Howdy! This is PhantomStrider.
And this is Boo.
Well, it's time we plunge our fists into the murkiest depths of filth and depravity
that cartoons have ever given us.
The canceled episodes of what I consider the worst cartoon of all time.
Ren and Stimpy Adult Party cartoon.
(thunder)
Apparently, these episodes were of such sub-par, revolting quality
that even the guy who brought us "Ren Seeks Help" couldn't manage to get them made.
So let's roll up our sleeves and chat about the three canceled episodes
of the worst cartoon of all time, Ren and Stimpy Adult Party cartoon.
Also, for better or for worse, I found prototype footage of all the canceled episodes.
Yes, I'm sorry, I wish I didn't find it either.
(uncertainly) Anyway, onto the countdown. Eugh.
Number three:
Stimpy understandably can't handly Ren's abuse anymore.
So the two get into a massive argument over which is better,
to be an idiot or a psychotic a-hole?
[?] Goku answers that question while fighting Frieza in one sentence.
(Goku) I'd rather be a brainless beast than a heartless monster, like you.
They finally settle the argument by switching roles for the day.
Apparently, this was meant to be the sequel to "Ren Seeks Help."
But given in that episode, Ren gets sent to a psyche ward
after committing murder and mutilation. I don't know how that would occur.
But given the cartoon's overwhelmingly negative reception,
this episode thankfully got cancelled.
And for number two:
George Liquor takes our buddies Ren and Stimpy hunting deep into the woods.
(George) We've got nothing to protect us but our wits!
Our buddy John Kricfalusi tried to get this green-lit several times by Nickelodeon,
but every single time, they rejected it.
Why?
Well to be honest, I'm not completely sure.
When you look at it, it seems like a standard Ren and Stimpy episode.
There's these standard grossout scenes, like a duck sharing its regurgitated food with Ren.
(belch)
(chuckles) But even then, it's actually kind of funny.
But apart from that, all that really happens is George Liquor takes Ren and Stimpy into the woods.
They find a duck pond, and a duck asks Ren to marry him.
(Red squeals)
(kissing)
(Stimpy) Isn't love grand?
But the way Nickelodeon repeatedly rejected this episode, it makes you wonder,
what did they see that we didn't see?
Did Ren fornicate with a bear or something?
And the number one canceled Adult Party episode is:
(Narrator) The unlucky ones got frostbite...
(groans) With a title like that, of course it would have been the worst episode we'd ever seen.
This one was made right before John was completely fired from Nickelodeon.
I wonder why.
(Ren, maniacally) Murder, Stimpy!
That's what life is about! Murder!
-An episode dedicated to explaining why existence is miserable and terrible.
I think this would have been an interesting contender for "Ren Seeks Help"
if John had ever been allowed to make it.
And lucky us, I tracked down the unaired footage for all of us to enjoy.
(boo!) Yes, I'm sorry, I did.
So we start the episode with Stimpy happily watering his garden.
Only for Ren to come and tell him that life sucks.
(Ren) Life sucks.
(Stimpy) Don't say that!
-Anyway, since Stimpy disagrees with him, Ren gives us an extensive look
at life's past tragedies, like the Children's Crusade to prove his point.
(Ren) Some of the little rascals drowned in the rivers.
(Stimpy) No!
(Ren) Yes they did.
(Stimpy) That's not very happy, Ren.
(Ren) Happy for the fishies!
-A horrible tragedy wherein thousands of children died from the elements while marching to the Holy Land.
Real classy, John. Nice work.
(hacking)
(Ren) And they skewed the little fellows with their spears and with their arrows.
(child screams)
(Stimpy screams)
This was originally meant to be the prequel to "Ren Seeks Help."
I guess this was what pushed Stimpy over the edge.
It's never actually stated in "Ren Seeks Help" what Ren did.
Apart from, you know, be brutal, horrible, and abusive to everyone and everything for his whole life.
Interestingly, almost all the employees at John's company considered this
the best Ren and Stimpy episode ever made.
In fact, they wanted to make it into a TV movie,
traumatizing children all over the world.
Well done, guys. Well done.
At this point, I'm not surprised they think
this unmentionable, hideous, revolting piece of garbage filth is good.
My guess isn Nickelodeon's executives saw the prototype of this episode,
and after waking themselves up from their involuntary spasms of terror
and cleaning the vomit up off the floor,
they promptly booted John from his office and burned it.