- I mean, you just told me things in the past few hours,
that you should've told me many, many years ago.
I don't know, I think it's--
- [Eugene's Dad] Are you crying?
- No, are you crying?
(slow, melancholic music)
- One of the most pivotal things
that a father teaches his son,
is how to shave.
- A real right of passage.
- The video you're most excited about.
- Yeah.
- I remember you teaching me how to shave,
it was a big moment.
- I remember my father teaching me how to shave.
- And it, in some cases,
is one of the last really big things
that your dad teaches you.
- So as a Father's Day gift,
I'm going to shave you like you did for me,
back when I was a kid.
- Well thank you, Eugene.
- Are you afraid?
- Yeah.
- Do you feel comfortable?
- No.
- I will say, if I mess up at all,
it's because you taught me.
You're in good hands.
- Whenever you're at the haircut place,
do you feel trapped?
- I feel trapped whenever I'm in a chair,
either at a barber shop or the dentist's.
- Okay, I, ooh boy.
I don't know how to do this to you,
but I will try and give you
the full barber shop experience.
- Might...
(laughing)
Like a pond in my lap.
- Sorry, I don't
know what to do.
- Is it weird that I'm so close to your face?
- When someone's doing something to you,
it's always a little bit unnerving.
- Right.
Especially someone who's not qualified to do it.
- That's exactly right, yeah.
This is not how you shave.
- Kind of open up, ah!
(laughing)
- Not really. - It's a little weird.
- That's not chloroform, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- That'd probably be better for a cleanse.
- Oh! (laughing)
- [Studio Crew Member] Ring out some of the water!
- If you knew how wet my shirt is right now.
- What do you use? Gillette.
- Right. - Yeah.
- Tom Brady.
- Sure.
- I feel like I'm pawing him like a kitten.
- I know you think it's weird for you,
think about me.
- Yeah.
- Are you just gonna fall asleep?
- I'm trying.
(laughing)
You're giving massage after this?
- [Eugene] No.
- So the first thing, the thing that you taught me,
when I was learning how to shave,
is don't be afraid to draw blood.
- I never said that.
- Oh god, I don't wanna hurt you.
- You're not gonna hurt me with a,
unless you go sideways.
- Do you wanna stretch your skin in any way?
Do you have to do that?
- I don't know.
- Okay.
- I'm trying to-- - You don't have to go
all the way up to my eyes.
There's no, I have no beard around my eyes.
- Dad, you have one big nose hair
coming right out of your nose.
- Pull it out.
- Really? - Mm-hmm.
- Okay, one, two, three.
- Huh.
- See that?
That was in my dad's nose.
- [Dad] Ew.
- Can't get more intimate than that, Dad.
- Wow.
- While I have you captive, in a barber chair,
why don't I ask you some questions.
- Like, there's a lot I know about your life,
and then there are things I don't know about your life.
And we talked about this,
there's some things fathers and sons don't talk about.
- You remember when you lived,
far away from us?
- Yeah.
- How long was that?
For a few years, right?
- Yeah, about four, four years.
- Did you ever feel like we didn't get
to know you very well as kids?
- Well, sometimes.
'Cause I didn't spend much time with you guys.
- Yeah.
- I know, I feel like my memory of this is more extreme,
but when I was teenager and preteen,
I feel like I was really angry a lot.
I remember yelling at you and Mom and especially you.
And being a kid is frustrating and scary and angering.
But, I never thought about how that must feel as a father.
- I don't know.
- Well, that's the hardest thing about father,
you try to spend more time with your children.
That was, I missed a lot.
I didn't spend a lot of time with you guys.
But you had a good mom.
- [Eugene] Yeah.
- She's very tender, caring mom.
So you guys should appreciate.
- Well we did, but then she left.
And then we were with you.
Right? - Right.
- So, what was your early relationship with Mom like?
- Well I met her senior year in college.
And I knew pretty much right away,
that I wanted to marry her, but I wasn't ready.
- Really?
- Yeah, so we dated and then we broke up,
and then we dated and we broke up.
- What?
- Only that at church, someone came to me,
said, "Hey Don, we think you
"should help teach Sunday school."
I said okay.
- Is this where Mom was?
- And Mom was already kinda in charge of the youth group,
and she was really good with the youth,
and really pretty, and really smart,
and we seemed to, we compatible
and she had lots of strengths where I didn't,
and I had some strengths
where she might not have had,
and together it seemed like it was gonna work out well.
One of the first movies we went to,
was when Star Wars first came out.
Very first time, we were both blown away equally.
- You both liked it?
- Yeah. - That's a good sign.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I had no idea that you broke up with my mom before.
- Well I was an idiot.
I was immature and I was an idiot.
- Obviously.
- I thought I needed to date other people for a while.
And I did, and it just wasn't, wasn't the same.
She just had a really great sense of humor
that I appreciated and,
the things that I appreciated her,
with her in the beginning, are the same now,
but there's so many other things
that I appreciate about her.
That actually became more,
more intense with kids.
And having children actually has
made our relationship stronger.
- Then maybe, I think that I got to know you
better after you divorced, right?
- Right.
- So, when your dad died, when you were how old?
- I was about three months old.
- How did he die?
