I wasn't gonna film a video today because as you can tell by my greasy looking hair and my acne ridden face that I
Look like a mess. But you know, what's even messier?
The YA book community. We should just take out the second letter because..
WHY?
You thirsty ass hoes are really something else. because now I gotta make a whole video about dick soap gate of
2018 cuz I know that nobody on booktube is gonna dare to even talk about it because nobody wants to associate their channel with this
Mess but guess what? This channel is trash and I have no shame
If you don't know what dick soap gate is
You are probably not active on book Twitter and good for you
Cuz I joined last week and I'm already wrapped up in this bullshit
I thought that this was a community to talk about books
but clearly nothing is sacred and we are all going to hell the book Twitter community was in hysterics on the night of
August 14 2018
over a book subscription box this one specializes in boyfriend book boxes
These items are sent to you to quench your thirsty ass and from the previous boxes that I saw on their website
It usually had tote bags with romantic quotes from that character or a chapstick based on the character, you know
Just like cute little shit that you normally don't shove up your ass until recently. They put out a smut one
That's 18 plus dedicated to the characters from the A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J, Maas
I have never read any of these books
But clearly I should because you guys are fucking wild so in this box they had personalized letters where these characters are
talking dirty to you
There is unlicensed smut fan fiction; fan art of naked guys with towels draped over their loins AND dick soap.
So it is exactly what you think it is. All of this was a choice
So as you can imagine people lost their shit
I have taken screenshots of the unboxing videos that I've seen on Instagram and
We are gonna go through this journey together
And I guess you could say
"unbox" what has happened because I can explain this to you as much as I want but a picture tells a thousand words and
Yet somehow I am speechless let me break down some of the items here
This is the illyrian book boyfriend box. And I don't know if I'm pronouncing these names correctly. I've never read the books frankly
This is the lease of my fucking concerns right now
One of the items is a double sided pillowcase,
which is very fitting because I hope you guys are changing your bed sheets regularly since you are making such a damn mess
We have these personalized letters that are written to the people receiving the boxes
"My Dearest Sabrina,
"I've been spying in the summer court for about two months now and something happened today. That made me think of you-"
There is a typo where it says "everything makes me 'thing' of you", sir
If you're gonna be writing some sexy letters the least you can do is spellcheck
But maybe it was hard to proofread because you were too busy crapping soap made out of your own dick
"Well, everything makes me think of you, but on this occasion, I was particularly reminded of your lovely self-"
Was there a drought or something?
Cuz that is the only thing I can think of when I look at this thirst trap. "It was the prettiest meadow
"There aren't any Meadows quite like the summer court Meadows"
"It was so peaceful a spring trickle in the distance birds chirped, but all I could think about was the time"
"I fucked you in that- was the time I fucked you in that meadow in Belarus that night under the stars. I
(my neighbors were in the hallway so I had to stop reading)
"I will never forget your moans for the rest of my existence"
"The way you clutch my shoulders as I drove into you" Drove into you? Is this guy a truck? Sis
Are you okay? Do I need to call the paramedics? "I want to do it again"
"I want to fill you with every inch of me until you're mindless with pleasure, begging me for release" bitch
I'm begging to be released from this travesty. "I will fuck you soon"
I love how this character does not sign the letter off with sincerely or maybe even see you soon
He's just like fuck you soon. Bye and they say chivalry is dead. This is another letter to a girl named, Brittany
"Hey my sexy Brittany. You know what"
"I love most about finishing a particularly grueling day in the camps is the knowledge that no matter how utterly shit"
"it's been no matter what bullshit I had to fix I can still come home at the end of the-" and
Then it kind of cuts off from there
But I imagine that it pretty much follows the same format as the other letter. You know what I love
About finishing a particularly grueling day in real life is the knowledge that no matter how utterly shit
It's been no matter what bullshit I had to fix I can still come home at the end of the day to find some new
Bullshit from the YA community and next we have the fan part and honestly
I don't know what the fuck is going on here. I don't know any of these characters
Somehow I don't think that makes it any less confusing
Where would you even put this? are you gonna hang it up on the mantle next to grandma's picture?
