THE BIG NEWS, DID EVERYONE SEE IT?
DID YOU SEE OPRAH'S BIG INTERVIEW WITH HARRY AND MEGHAN
LAST NIGHT?
WHOA WHOA!
HO HO HO.
>> James: DID YOU WATCH?
>> I DID.
MY BIG NIGHT WAS THE NBA ALL-STAR GAME UNTIL MY
GIRLFRIEND SAID WE WEREN'T WATCHING THAT.
THEN IT WAS THE DUTCHESS AND THE PRINCE.
= WELL, THE INTERVIEW DREW
17-MILLION VIEWERS.
INCREDIBLE.
THAT'S ONE VIEWER FOR EVERY COMMERCIAL BREAK.
IT WAS LIKE, YOU WILL HEAR SOMETHING ABOUT IT WHEN WE'RE
RIGHT BACK.
IT WAS RIGHT HERE ON CBS.
FOR THE FIRST TWO HOURS, THEY SAT DOWN AND TALKED TO OPRAH
ABOUT THEIR UPS AND DOWNS.
THEN, IN THE THIRD HOUR, A DESPERATE HARRY AND MEGHAN
FINALLY SOUGHT HELP FROM "THE EQUALIZER."
CROSSOVER.
DID ANY OF THE BAND SEE IT?
DID YOU WATCH IT?
DID YOU SEE IT, GUILLERMO?
YOU WATCHED IT HAGAH?
>> ON MY PHONE.
>> James: GUILLERMO?
>> WE WATCHED IT ON THE TV.
>> James: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A TV.
>> WE DO.
>> James: YOU NEVER WATCHED THIS SHOW ON THE TV BUT THAT YOU
WATCHED.
>> I THOUGHT IT WAS ON THE INTERNET.
>> James: YOU DIDN'T WATCH IT REGGIE?
>> Reggie: I THOUGHT IT HAD ALREADY AIRED ON THE INTERNET OR
SOMETHING.
>> James: IT DID.
AMONG THE MANY REVELATIONS IN THE INTERVIEW, HARRY AND MEGHAN
SAID THEY SECRETLY GOT MARRIED THREE DAYS BEFORE THEIR PUBLIC
WEDDING.
A PUBLIC WEDDING THAT I ATTENDED!
I GOT TO TELL YOU, I WANT MY TOASTER BACK.
THAT WAS A WEDDING PRESENT, NOT A "THREE DAYS AFTER THE WEDDING"
PRESENT.
I DIDN'T, ACTUALLY, I GOT THEM AN ESPRESSO.
I UNDERTEMPERATURE UP AND SAW CLOONEY WAS THERE AND I SAID OH
NO.
IT WAS A DOUBLE NESPRESSO.
I SAID NO, KEURIG IS FAR SUPERIOR.
SO, THE CEREMONY I WENT TO WAS A SHAM?
CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THEY WERE LIKE, "DOES ANYONE HERE OBJECT
TO THIS UNION?" AND I WAS LIKE, "ME!
I DO!" AND THEN IT'S LIKE, "TOO BAD
THEY'RE ALREADY MARRIED.
WE'RE REALLY JUST DOING THIS FOR SHOW."
WHAT WAS YOUR BIG TAKE AWAY?
WHAT DID YOUR GIRLFRIEND THINK?
>> SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT.
AND I WAS LIKE IF YOU WERE THAT RICH, WHY WOULD YOU HAVE
CHICKENS?
RIGHT?
>> James: YEAH, I DO LIKE THAT OPRAH LEFT WITH SIX EGGS.
YOU SEE THAT?
OPRAH WAS JUST HOLDING SIX EGGS AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SMART, GROW
POINTS.
ZERO POINT FOOD EGGS.
I GOT IT.
YEAH.
>> THERE IS A LEVEL OF WEALTH WHERE YOU SLOWLY START TURNING
BACK INTO A FARMER AGAIN.
>> James: ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
COME BACK HERE WHERE WE CHURN OUR OWN BUTTER, THAT'S ME
MILKING A COW.
THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT, IS THAT RIGHT?