- Well, he died with a stroke.
- He had a stroke?
- Mm-hmm.
- And then, when did your mom die?
- Well, she left us, so.
- Oh.
- Yeah, we didn't have any communication.
- But she left you?
- Right.
- Why did she leave you?
- I have no idea.
- How old were you?
- It was high school.
- How'd you take care of yourself in high school?
- Well, I had a good family, good relative, so.
They help.
Are you crying?
- No, are you crying?
Well, I'm just confused why,
I mean, I only had on grandma,
it's just Mom's mom.
But what, she was alive when we were kids?
- Right. - And you never tried
to reach out to her?
- [Eugene's Dad] Well, yeah, I didn't try.
- Is it 'cause she left you?
- [Eugene's Dad] Mm-hmm.
- What do you mean, she just left?
The family?
- [Eugene's Dad] Right.
- Well how'd you take care of yourself?
- My high school teacher called me one day.
He said, "Uh-jay, you any trouble?"
I said, "Why?"
Goes, "You gonna flunk."
My grade go down.
"If you flunk, you'll be bagger.
"You better study, go college."
So, I really appreciated that teacher.
He's like my father.
He guide me what I am now.
So...
For me, even I didn't have a father,
I would rather need a father figure,
somebody who can discuss.
- 'Cause I know that there were, I didn't mean it,
but there were times that I screamed that I hated you.
There were times that I told you
to fuck off and leave my room.
- Yes.
I know you did that, but you didn't really mean it,
you were just angry.
- But how's,
I don't know, how's that feel as a dad?
- Well, I'm smarter and more mature than that,
so when you said that,
I knew to take it with a grain of salt.
- I guess I've, I've never apologized for it
and I've felt bad about it, so.
I wanted to say I'm sorry.
- I just don't understand why you don't
say any of this when we were growing up.
- Well, I guess, it's my mistake.
Now we can talk.
- Yeah.
Were you just not comfortable?
- Right.
- Do you think it's because, Korean culture?
- Well, because I didn't know my father and my mother left,
so then I'm not very proud to talk about it.
- Yeah, but I just feel like,
you didn't have to go through that
by yourself all the time.
- Well, I wasted all that.
Make a strong person, but other side,
make you very weak.
- I don't know if I've really told you this yet,
but Arielle and I are actually, kinda,
trying to start having kids this year.
- Wow.
What do you think about that?
- I feel like it's something that we've
been talking about for a while, and--
- Yeah, I've noticed the pregnancy books in the,
in the bathroom.
- But I just, I worry that having a kid
will be so challenging,
that it'll stress our relationship in a way that
I don't know if we're ready for.
- I mean, you're not gonna be ready.
- Yeah.
- You don't, you're gonna just have to work it out.
Every parent's gonna be different, you're gonna do fine.
- What do you think of Becky?
- Oh, I love her.
- Oh, that's good.
- We're so happy that
she's sweet and intelligent
and
she kinda understands
maybe whatever peculiar habits
with your ladies you may have.
- And that, I am excited to have a kid.
And I think the entire way,
I'll just be thinking of the example
that you and Mom set for me.
- Good.
- And I wanted to thank you.
When I was growing up,
and when I was dealing with depression,
you and Mom always supported me,
you supported me creatively.
And it meant the world to me then
and it still does.
- You set very good examples for
the kinda people we should be.
So, we owe a lot of that to you and Mom.
- You'll be a terrific father.
You'll be a great dad.
- 'Cause, you're one who,
somehow can relate to basically every age.
For one thing, I mean.
Plus you care, and both you and Becky are,
will be just marvelous parents.
- Thanks. - I have confidence in you.
- I imagine fatherhood is challenging.
- Yes.
- It's not an easy thing.
- Yeah.
But, it's worth it.
- I learn everyday.
You appreciate your life, each moment.
When you wake up, you still live.
So, that's life.
You enjoy each moment.
You don't roll about your past.
- I'm glad that, even if it's for a video,
that we finally got to talk about a lot of this.
I think I learned a lot about you today.
And I'm really,
I'm really glad to know that
you always wanted to have kids.
- Oh, yeah.
- Alright, do you wanna do a not awkward hug now?
Like a regular hug?
- Yeah.
- Is it weird?
Okay.
I love you, Dad.
- Eugene, I love you more.
- I love you most.
- [Eugene's Dad] Nah, I do more than you.
- It's not a contest Dad.
(laughing)
- [Eugene's Dad] Thank you, Eugene.
- Yeah.
- [Eugene's Dad] Yeah, that was pretty good.
- Yeah, I'm sorry about what happened.
- [Eugene's Dad] Well don't feel sorry, that's life.
- Well, even though you didn't have a dad,
I have a good dad.
- [Eugene's Dad] Well, thank you.
- Yeah.
- Happy Father's Day.
- Thank you, Ned.
You're a great kid.
- Aw, thanks.
- I love you very much.
- I love you too.
- Thanks for coming all this way, to L.A. for a day,
to do all this crazy stuff. - Sure thing.
- Love you, Dad.
- [Zach's Dad] I love you, Zach.
- Wow, you are wet.
(laughing)
That's awful.
I'm so sorry.
(upbeat music)