-Our next guest will be
performing her solo show,
"Imagine I'm Someone Else,"
at Union Hall in New York City November 2nd.
Please welcome the very funny Isabel Hagen.
[ Cheering, whistling, and applause ]
[ The Roots playing bright funk ]
♪♪
-Thank you.
Thank you so much!
Oh, it is so good to be back in New York.
I just did a show in a small town in Missouri
and they had me at a hotel
and at the hotel,
there was a poster of me in the elevator.
And I'm not famous... [ Laughter ]
...so, to other people, it just kind of looked
like I put it there.
[ Laughter ]
And so, anytime I got on the elevator,
I just to pray no one else would be on
with me and my dumb poster.
[ Laughter ]
And I got on the first day
and there were two people,
so I quickly like stepped back
to kind of block it with my body.
But I missed and I just sort of stood next to it.
[ Laughter ]
The saddest showing off.
"Look familiar?" [ Nervous laugh ]
[ Laughter ]
But I flew home from Missouri and there was a kid behind me
who cried the whole flight.
[ Awws ] Yeah, not a baby, a child.
[ Laughter ]
He knew what he was doing. Oh.
[ Laughter ] But about two hours in,
he spoke amongst the crying
and he was British.
And I was like, "Oh.
[ Laughter ] All is forgiven.
[ Laughter and applause ]
That's adorable."
[ English accent ] Mummy, you let me watch the telly.
[ Laughter ]
Let him watch the telly.
[ Laughter ]
He's clearly a genius...
[ Laughter ]
...and very charming. [ Laughter ]
That's why I couldn't have like a British boyfriend, you know.
I'd let him treat me like crap.
[ Laughter ]
[ English accent ] I've cheated on you.
"Say it again."
[ Laughter and applause ]
So, I'm a comedian and I also am a classical musician.
I play the viola.
[ Cheering and applause ] Yeah, alright, yeah.
I live a bit of a double life
and I still play viola gigs around New York City.
And I have a boyfriend now, but in the past,
I have gone home with a guy after a viola gig.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, I do very well, alright?
[ Laughter ]
No. The worst part about it is just the next morning,
doing the walk of shame
with the viola, you know?
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
I get in my head. I'm like,
"Oh, if I had a guitar, that'd be cooler."
[ Laughter ]
People would see me, they're like, "Oh, she's cool.
This chick's in a band.
Of course she got some action."
[ Laughter ] With the viola, it's just like,
Oh, little Miss Goody-Goody
got laid after the symphony concert.
[ Laughter and applause ]
What a nerdy whore."
[ Laughter and applause ]
So, I do comedy and I play viola
and people ask me sometimes like,
"Oh, do you ever combine the two in your act?"
And I usually say no because I'm not a hack.
But, uh --
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheering, whistling, and applause ]
But enough people have asked, so I've decided to humor them.
So, if you don't mind, I'm going to play a little viola
and then do a little standup
and we'll see how it goes together, alright?
[ Cheering and applause ]
Little viola, little standup.
[ Laughter ]
[ Playing upbeat tune ]
♪♪
My boyfriend and I are thinking of having a threesome.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheering and applause ]
The good news is we're both down for the threesome.
That's the good news.
The bad news is he, of course, imagines it like him,
another girl, me.
I imagine it me, another guy,
another girl.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Playing somber tune ]
♪♪
-Whoo!
-My friend asked me how I stay so skinny
and I don't know what to tell her.
For me, it's just genetics, you know, like my grandma
also starves herself.
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Playing jaunty tune ]
♪♪
I deal with a lot of negative self-talk
[ Laughter ] and my therapist was like,
"Well, try talking to yourself the way you would a good friend.
You wouldn't say all those mean things to her."
I'm like, "Yeah, not to her face."
[ Laughter and applause ]
[ Cheering ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Playing jaunty tune ]
♪♪
[ Whistling, cheering, and applause ]
My boyfriend wants to settle down and I'm like,
"Look, buddy, I got a lot of things I want to do
before I settle down, you know?
Like find the right person."
[ Laughter and applause ]
I've been Isabel Hagen. Thank you so much.
[ The Roots playing upbeat funk ]
[ Whistling ] -Come on, buddy!
[Indistinct]
♪♪
Isabel Hagen!
[ Cheering, whistling, and applause ]
Isabel will be at Union Hall in New York City November 2nd.
We'll be right back, everybody.