>> IT KIND OF LOOKS LIKE YOU -- >> James: MAYBE THAT HELPS.
DOES THAT HELP?
DO I LOOK LIKE I'M MILKING A COW, DAVE?
IF SOMEONE IS WATCHING WITH THE SOUND OFF -- YOU'RE WELCOME.
OH, YEAH.
>> James: FRESH MILK.
>> IT'S ALL IT IS.
>> James: AND THERE WAS SOME BIG NEWS OVER THE WEEKEND.
DID ANYBODY HEAR?
THE SENATE FINALLY PASSED PRESIDENT BIDEN'S $1.9 TRILLION
COVID RELIEF BILL AFTER AN ALL-NIGHT "VOTE-A-RAMA," WHICH
IS WHEN A SERIES OF AMENDMENTS MUST BE VOTED ON BEFORE THE
FINAL VOTE ON THE BILL.
"VOTE-A-RAMA."
WHAT IS WITH ALL THE WEIRD TERMINOLOGY IN AMERICAN
GOVERNMENT?
YOU'VE GOT FILIBUSTERS, NUCLEAR OPTIONS, VOTE-A-RAMAS.
ALL YOUR LEGISLATIVE PROCEDURE START TO SOUND LIKE CARNIVAL
RIDES.
ARE YOU GOING ON THE VOTE ARAMA, NO, I JUST WENT ON THE
FILIBUSTER.
AND NOW THAT THE "VOTE-A-RAMA" IS DONE, THE SENATE CAN FOCUS ON
THEIR NEXT BIG EVENT, "RESTRICT-VOTER-RIGHTS-A-
PALOOZA."
AND THIS WAS INTERESTING.
IT HAS RECENTLY COME OUT THAT WHITE HOUSE ADVISOR SUSAN RICE
BURNED SAGE IN HER WEST WING OFFICE TO CLEANSE THE SPACE OF
NEGATIVITY BECAUSE IT WAS ONCE OCCUPIED BY TRUMP ADVISOR
STEPHEN MILLER.
I'M NOT SURE SAGE IS ENOUGH.
HAVE YOU SEEN STEPHEN MILLER?
>> OH GOSH!
>> James: YOU DON'T NEED SAGE TO GET RID OF HIS ENERGY.
YOU NEED GARLIC AND A CRUCIFIX.
IF ANYTHING, SAGE IS JUST GOING TO MAKE IT ANGRY.
SHE BURNED SAGE IN HER OFFICE.
ALSO, JOE BIDEN HAD THE FONZ STOP BY THE OVAL OFFICE AND SAY
"EYY" A COUPLE TIMES, JUST TO GET THE VIBES BACK.
PEOPLE JUST DON'T WANT TO GO BAC INTO THEIR -- PEOPLE JUST
DON'T WANT TO GO BACK INTO THEIR OLD WORKPLACE.
IN WHICH HARRY AND MEGHAN SAID, YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THE NEW TREND OF BUYING ONE-OF-A-KIND
DIGITAL ART USING BLOCKCHAIN TECHNOLOGY?
THEY'RE CALLED N.F.T.'S., FOR "NON-FUNGIBLE TOKENS."
WELL, TWITTER CO-FOUNDER AND C.E.O. JACK DORSEY IS AUCTIONING
OFF HIS FIRST EVER TWEET AS AN N.F.T.
HERE IT IS HERE.
AND BIDS HAVE ALREADY EXCEEDED $2.5 MILLION.
I'LL BE HONEST, I DON'T THINK HUMAN BEINGS ARE GONNA MAKE IT.
I DON'T.
I HONESTLY DON'T.
WHEN I READ THAT STORY I'M LIKE AS A SPECIES WE'RE FINISHED.
IT'S DONE.
THE "NON-FUNGIBLE" PART MEANS IT'S ONE-OF-A-KIND AND CAN'T BE
REPLACED.
I'M GOING TO START USING "NON-FUNGIBLE" AS A ROMANTIC
TERM WITH MY WIFE.
"HONEY, YOU ARE, AND WILL ALWAYS BE, THE NON-FUNGIBLE WOMAN IN MY
LIFE."
