Your coworker chooses the big presentation to
point out your mistake in front of everyone.
What do you do?
Complain about them to colleagues,
"She is such a b..."
Get a voodoo doll and cast a curse,
"Take that!!!"
Or go and complain to your boss every time that it
happens. To me, those are not the best approaches.
But in today's video, we are going to talk about
how to deal with coworkers who are trying to make
you look bad, you know, in a way that makes them
stop doing it.
Hello, my friends. Welcome back. I am so happy
that you are here to chat with me today. If we
haven't met yet. My name is Jennifer and I am your
new career bestie.
Around here we talk about career success
navigating toxic workplace situations, dealing
with the office politics, all that kind of stuff.
If you're like, Yes, I need more of that in my
life, tap the subscription button and the
notification bell.
Also, I hang out on LinkedIn every single day. And
I'm doing my best to show up on Instagram daily as
well. So if you want to go and follow me in those
places, I will leave the links in the description
bar down below.
So how do you deal with a co worker who's making
you look bad without looking bad? Well, first of
all, you're gonna start with a reality check. Are
they actually making you look bad? Like I get it,
they are trying to make you look bad. But are they
succeeding in their mission to make you look bad,
perhaps their efforts are futile. And the real
issue is that their efforts to make you look bad,
are making you feel bad. And you know what it
really sucks when you have a co worker who does
try to make you look bad, makes you feel insecure
about the work that you're doing, or just tries to
shame you about mistakes that you've made or
something like that, especially when they're doing
it in front of other people, it's really not cool.
But if they're not actually accomplishing their
objective of making you look bad in those
situations, then really, they're just making
themselves look bad, which we're going to come
back to in a few minutes. However, there are going
to be instances where your coworker is trying to
make you look bad, and they're succeeding in those
situations, the first thing that you need to do is
to evaluate the scope of impact. So who are they
making look bad to what belief like what are they
making you look bad about? Is this something that
actually matters? Is this something that is going
to show up in your performance review. Or if
you're being considered for a promotion, we really
need to look at how they're making you look bad,
and what the potential perception implications
could be to other people, the TLDR version of that
is there's a fly in here.
The TLDR version of that is, are they actually
making you look bad in a way that matters, and to
people that opinion whose opinions matter. In
addition to that situation. Another thing that a
co worker can do to make you look bad, is just
doing general damage to your professional
reputation or your personal brand at work. In that
case, the same evaluation still applies either way
that they're making you look bad. If you take a
look at the situation and think yeah, this is
probably going to have an impact on my career, my
relationship with my boss, how I'm perceived by
leadership, then you need to move into the next
step. And that is to assume ignorance, and not bad
intent. For those of you who hang with me often,
let me know in the comments if you spotted that
one coming from a mile away, here's the thing
about dealing with humans, when you assume the
worst about them, you are going to get the worst
of them. People have a tendency to either live up
to your expectations, or down to your
expectations. So really who they are is framed by
the expectations that you have for them. And let's
be honest, most people are not, in fact, holes,
they're humans trying to be good humans, it just
doesn't always go the way that they intended. And
really what most people lack is self awareness and
how their actions are impacting other people. And
the perceptions of both themselves and those
people around them. What I'm saying is in the vast
majority of these situations, it is much safer to
assume that someone just isn't very smart, versus
them diabolically plotting against you, which
honestly is much more interesting. And my llama d
ama kinda likes that. But in most situations, it
really is typically that they just really ar
n't thinking about the consequences of their ac
ions and behaviors. And I genuinely believe th
t in these situations, most people are trying to
do good work and they are trying to help you. Th
y're trying to create positive outcomes for the te
m and for the company. And it's just their way of
doing it doesn't really look good for them. And so
etimes for you. That isn't to say that no one ha
bad intentions, when they're trying to make yo
look bad at work. Some people, especially to
ic co workers, insecure co workers, all of th
se flavors and varieties that we talk a lot ab
ut on my channel, they just might actually be ab
e to get Yeah, and in those cases before you re
ct, you need to make sure that you are not un
er estimating the perception of other people. Ok
y, I know that I just said that most people ar
n't that smart. But we do want to give them mo
e credit than that. And I do think that most pe
ple observe when people are being a little bit sa
ty to their co workers, and maybe trying to ma
e people look bad. And I think that in many ci
cumstances, that the person who's trying to ma
e you look bad, ends up looking a lot worse th
n the situation, especially in the corporate wo
ld, the politically savvy are able to spot the tr
cks because they might have pulled a few of th
m themselves or been on the receiving side of th
s, like you are when your coworker is trying to ma
e you look bad at work, it might all really ba
kfire on them, because them throwing you under th
bus, like they just did is actually making th
m really look bad. And it's damaging their own pr
fessional reputation, and leaving yours intact. Bu
it is important to know that in these si
uations, those people are also going to be ob
erving your reaction to your coworker who is tr
ing to make you look bad, are you maintaining ca
mness and professionalism who you are in this si
uation, especially when someone notices is go
ng to speak volumes to you. And this is a great wa
to earn respect and esteem from co workers who se
exactly what is going on. So is it good that yo
're in a situation where you have a bad co
orker who's trying to make you look bad? Of co
rse not. But if there can be a silver lining on th
cloud, we are going to take it and make the dr
ma worth the while ultimately, especially if yo
're someone who is trying to cultivate career su
cess, and maybe advancing your career being the bi
ger person in these situations
really matters. So doing things like not reacting
in the situation not sitting in stewing and
disengaging and implementing the next step, which
is to actually confront them about it. If you've
been hanging around here for a while you know that
I am not a fan of public confrontations at work, I
don't think that people need to be called out and
shamed in front of the entire team or multiple
people in your organization. And again, working
from the assumption that they didn't really know
what they were doing. We want to be as discreet
and professional about this is possible. And I
know that this confrontation can be kind of scary,
I have a video on how to deal with conflict. And
you should absolutely check this out if this is
something that is making you nervous. But
typically, when you have a co worker who is trying
to make you look bad, you can kind of guide them
in the most simple way in a private conversation,
a one on one meeting, or if you really need to
using a dam. But I do recommend having a human to
human conversation here. Ask them about the
situation and what their goal was in that moment.
