, the books!
Oh, I forgot all the books!
Oh, they'll all be blown to...
(Crowley grunting)
- Little demonic miracle of my own.
Lift home?
(gentle music)
(audience applauding and cheering)
- [Aziraphale] Oh, thank you!
- No paperwork.
- Oh, thank you!
Thank you!
Look at the state of this coat!
I've kept this in tip-top condition for over 180 years now.
I'll never get this stain out.
- You can miracle it away.
- Hmm, yes, but, well,
I would always know the stain was there,
underneath, I mean.
(Crowley exhaling)
- Oh!
Thank you.
- Even if this all ends up in a puddle of burning goo,
we can go off together.
- Go off together?
Listen to yourself.
- How long have we been friends?
6,000 years.
- Friends? We're not friends.
We are an angel and a demon.
We have nothing whatsoever in common.
I don't even like you.
- You do!
- Even if I did know where the antichrist was,
I wouldn't tell you.
We're on the opposite sides!
- Lots of spare planets up there.
Nobody's even notice us.
- Crowley, you're being ridiculous.
Look, I'm quite sure if I can just reach the right people,
then I can get all this sorted out.
- There aren't any right people.
There's just God moving in mysterious ways
and not talking to any of us!
- Well, yes,
and that is why I'm going to have a work with the Almighty,
and then the Almighty will fix it.
- That won't happen.
You're so clever.
How can somebody as clever as you be so stupid?
- I forgive you.
- Where the Heaven are you, you idiot?
I can't find you!
Aziraphale, for God's...
For Satan's...
(screams) For somebody's sake, where are you?
(fire whooshing)
(sorrowful music)
(groans) You've gone!
Somebody killed my best friend!
Bastards!
All of you!
Aziraphale?
Are you in here?
- Good question.
Not certain.
Never done this before.
Can you hear me?
- Of course I can hear you.
- I'm afraid I've rather made a mess of things.
Did you go to Alpha Centauri?
- No, I changed my mind.
Stuff happened.
I lost my best friend.
(gentle music)
- I'm so sorry to hear it.
- You been together long?
- Who?
- You and your partner?
- Oh, no, no.
It's not like...
It's not like that.
- It certainly looks like that from here.
Oh, so you've just recently hooked up?
- No, you, you...
- You've got a husband or a boyfriend?
Is the bookseller your bit on the side?
- He's not my bit on the side!
He's far too pure of heart to be anybody's bit on the side.
He's just an angel I know.
- If you say so.
- Look, there's something wrong.
There is something really wrong.
- Well, perhaps you could tell me while we dance.
- You don't dance.
(cheerful music)
- You and Mr. Fell don't ever talk to each other.
We talk all the time.
We've been talking for millions of years.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I say something brilliant,
he says something unintentionally funny back.
It's great.
- You never say what you're really thinking.
I like to think none of this would have worked out
if you weren't at heart just a little bit a good person.
- And if you weren't, deep down,
just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing.
(gentle piano music)
Cheers.
(glasses clinking)
To the world.
- To the world.
(soft musical note)
(upbeat music)