In the unknown coastal town of Bob’s Burgers, there are a wide range of colorful characters.
From eccentric landlords and would-be bank robbers to struggling restaurateurs,
we get a view of what makes these characters tick.
But who is worthy of graduating with honors and who is worthy of wearing a dunce cap?
I’m and this is Bob’s Burgers Characters: Dumb to Brillaint
Before we get started though, we will only be covering only a certain number of minor
characters in the show, so characters like Gretchen or Randy will not be included.
We are also going to be taking into account the actions of the characters in the Bob’s
Burgers movie to help with this placement. All that out of the way, let’s get started.
Also, we will be mentioning some events from the Bob’s Burgers Movie for certain characters,
so consider this your spoiler alert if you haven't seen the movie yet.
For our bottom of the barrel entry, we have characters that are severely lacking
even basic common sense. These characters are the slow-witted.
Ok, we are cheating by including this guy, since he has only appeared in one episode so far. But
for our Gold Medal of Stupidity, we are awarding it to Sam, the owner of Wrap-Topia from season 8,
episode 16s episode ‘Are You There Bob? It’s Me, Birthday’. While following your dreams
is a quality to be admired, Sam definitely should rethink about owning a restaurant.
He acts surprised about basic food safety things, like not having rodent poop near one's food and
storing food at temperatures to make them safe to eat. And since Bob gets violently sick as
a result of eating a wrap from Sam’s shop and Sam not even aware that his food was the cause,
this restaurant owner’s lack of smarts is not only worrying but also dangerous.
Everyone’s least favorite man-child is up next, Jimmy Pesto. It is really surprising how this
jerk manages to stay afloat, with his horrible food and how is seen to treat some customers,
such as farting over the phone at them. We don’t blame Bob in the slightest for his negative
feelings towards Jimmy. Like we said, this guy is a man-child. Jimmy is constantly making things
difficult for the Belchers, such as stealing their Super Bowl commercial idea or writing BOBSUX on a
video game leaderboard. While Jimmy’s emotional immaturity is his biggest drawback and going
by how he conducts his business otherwise really doesn’t give Jimmy that many smart points either.
Sergeant Bosco is up next. Alright, let’s get this out of the way, Bosco is not good at his job,
at all. Yeah, he is able to track down a cyber criminal in the episode Boywatch but
it is pretty obvious what he is up to during his stakeout. When Mickey attempts robbing the bank,
Bosco unwisely tries to call his bluff by telling Mickey to shoot some of the hostages. Bosco even
reveals that he has shot people due to his own mother telling him to do so. Even in the Bob’s
Burgers Movie, Bosco makes the elementary mistakes of having all of the things that would identify
himself as a cop in plain view during a stakeout. We feel so sorry to be giving the next character
a ranking this low but Mickey is coming up next. If we were going to be robbed,
we would want it to be done by Mickey. This guy, despite his criminal ways, actually has a pretty
good heart. However, Mickey has been shown to be pretty incompent at whatever he tries.
With his initial attempt to rob a bank, Mickey straightup admits that he does not know what he is
doing and things really don’t get any better for him. Mickey later tries to tunnel his way through
the Blecher’s restaurant basement in order to try to rob the bank again, both thinking Bob and his
family would not notice and that he would not be convicted again. Thankfully Mickey has seemingly
abandoned his criminal ways for the most part but he is still not the brightest bulb of the bunch.
Might seem harsh to put a child next here, but as Jocelyn is a teen, you’d hope she would be on
par with most of her class but that just is not the case. A stereotypical Valley Girl, Jocelyn
is rarely shown to think for herself, instead going for whatever option presented to her is
‘popular’. When Jocelyn’s thought process is shown however, it doesn’t show her in a good light, like
thinking turning popsicles into juice was science and not knowing how a store map at a mall worked.
And because she is a follower more than anything, Jocelyn really does not think about some of the
situations she might be allowing herself to get talked into. Keep in mind though,
Jocelyn is still a child, so we are cutting her some slack and hope she wises up in the future.
For our next category, we are going through the halls of Wagstaff School and look at some of the
kids that attend, as well as some other characters who could benefit from some extra studying.
This category is the Students Just above her best friend,
we have the resident mean girl of Wagstaff, Tammy. Much like her best friend, Tammy is pretty much
only interested in being the Queen Bee amongst the other students. And while she is able
to manipulate others to her own desires, Tammy’s plans really are not that complex,
such as just ditching classes or having younger kids pretending to be her boyfriend.
