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WELCOME BACK FOR OUR
RELATIONSHIP REBOOT.
I LOVE THIS TOPIC.
I THINK A LOT OF US SET GOALS
FOR THE NEW YEAR.
IN ORDER TO HAVE A SOLID
RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYBODY WE
NEED TO BE RIGHT WITH
OURSELVES.
EXACTLY.
THAT'S SO IMPORTANT.
WE ARE OUTER DIRECTED.
DURING THE HOLIDAYS WE ALWAYS
THINK ABOUT OTHER THINGS.
I LIKE TO IDEA OF FOCUSING ON
OURSELVES AND HOW WE CHANGE
OURSELVES.
THAT'S THE IDEA OF WHERE A NEW
YEAR'S RESOLUTION CAME FROM
ANYWAY.
YOU BROKE THIS UP IN THREE
DIFFERENT DOMAINS.
THE FIRST IS THE SOCIAL AND
EMOTIONAL SPOT.
WE CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING.
BUT WE CAN CONTROL HOW WE REACT
AND HOW WE THINK ABOUT WHERE WE
ARE IN LIFE.
THINKING ABOUT DO I WANT TO BE
MORE GENEROUS OR MORE KIND?
DO I WANT TO BE MORE KIND TO
MYSELF.
WE KNOW, RESEARCH TELLS US IF
WE HAVE MORE COMPASSION FOR
OURSELVES THEN WE HAVE MORE
COMPASSION FOR OTHER PEOPLE.
THIS IS TRUE FOR FORGIVENESS,
AS WELL.
THIS IDEA OF FIGURING WHAT IS
THE KIND OF PERSON I WANT TO BE
MORE LIKE?
I WAS TELLING YOU THAT MY
WORD FOR 2018 IS GOING TO BE
SELF COMPASSION.
I WANT TO NOT BEAT MYSELF UP SO
MUCH.
WE ARE ALL GUILTY OF THAT.
IT WILL IMPROVE A LOT OF
RELATIONSHIPS.
TALK TO US ABOUT PHYSICAL.
PHYSICAL IS SOMETHING LIKE
TRYING TO EAT BETTER.
EATING MORE VEGETABLES FOR
DRINKING MORE WATER OR GETTING
MORE SLEEP AND EXERCISE.
SOMETIMES A LOT OF NEW YEARS
RESOLUTIONS TEND TO BE FOCUSED
ON THE PHYSICAL.
THERE IS A LOT OF CHANGE
INHERIT IN THE IDEA THAT WE ARE
GOING TO DO THIS, THIS AND
THIS.
THAT'S WHERE PEOPLE RUN INTO
TROUBLE.
IF THEY FEEL THEY ARE NOT
SUCCEEDING THEY HAVE LESS SELF
COMPASSION AND IT BECOMES A
DOWNWARD SPIRAL.
I LOVE THE IDEA OF MAKING A
RESOLUTION.
THE LAST AREA IS SPIRITUAL.
BY SPIRITUAL, I DON'T MEAN
RELIGIOUS NECESSARILY.
IF YOU FOLLOW A FAITH
TRADITION, CERTAINLY THAT'S
GREAT.
IF YOU DON'T, SPIRITUAL CAN BE
SECULAR.
THINK ABOUT WHAT IS A GOOD WE
CAN DO FOR OTHER PEOPLE?
THIS IDEA, WE KNOW IT IS ALMOST
LIKE A GENE WHEN WE DO
SOMETHING GOOD FOR OTHERS WE
OFTEN FEEL
BETTER OURSELVES.
IT IS LIKE SPENDING A DAY AT A
FOOD BANK OR WORKING WITH
HOMELESS FAMILIES.
IT IS ABOUT GIVING TO
OTHERS.
CAN YOU GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF
WHAT THE RESOLUTION LOOKS LIKE
FOR PEOPLE?
IF YOU FOLLOW A FAITH
TRADITION, MANY OF THE GREAT
FAITH TRADITIONS TALK ABOUT
JUSTICE AND MERCY AND LOVE AND
KINDNESS.
IF YOU SAY TO YOURSELF, A LOT
OF THESE CAN BE WOVEN TOGETHER,
IF YOU SAY HERE'S HOW I WANT TO
ACT TOWARDS ALL.
IT CAN BE A HELPFUL WAY OF
THINKING ABOUT IT.
THE OTHER THING IS TO SAY THING
LIKE I'M GOING TO FIND A FOOD
BANK WHERE I CAN VOLUNTEER.
MAKE IT DOABLE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO EVERY
WEEKEND.
IF YOU SAY I'M GOING TO TRY
THIS VOLUNTEER THING I HAVE NOT
DONE.
IT WILL GIVE YOU A BOOST
TOWARDS FEELING LIKE YOU ARE
CREATING A BETTER WORLD.
WE COVERED A LOT OF GROUND
NOW.
IF THIS IS OVERWHELMING FOR
PEOPLE, YOU WANT TO BE
SUCCESSFUL YOU DON'T WANT TO
OVERACHIEVE IN YOUR GOALS, WHAT
DO YOU RECOMMEND?
IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE
LEANING IN, JUST LEAN OUT.
TAKE A BREAK.
PICK ONE SMALL THING.
THERE IS A LOT OF LITERATURE
OUT THERE ABOUT GOALS BEING
CLEARED
AND DEFINED.
THAT'S GREAT.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I THINK
THERE IS SOMETHING IMPORTANT
ABOUT LOOKING AT OUR CHANGE AS
A JOURNEY.
WE KEEP TRYING.
TRY TO GET TO THE GYM MORE
OFTEN AND TRY TO BE MORE KIND
AND SELF COMPASSIONATE.
THAT'S HOW WE'LL EFFECT CHANGE
IN YOUR LIVES.
TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME AND
DO THE BEST WE CAN.