Mick Foley finally gets fired!
The Undertaker gets speared by Roman Reigns!
And TINASHE IS GOING TO SING AT WRESTLEMANIA 33!
I don’t know who that is.
I’m Oli Davis, and this is the 20th March 2017 edition of Monday Night Raw...in about
4 minutes.
Mick Foley No More Mick Foley opened the show announcing his
leave of absence effective immediately, reading a prepared statement from some index cards.
But then good gawd almighty, he broke those index cards in half!
Ripping the statement into shreds, Foley began to cut an impassioned promo, but his microphone
was cut off.
And then Stephanie McMahon came down to cut him off.
He was fired, she fired him.
Then Sami Zayn of all people came down to defend Mick, which transitioned into a decent
match against Samoa Joe.
Sami tapped to the Coquina Clutch, hopefully positioning underdog babyface Sami as the
next thorn in the Authority’s side.
That, or Foley just passed him the ‘Stephanie’s going to bury you every week’ torch.
Charlotte beat Dana Brooke Dana Brooke got a fair amount of offence in,
losing to Charlotte.
Unfortunately, the offence didn’t look any good.
This was a sloppy, lacklustre payoff to a very long, half-cooked story.
Chris Jericho Reveals The “Real” Kevin Owens
Chris Jericho cut a great promo on the ‘real’ Kevin Owens, with the lively Brooklyn crowd
hanging on his every word.
Until he showed a picture of “16 year old nerd Kevin Owens in a Y2J shirt.”
It’s difficult to be on Y2J’s side there, because that’s us.
That’s all the adult viewers of Raw.
Know your audience.
Jericho was just about to write down Owens’ name, when KO beat him down, getting some
great heat, and then ripped up the list.
Jericho’s ability to get over inanimate objects knows no equal.
Brian Kendrick beat TJ Perkins Brian Kendrick beat TJ Perkins in just over
a minute.
A real waste of a match.
Goldberg & Brock Lesnar Video Package WWE put together two excellent video packages
charting Goldberg and Brock Lesnar’s long-running feud.
They’ll be going face-to-face in next week’s go-home show.
Nia Jax beat Bayley Without her Mick Foley filter, Stephanie McMahon
went full evil, making us sit through a rematch of Bayley vs Nia Jax.
If Nia won, she’d be added to the Raw Women’s Championship match at Wrestlemania.
The crowd were audibly bored for this fight, which Nia eventually won.
That makes it a Fatal 4 Way for the title, just as was first reported back in January.
Seth Rollins’ Kayfabe Return Status Dr Kevin Wilk revealed that it’ll be several
months before Seth Rollins can wrestle again after Triple H re-aggravated his knee injury
last week.
He wouldn’t be cleared in time for Wrestlemania.
Later on, in a sit down, in-ring promo with Michael Cole, The Game found a way around
this - turn up on next week’s show, Rollins, and we’ll sign a contract to make it an
unsanctioned match; meaning Seth can’t sue when he gets even more injured.
This was the standard 5 minutes of great promo in 10 minutes of segment for Triple H. The
unsanctioned idea is a clever workaround, but it should’ve been the noble, fighting
spirit babyface Seth Rollins making the challenge - screaming for the match because that’s
all he’s got left.
But then Triple H wouldn’t get to talk as much.
Sheamaro beat Galanderson and Enzo & Big Cass What a waste of a match and a lamely confusing
angle.
The team of Galanderson, Enzo and Cass took on Sheamus and Cesaro, with the latter’s
Wrestlemania place at stake.
After a hot homecoming promo from Enzo and Cass, Galanderson beat them down - their own
team mates - after which Karl Anderson was quickly taken out and pinned by Sheamus and
Cesaro.
The match was less than a minute, and utterly stupid.
New Day Hides Rather wisely considering Xavier Woods’
recently leaked sextape, Wrestlemania hosts The New Day were kept backstage for their
weekly segment.
There was a very brief reference at the start, where Big E asked Woods if there’s anything
he needed to tell them about.
Austin Aries beat Tony Nese Austin Aries did his best to get the crowd
into his match against Tony Nese, but third hour fatigue and Cruiserweight preconditioning
was too much to overcome.
Neville came out for a brief promo battle afterwards.
Braun Strowman beat Roman Reigns Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns was effectively
built throughout the night with clips of their feud from the last several months.
The two worked really well together as usual, but it was all a setup for the sudden appearance
of The Undertaker.
He chokeslammed a ready-to-pounce Braun Strowman, but in so doing - through a great piece of
grimace face acting - realised he turned his back on the real threat.
He turned back around straight into a spear.
As Reigns walked out of his yard, The Undertaker did his trademark sit up.
It was a very good angle.
Imagine how much better it would be if the crowd actually liked Roman.
So that was this week’s Raw in about four minutes.
Here’s the usual ratings recap, from top to bottom - In Awe, Cor, AVERAWGE, Poor and
Bore.
This week’s Raw is AvRAWge.
Two weeks before Wrestlemania and we got a few good segments - Jericho’s ‘Real’
Kevin Owens expose, Triple H challenging Seth and Mick Foley getting fired - amongst a whole
load of recaps.
The video packages were great, but the night felt overstuffed with them, from the Reigns/Strowman
feud promos, Lesnar and Goldberg’s recap and the two separate replays of what happened
to Rollins last week.
But there’s another, more asinine recap trick that Raw won’t stop leaning on: the
same matches over and over again.
Reigns vs Braun, Sami vs Joe, Kendrick vs Perkins, Sheamaro, Galanderson, Enzo and Cass.
The divisions need more than just the same couple of acts
What did you all think?
Let me know in the comments down below, and make sure to vote in the poll above my head
to give it your own rating.
I’ll announce the results on tomorrow’s WrestleTalk News.
Roman Reigns might not be on Raw much longer.
And Paige and Xavier Woods have found themselves in a leaked sex tape scandal.
Learn more by clicking the videos to the left, and press subscribe.
I’ve been Oli Davis and that was wrestling.