For example, this could look a little something
like this, when you contradicted the customer
sentiment about the project and the meaning. It
kind of threw me off and I wasn't really expecting
it. I'm just curious what your goal was you, my
friend are not a human doormat and approaching
them in a non defensive way you don't want to
throw up accusations you don't want to be again
shaming them is going to just point out to that co
worker who's trying to make you look bad, that
you're not going to stand for it. In most cases,
what you're trying to do when you are confronting
them about them trying to make you look bad is
that they did it in the first place. Because again
throwing back most don't really think about their
actions. And for those that were intentionally
trying to throw you under a bus and make you look
like you don't know what you're doing, it's going
to show them that you're not going to stand for
it. And they should think twice before they do it
again. That's sad when you're dealing with a real
corporate chat. This still might not be enough.
And Chad's gonna chat if you know what I mean. And
in that case, you need to move into the next step,
which is to own your awesomeness and create an
ignorable impact, ideally with a paper trail
honestly, and I don't know maybe you guys are
getting sick of me saying this. But the best way
to make yourself impervious to this kind of co
worker drama at work, and people making you look
bad is to make your awesomeness known when it's a
fact no one can deny it when your coworker is
trying to make you look bad. If the people in the
meeting or in the vicinity know who you are, know
the impacts that you make. I know how awesome you
are. Well, it's gonna be really hard for that co
worker to effectively make you look bad. There's
just no argument and this is why it's so important
to know and own your unique awesomeness quotient,
your UAQ. If you haven't already downloaded my
free UAQ Starter Kit go and do so right now, this
is going to give you the foundation to start
standing out at work and really cut the BS when it
comes to someone making you look bad. I'll leave
the link to snag it in the description down below.
And honestly my friends this is something that we
need to talk about a lot more around here. When
your potential and your awesomeness is known and
demonstrated. People really see the tremendous
value and impact that you have within the team and
within the organization and perceived limitation,
weakness, anything like that, that your coworker
is throwing you under the bus for is it really
going to matter if you are deemed to have high
potential, a lot of those little things and little
dramas are actually going to really not matter and
not register, especially with the people that have
the potential to move your career forward, so you
might get sick of it. I'm gonna keep on saying
this, however, you do still have to deal with this
coworker who's trying to make you look bad. And if
all of these steps haven't worked, there's another
thing that you need to do. And that is to minimize
and mitigate, like any other toxic co worker who
just can't take the hint, find ways to avoid them
as much as possible. I know that it's not always
achievable, they might sit right next to you, they
may work on all of the same projects, and they're
in all of the same meetings. So I'm not saying
that this is fully achievable in every instance.
But set boundaries, try to find ways to minimize
their contact. And when you do have contact with
them, mitigate the risk by making sure that there
is documentation or witnesses, emails, instant
messages, taking notes, having meetings like
bringing other people into the conversation, not
frivolously because no one needs more meetings
like that. But where it is appropriate, make sure
that you're not in these situations that they can
potentially take what occurs to throw you under
the bus and try to make you look bad in the
future. And really, what you're doing here is
you're dealing with them like any other toxic co
worker, because someone who continues try to try
to make you look bad, kind of is a toxic co worker
are they and if that is who you're up against, I
want you to go and watch this video right now to
help you learn how to deal with a toxic co worker.
But before you go, if this video helps you figure
out how to deal with someone who's trying to make
you look bad at work, give this video a thumbs up
it really helps my channel and it makes you my
favorite career. bestie as always, my friend thank
you so much for watching. I will see you in the
next video. Bye for now.