I don't know who these people are, but they are doing the most right now
You better wash that towel after you're done with it, sir, walking out from the shower when you're already filthy
I'm surprised they didn't include the actual towels god forbid
so also included in these boxes are little mini books printed with fanfiction cuz that's legal "A Court of Smut and"
"Wingspans". I don't know. What wingspans are
but I feel like my lifespan just shortened by reading this here are the table of contents
A Court of Winds and Thrusting; A court of Groans and Water, A Court of Crowns and Passion
Okay, maybe we can just break this down one by one and try to process it individually.
A Court of Winds and Thrusting
so how
How does is work? Is there so much thrusting that there's wind like is that the case is this a chicken or egg situation?
Imagine thrusting so intensely that you are actually creating wind is this guy an airbender?
A Court of Groans and Water
Where is the water coming from? Is something leaking?
Do I want to know? I don't like where this is going.
A Court of Crowns and Passion
This is the weakest chapter title. It is too vanilla
I feel like the chapter names had a strong start in the beginning with some thrusting action
And then they kind of got lazy surely
There is more innuendo that you could have pulled.
and then lastly, the mother load of it all, the soap crafted by Satan himself
Here it is. Obviously your I had to censor it because I don't want this video to be taken down
I want this to be immortalized so that you can look at it and see exactly what you have done
I can't believe people are literally pulling out dildo soaps in front of the camera and twirling it around and going
"Oh, my god is so cute. Would you just look at it? Just look at it". No, bitch
I don't want to look at it get your crusty ass dick soap out of my face can't believe the shit
I'm seeing fucking seeing you guys waving it around like it's a fucking Harry Potter wand really in front of my salad
"Clearly my dog likes the way it smells too" Bitch. Get your dog away from that soap
I don't care what you do with that soap, but you should never let Spot near that thing
This is the most upsetting part of the whole debacle. I
Don't even care about this soap and I don't care what you do with it
You can shove it up your coochie for all I care
Everyone's freaking out and saying how dangerous this is and how people can get yeast infections
But you know what some bitch's gotta learn the hard way Fido does not deserve this
So you best keep that shit away from him
"also for the few naysayers
"Have you actually read the ACOTAR series? because what's included in our box is nothing short to the graphic sexual content included in the series"
"So please educate yourself before looking like a fool. again, It's not a dildo. It's a soap"
You know what? That's fair. Maybe the books do have scenes where they rub each other with dick soap. I don't know
I've never read it. I haven't done my research
So I can't say much about that. But sis if you proclaim that it's just soap
Why did you put a suction cup under it? Because that was a choice and I want an explanation
So there you have it the unboxing of Dick Soap Gate 2018. in conclusion. You guys need Jesus
Stop it. Get some help.
Okay, so, all jokes aside, here are my actual thoughts:
This shit is hilarious
I'm not shaming anyone for enjoying this stuff,
and I don't think we shouldGeneralize Sarah J. Maas fans or YA fans.
This video is obviously just a joke
The only thing I am offended by is the fact that you trashy hos didn't invite me to this party
How dare you!? next time send me a memo. I do admit though that this whole
debacle
Opens up a lot of discussion this whole incident is very messy for two reasons
The first is the intellectual property rights when you sell fanfiction. I feel like it should be pretty obvious that you shouldn't sell fanfic
Somebody's about to get served
the second topic is the over-sexualization of YA characters and I would love to hear your thoughts on this
is this Okay
when the source material from what I'm hearing is already smutty in the first place should we accept that there will always be
Rule 34 and 18 plus contents for literally everything
We see a lot of 18 plus versions of children's cartoons and children's movies.
So why not YA books too? what are the parameters of how much this is Okay? Is this just for fun?
Or should we actually be concerned and lastly should we all get baptized?
I'm not gonna dive too deep into this because I gotta go to work now and pretend like I
Didn't see what I just saw but if you want to get into it
I am down to discuss and hear your opinions and talk more about my two cents in the comments section
otherwise, let's just have a good laugh at ourselves and
Just go to church every now and then yeah, and next time you thirsty bitches are gonna pull a stunt like this
Send me a damn memo. Hope you guys enjoy the rest of your week and
Just just practice common sense from now on. Okay, don't shove anything up your coochie don't sell fanfiction and
Think about your choices and for the love of God do not drag dogs into this
Yeah, that's all I got for now bye