Welcome back.
'What do you want now?'
Unbelievably we have never reviewed a Roger Corman film in my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
Well that’s about to change and where better to start than...
Now I know what you’re thinking but with a ropey 50 year old print hiding the stitches, the guys in leech suits could looks worse.
'I ain't never seen nothing like it.'
And Corman is at least up front about them having arms.
‘Had regular arms on it like a man’
Like a man?
‘But sorta different looking’
Yeah, I’d say ‘sorta different looking’ covers it.
So, obviously, the leeches are ridiculous, and the knee-jerk, anti-science explanation for them doesn’t help.
‘Maybe the proximity of cape Canaveral has something to do with it’
Yes that would certainly explain all the giant astronauts you see around.
'Do you really believe that?'
But actually this isn’t the least credible part of the plot.
‘You’re my wife’
Say what?
‘You're my wife’
Okay giant leeches are one thing, but this I just don’t believe.
'I just can't see a real woman like you with a tub or lard like him.'
It’s not the men in leech suits who ruin this movie, it’s not even the ‘all science is bad’ plot,
it’s the taut domestic dramas in between.
played out by characters who aspire to being one dimensional.
‘I’m dead'
That would explain a lot.
'These people aren't like other folks'
But by far the worst thing in the movie is our hero Steve,
seen here comforting a woman, by shoving a gun in her face.
'Put down that gun before I get mad and make you eat it!'
Steve’s scientist father in law guesses that the recent disappearances are caused by some creature and wants to test this theory.
‘A small charge would stun them and bring them to the surface’
As game warden, Steve disapproves.
‘Wouldn’t want to have to arrest you doc but I will if I find you near the preserves with any explosives.’
and spends three days thoroughly searching the swamp.
‘If it’s there I’ll find it’
You would think, what with it being your job an all, however...
'Whatever it was it isn't around here anymore.'
Doesn’t find a thing. In fact he doesn’t think there’s anything down there to find.
‘You can bet your bottom dollar the other two died from dave walker’s shotgun’
So people keep dying, and yet Steve still won’t agree to using explosives.
‘Not using explosives as along as there is another way’
Fair enough you might think, after all...
‘An explosion underwater would kill every lving thing’ ‘Satisfied?’
No. Because...
‘No alligators in tat part of the swamp right?'
'So?'
'No sign of any fish or snakes?‘
'No.'
So, a game warden who, in 3 days of searching not only failed to find any giant leeches,
but also failed to notice that all other wildlife had vanished.
‘I just can’t figure it out’
How did he graduate from game wardening school?
‘It’s impossible’
Even after this revelation Steve would still rather arrest his own father in law than use explosives.
‘I warned him I’d arrest him’
But when the final big explosion comes, whose hand is on the plunger?
And it works!
But does he apologise to the relatives of those who died while he was dragging his feet?
‘What about human life? 3 people have been killed’
Does he hell!
'You won't get any arguments from me.'
I don’t usually like gung ho monster films that advocate mass obliteration as a solution,
but in this case I found myself yelling at the screen...
‘blow it up!’
'Take him out of here before I loose my temper.'
Not because I was concerned for the characters,
Eat the lot of them for all I care, but because it would be one in the eye for that wilfully obtuse prick!
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