- Okay, what do you remember about the first time we met?
- I remember I was
I was locked up
and your mother brought you in.
- It's okay.
- Excuse me.
(Matthew clears throat)
You were this beautiful little baby
and I couldn't touch you because you were behind the glass.
- What do you feel you're missing out on
in our current relationship?
- I think we, when we do talk it's,
I don't want to say desperate but we like,
it's big stuff, it's like big important life stuff
and advice and everything but I miss out on
little funny moments like this, when we're just hanging out.
(Ciana laughs) (Matthew laughs)
- Yeah this is really cool.
- Yeah.
What's the biggest sacrifice you've made
that you think I take for granted?
- You don't take anything for granted.
You don't.
Sacrifices I've made are all
basically for
myself, I just, I basically just tried to sacrifice
any way that I've lived in the past
to try to become a better person.
Anything, I've just let go of everything.
I guess I could say I reached out and reached out but
you know, and I tried to become a part.
Could I have tried more, yeah.
- I don't think it was your fault
that I wasn't in your life.
I was just young and
confused I think.
You said
that you, when I was born that you thought
that I would be your savior
and I think I didn't know that when I was a kid.
Like I didn't really understand who you were
and why you cared so much about me so
I think I was just a little put off at first
but it wasn't any fault on you.
I think you tried really hard.
You just kept like forcing me (Matthew laughs)
back into your life and I'm glad you did now.
There was something I wanted to tell you.
When Pop Pop died, my (mic warbles)
got up and spoke at the funeral
and she said that, I told you she just had a baby,
she said that the last time she saw him
she brought the baby to visit him
and Pop Pop kept asking to hold the baby
and the baby would cry and then so she'd take her back
and Pop Pop wouldn't be like, "No, give her back.
"I want to do it again."
And it kept going on like that.
She would give it to him, baby would cry, she's take it back
and then Pop Pop said,
"I want her to know me and be comfortable with me."
And eventually she calmed down
and it just, when she said that
it reminded me so much of our relationship as a kid
and it just like,
really opened my eyes.
- I think sometimes I may have been too honest.
I told you I would never lie to you
so every time you asked me something I would tell you.
- What do you mean? - You asked me
when you were like five where I was.
- Oh, well...
- And I told you.
- That's-- - I told you where I had been.
- I mean, I didn't judge you for that.
- I didn't know, I'm just...
- Yeah.
- You know, I didn't know.
What is the last time,
when is the last time I disappointed you
and how do you feel about it now?
- Christmas.
It's kind of funny to look back on now though.
But, it was just ridiculous, in the moment.
Why did, why did you
get in a fight with (mic warbles)?
- He told me I didn't deserve to be your father.
- I didn't know that.
What is the biggest challenge in our relationship?
- Now,
our biggest challenge is the distance between us.
- Yeah.
- But there's so much technology now
that I'm still obviously
getting familiar with
where we can talk and I can still see you
and communicate but I know you have
goals and accomplishments that you want to achieve so
all I can do is try to be there any way I can
and I will, I will.
- I'll try to answer more often.
- I hope so.
Or even the text,
like answer the text. (Ciana laughs)
- I answer your text. - Answer the texts.
- I don't answer anybody's text.
Okay (laughs). - Oh no you didn't.
Do your best impression of me.
- It would be a voicemail.
You'd be like, "Ciana Monet, why aren't you answering me?
"Get in your car and drive down here right now.
"I'm gonna beat your biscuits."
- That's a pretty good impression.
- Yeah, but with more of an accent.
- Well this, I have to do this too, of you.
- Oh okay.
- So,
(laughs)
yours will be, "Dad."
- What is that? (laughs)
- "I can't do that."
- Drive 13 hours in a day.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- You should be able to do stuff like that.
- Okay.
How do you think we are similar
and how do you think we're different?
- We're very similar 'cause you're really intelligent,
so talented. - Oh my gosh.
- So talented in so many ways.
You have no problem with
anything that you're passionate about.
You don't care who it is, you'll tell, you know.
And that's how I am.
I'm the same way, when I feel a certain way about something,
I'll fight to the death for it.
You're that same type of person.
You have the same qualities, it's amazing
'cause I haven't been there
and to see all the qualities that you have
that I've just am learning myself that I possess.
And to get to see them inside you
without even being a part
of you, is incredible.
- I think we have the same sense of humor too.
- We definitely have the same sense of humor as well.
- Okay, how do you think we're different?
- Everything that's different about you from me, is great.
You've come out perfect and I tell people all the time,
when I picture, when I speak of you
and I say, when you picture the perfect child in your head,
it's you, and that's the truth.
That is the truth.
All the way around the board, you're, it's amazing.
You're amazing.
When were you proudest of me?
- After you moved to Florida.
I think, I don't know what I was doing
but I looked at my phone
and there was all these messages from you
of like, so many pictures of just bugs and lizards
and it was just (laughs). (Matthew laughs)
It was just really funny to see.
I don't know, I think when I looked at it I was like,
dad, but it was funny 'cause it was like,
a typical dad moment, like you had finally gotten there.
You were like, I don't know, just a happy dad in Florida.
It was really cool to see that, you know?
Does that make any sense?
- Yeah, it does.
- You just, you looked so happy.
And it made me happy to see you at that place finally.
- I'm happy now. (Ciana laughs)
- Yeah? - Mmm hmm.
- Good. - Extremely happy.
- I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you sooner
how much you mean to me.
- I'm really sorry I couldn't stop.
- I forgive you.
It's all in the past now.
What was your greatest life lesson?
The most important thing you've learned
that you want me to know.
- I talked to this guy
when Pop Pop was just visiting me
and he was in this wheelchair
and
he was trying to get to where he was going but he couldn't
so I went over and I pushed him over to the
place he wanted to eat.
And
I asked him, what's your greatest life lesson?
'Cause I wanted to know.
He was a lot older and I just like to know those things.
And he said, "All the outside things
"and all the stuff that men do
"are unimportant."
That's basically what he told me
and I know that to be the truth.
It took me this long to find
my connection with God
and that is the most important.
I use to try to fix everything out here
and now I just try to fix what's in here
and out here automatically fixes itself.
So if you stay focused on your heart and God,
everything will happen.
What are you hesitant to tell me?
- I don't know.
I used to be hesitant to tell you I loved you
but now, I don't know.
There's not really
anything that I'm holding back, I don't think.
- Okay.
- What do you love the most about me?
- There's too many things.
Your character, your passion, your drive,
your talent, your beauty,
your intelligence,
your ethic,
your orientation
as far as family goes. - You gotta pick one.
- I mean all of it, you're the, I'm telling you.
I'm serious when I say this.
You're the complete package of a great person.
360 degrees.
I hope you understand I'm not just telling you that.
And I mean that.