And more often than not, the plans that Tammy does come up with end up barely succeeding or
else just totally falling apart. She is even shown to be easily fooled by Louise by being told that
a walkie-talkie was broken again right after she fixed it. Here is hoping both Tammy and Jocelyn
benefit from a couple more years at Wagstaff. Probably the nicest motorcycle gang leader and his
partner take this next spot Critter and Mudflap. Unlike most of the members of the One-Eyed Snakes,
both Critter and Medflap are seen to actually be friendly and decent people. Critter in particular
has the knowledge of how to convert a bummer car into a go-kart and rebuild motorcycles
from various parts. But both are shown to also to not have common sense at times,
like mentioning making drugs in front of children. While these two have a good relationship with
both each other and the Belchers, we also gotta say that Critter and Mudflap could put in a bit
more thought in some of their actions. Another Wagstaff student is coming up,
Jimmy Pesto Jr. Where Jimmy Jr is concerned, for the most part, he acts just like a normal student.
He is a bit of a narcissist though, placing high value on his own dancing skills and tends to get
extremely jealous of Tina at times when she expresses interest in another boy. That being said
however, Jimmy Jr does seem to do ok in school and really doesn’t have any particularly brilliant or
dumb moments to his name. He can be lazy at times and not want to put in the work
in projects at times, but really, which kid, and if we are honest with ourselves, adult, doesn’t
have moments like this? But credit to Jimmy Jr for being seemingly more intelligent than his father
and here is hoping things only continue to go well where Jimmy Jr’s development goes.
Much like Tammy and Joclyn, we are putting Jimmy Jr’s best friend in our next slot,
Zeke. Probably the most enthusiastic member out of the friend group, Zeke is seen to be kind of
a troubled kid, acting out at times but being a good person at heart. Like Jocelyn though, Zeke
sometimes is shown to be kind of only do whatever Jimmy Jr is interested in. However, after Bob has
him start cooking in the episode Bob and Deliver, Zeke discovers that he has a talent for cooking,
as Bob praises his soup as ‘perfect’. Zeke also has been known to have pretty good emotional
intelligence in certain situations, despite his young age. Regardless if Zeke continues to hone
his cooking skills for the future or not, we feel pretty comfortable that whatever path he takes,
Zeke will have the smarts to eventually succeed. Our first member of the Fischoeder family is next,
Felix. Shown to be extremely temperamental to the point of random emotional outbursts, Felix
has been living in his older brother's shadow his entire life and does anything he can to stand out.
His plans are always thought through though, often leading him to react violently when they fail. He
attempted to murder both Bob and his brother when his plans of selling off Wonder Wharf to
build condos failed, for example. In the Bob’s Burgers Movie, Felix, as well as Calvin,
believes an old carnival ride can help them flee the country by using it to travel underwater.
When you come right down to it, Felix is an opportunist but also either puts in minimal
effort or has the plans blow up in his face. The Wagstaff School guidance counselor,
Mr. Frond is next on our list. While Mr. Frond does seem to genuinely care about the kids that
attend Wagstaff, he is also shown to either be easily tricked or manipulated. To say that
Louise can often wrap Mr. Frond around her finger at times in order to get him to do what she wants
is a justified statement. Honestly though, Mr. Frond is his own worst enemy at times,
as his inflated ego often backfires while he thinks he is helping the students. Mr. Frond is
not the worst counselor out there but we feel like if he paid attention to the students of Wagstaff
more rather than focusing on methods that don’t work, he would absolutely learn a thing or two.
Finally we are arriving at the Belcher family, with Gene. Despite being the middle child who
are sometimes overlooked, Gene by far has the most enthusiasm compared to his sisters.
And while we admire Gene’s attitude, as well as his creativity, he also seems to be the Belcher
that gives things the least amount of thought at times. We are not calling Gene stupid though,
far from it. He is shown to be wise beyond his years in a lot of episodes and acts as a positive
influence on both his sisters and some of the other students
at Wagstaff. Like his mother though, Gene can be impulsive and his plans sometimes
cause trouble for either him or those around him. Right behind her son, we have the second Belcher
with the matriarch, Linda. It goes without saying, Linda loves her family and would do anything for
them. On the flip side of that coin, however, shows that Linda also is a spotlight hog at times.
During the episode Hawk and Chick, Linda tries to compete with Tina on who had the most lines
when dubbing the film and lives out her desire to be a cheerleader through Gene in the episode
Gene It On. She is also seen to sometimes lack common sense, like going on obvious private
property and not thinking of the potential consequences and trying to force herself
on others. Linda is a great wife and mother, and helps keep her family grounded, no doubt,
but we also think she could give some things more thought and not be as impulsive at times.