REGGIE, LET ME GUESS.
YOU'RE ALL OVER CRYPTO ART, AREN'T YOU?
>> Reggie: YEAH, YEAH, JUST RECENTLY.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHAT IS IT?
TALK TO ME.
>> Reggie: I'VE BEEN INTERESTED IN FIGURING OUT HOW
TO GET INTO IT BECAUSE I KIND OF DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT AT FIRST
BUT ONCE I DID UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WAS, I QUICKLY GOT SOMETHING
TOGETHER AND I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO RELEASE ONE SOON.
>> James: YOU'RE SELLING ONE?
>> Reggie: YES, IT'S CALLED THE NONCOMPLIANCE OF BEING.
AND IT'S A 3D HOLOGRAPHIC DISPLAY BY SOMEONE CALLED
LOOKING GLASS.
ME AND MY FRIEND BRADY KEEN WHO GOES BY PANTHER MODERN.
IT'S REALLY FUN, ALL THE INFO IS ON TWITTER, IT'S ALSO ON MY
TWITTER ACCOUNT.
THIS IS WHAT I'D LIKE TO CALL, IT'S PART OF THE FIDGETTAL
REVOLUTION.
>> James: I'VE NEVER FELT SO OLD.
AS I DO IN THIS MOMENT.
AND I'M YOUNGER THAN YOU.
>> Reggie: YEAH.
>> James: WELL, THIS IS INTERESTING REG, SEE HOW IT
GOES.
I'M PUMPED FOR IT, I'M JAZZED FOR IT.
AND THAT ISN'T THE ONLY WAY TECHNOLOGY IS INFLUENCING THE
ART WORLD.
SCIENTISTS HAVE NOW TRAINED AN A.I. ROBOT TO CREATE PAINTINGS
THAT ARE PRACTICALLY INDIS-- HA HA --
>> Reggie: DID YOU SAY INDISQUISHIBLE?
>> James: HOW DO I SAY IT?
>> IN DISTINGUISHABLE.
>> James: WHY IS IT SPELLED INDISQUISHIBLE?
>> THIS IS IT, THIS IS YOUR FRED SANFORD MOMENT, THIS IS THE BIG
ONE?
>> James: I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT WOULD HAPPEN.
IT'S HAPPENED.
THIS IS IT.
YOU WERE THERE.
I WERE THERE ON THE DAY THAT HE LOST HIS MIND.
HOW DO YOU SAY IT AGAIN?
>> INDISTINGUISHABLE.
>> James: WHY AM I READING IT AS INDISQUISHIBLE?
>> THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GUMMY BEAR TECHNOLOGY THEY'RE JUST COMING
OUT WITH.
>> James: THEY'RE INDISQUISHIBLES.
FOAM ON THE OUTSIDE, FOAM ON THE INSIDE.
MOM, DO WE HAVE ANY SNACKS?
NO, I WANT SOMETHING INDISQUISHIBLE.
ANYWAY.
YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE IS WHAT I'M SAYING.
BUT THESE PAINTINGS THAT ARE INDISQUISHIBLE --
(LAUGHTER) -- THEY ARE SELLING FOR
THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.
AND IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT SOMEONE MADE THE LIVES OF STRUGGLING
ARTISTS EVEN HARDER, RIGHT?
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE?
MORE LIKE ART-IFICIAL INTELLIGENCE!
ART-IFICIAL.
IT'S HARD TO DO A PUN WHEN THE PUN IS ALREADY IN THE WORD.
A.I. ROBOT PAINTERS.
HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU SOME, AND YOU TELL ME IF IT WAS PAINTED BY
A HUMAN OR A ROBOT.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ROBOT OR HUMAN?
HUMAN?
CAN I TELL YOU THAT'S A ROBOT.
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THAT'S ALSO A ROBOT.
AND THIS ONE?
ROBOT?
>> HUMAN.
>> James: THAT WAS PAINTED BY A HUMAN.
AND FINALLY ABOUT THIS ONE?
PROBABLY A ROBOT.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF THE "LATE LATE SHOW" EVERYBODY.