Friend of the Belchers and frequent customer at the restaurant, Teddy is next. To say that
Teddy is an unofficial member of the Belcher family is a pretty accurate statement. While
his attitude can be childish at times as well as ignorant, Teddy has a good head on his shoulders.
He takes his job at being a handyman seriously, such as going so far as to build a food kart from
scratch for Bob and Linda in the Bob’s Burgers Movie and being able to restore a boat by himself.
But, in addition to Teddy’s childish behavior now and then, he can be easily taken in. A perfect
example is Teddy refusing to take his money back after Tina admits to scamming him in the episode
Tweentrepreneurs. While Teddy does have his faults, the fact he is more than competent in
his work and more often than not is seen to think things through lands him a pretty solid spot here.
For our next couple of entries, these characters seem to both have a pretty good grasp on things,
as well as doing some pretty good critical thinking.
These characters are at the Top of the Class. To start off this category, we have the eldest
Belcher sibling, Tina. More often than not seen as the voice of reason for her siblings,
Tina is the sibling that seems to do the most critical thinking in situations. Rather
she is looking for a backdoor way to solve a problem or trying to discourage both other
kids and some adults from doing activities that could result in negative consequences.
Tina can be shortsighted about some things though, like believing watching thThe Sound of
Music would make her a perfect Julie Andrew-esque babysitter. But she is also highly perceptive
and even at tough times is willing to think things though, often leading to a positive end result.
And let’s keep the theme of oldest siblings being in this category with Calvin Fischoeder taking
this next spot. So, it kinda goes without saying, if your last name is Fischoeder, you are going to
be lacking morals. Luckily for Calvin though, and unluckily for pretty much everyone else, he makes
up for this with a pretty good amount of smarts. Unfortunately, he doesn’t use them in the best way
possible, such as constantly cutting corners in his business practices without being caught
and successfully running some other less than legal businesses. This can be attributed
to his cousin's help, from time to time. But Calvin was also able to help the Belcher kids
and their friends in an attempt of pulling a heist at Family Fun Time and knowing what was
needed to successfully pull it off. He does have a couple of drawbacks, but it is more likely for
this seedy landlord to succeed through his business knowledge, for better or worse.
Finally we have the patriarch of the Belcher family, Bob. Probably the unluckiest business
owner in the show, Bob has faced numerous setbacks throughout the series. But, even
though Linnda often helps keep him grounded, Bob has done his best to keep his restaurant afloat.
Bob’s emotional intelligence, coupled with his patience and acceptance of most people speaks
volumes about his character. Bob often tends to think most things through and does his best
to overcome whatever issue he faces. In the Bob’s Burgers Movie, after his family are buried alive,
Bob comes up with the idea that is able to free them. While Bob does get depressed now and then
to the numerous setbacks, Bob is known to do a fair amount of both out of the box
and critical thinking in order to work through the problem, either by himself or with help.
And finally we are going to be looking at the last two characters on our list.
These characters are the smartest of the bunch. These characters are Graduating with Honors.
First of the two people in this category, we have both the cousin and lawyer Felix and Calvin,
as well as the main villain of the Bob’s Burgers Movie, Grover Fishoeder. Alright,
it would be safe to assume that Grover has saved Calvin’s butt more than a few times in the past.
We don’t know if this was accidental or not however. We do know that Grover has been plotting
to try to get control of Wonder Wharf since 6 years ago, according to the Bob’s Burgers Movie,
by murdering Cotton Candy Dan and trying to implicate Calvin for it. And he does seem to be
several steps ahead of his more eccentric cousins in previous appearances in the show as well,
seen advising Felix and Calvin about business practices. Grover, despite what he claims in
his musical number in the movie, is a pretty dastardly person, but at least he knows his stuff.
And even though she is the one of the youngest characters in Bob’s Burgers,
we are giving the top prize in our list to the final member of the Belcher family,
Louise. Even though Louise is scheming on a regular basis to manipulate or trick others,
such as her siblings or Mr.Frond into her plans, Louise has also been shown to use her smarts for
good. Sure, much like Gene and Tina, Louise might not be the best Wagstaff student. But,
outside the classroom, Louise has been able to pull off schemes such as convincing an
aquarium owner to commit tax fraud and creating an underground casino in her family’s basement. The
crowning achievement to Louise’s name however comes from the Bob’s Burgers Movie where she is
able to solve the murder of Cotton Candy Dan. And keep in mind, Louise is only 9 years old during
all these events, and we have no doubt whatsoever that things will only improve for Louise.
With that, our class is concluded! Who do you think the smartest Bob’s Burgers characters are?
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