[MUSIC PLAYING]
FELICIA DAY: OK.
Today, I'm going to learn how to put together furniture with
Jeff Lewis.
JEFF LEWIS: Hello.
FELICIA DAY: Do you know what's in here?
JEFF LEWIS: Gold.
FELICIA DAY: It says, no--
JEFF LEWIS: No cutting.
So we're doing exactly what they want us to do here.
[LAUGHING]
FELICIA DAY: Did you see the instruction manual?
JEFF LEWIS: Well, I think you need to open up the box
completely.
Call me crazy.
This is like the money shot of an IKEA put together.
FELICIA DAY: What?
Why would that be the money shot?
JEFF LEWIS: Because this is where all good [BLEEP]
is.
[ROARING]
JEFF LEWIS: I am Hulk.
FELICIA DAY: David Mammut instruction bulletin.
JEFF LEWIS: Oh, let's open this up.
[BLEEP]
JEFF LEWIS: Can we find where the English version of this
[BLEEP]
is?
Oh, my god.
This is 18 pages.
FELICIA DAY: Do you have any of that?
JEFF LEWIS: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, really?
Can you go get that?
JEFF LEWIS: Yeah.
What are you--
FELICIA DAY: Can you bring me a coffee, too?
JEFF LEWIS: No.
What happened here?
Ow.
[BLEEP].
FELICIA DAY: Are you serious?
JEFF LEWIS: Let's go.
FELICIA DAY: Who did it?
JEFF LEWIS: Who did it?
Look, touch it.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, wow.
That's cool.
How does that work?
JEFF LEWIS: (SARCASTICALLY) Yeah, it's a real phenomenon.
FELICIA DAY: I've never seen that before!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
FELICIA DAY: Pull my finger.
JEFF LEWIS: OK.
Are you ready?
You didn't do anything.
That--
FELICIA DAY: I couldn't get it out.
JEFF LEWIS: I could do it.
Ready?
Hold on.
Give me a second.
OK.
Let's go.
Come over here.
FELICIA DAY: Why?
Why are you in charge now, like a man?
JEFF LEWIS: I'm not.
Go ahead.
FELICIA DAY: No, go ahead.
JEFF LEWIS: What's next?
FELICIA DAY: No, go ahead.
Is your child going to like this piece of equipment?
JEFF LEWIS: I don't know.
FELICIA DAY: He's not going to like it, is he?
JEFF LEWIS: He doesn't really know what he likes anyways.
FELICIA DAY: He's gonna love this.
JEFF LEWIS: He's 14 months.
FELICIA DAY: He's what?
JEFF LEWIS: He's 14 months.
FELICIA DAY: That's enough.
JEFF LEWIS: It's enough for what?
Legally or something?
FELICIA DAY: It's enough for him to appreciate a wardrobe
that's blue.
JEFF LEWIS: What'd you [BLEEP]
up now?
FELICIA DAY: It just went in too deep.
[CHUCKLING]
JEFF LEWIS: Oh.
What is wrong with us?
FELICIA DAY: I don't know, but you can't fart on command.
JEFF LEWIS: I--
now, see this?
FELICIA DAY: Seven.
Seven, barrel roll.
Barrel roll.
Roll it over.
JEFF LEWIS: Did you say barrel roll?
FELICIA DAY: Barrel roll.
There's this, and there's this.
JEFF LEWIS: It's the thin one.
FELICIA DAY: Thank you.
JEFF LEWIS: I said you've got the right one.
FELICIA DAY: But I was holding both of them.
How am I supposed to interpret that?
JEFF LEWIS: You're doing great.
We're almost done with the first half.
We're not.
There's 22 steps, and we're at seven.
JEFF LEWIS: God, are you still talking?
FELICIA DAY: It's supposed to be white on the inside?
JEFF LEWIS: Inside white?
Yeah.
I think it actually looks nicer.
I think we needed a little bit of grey inside.
FELICIA DAY: Here's my question.
If you give an instruction booklet that has different
colors, why would you not say brown?
JEFF LEWIS: Well, let me look at the book.
Maybe we did miss something.
I'm just saying.
FELICIA DAY: We need the darker color on the outside.
JEFF LEWIS: Yeah, the darker-- yeah.
I'm so ashamed right now.
FELICIA DAY: Why?
JEFF LEWIS: Is it shame?
FELICIA DAY: Because we're doing hard labor?
JEFF LEWIS: This is good hard labor.
FELICIA DAY: We were doing hard labor.
JEFF LEWIS: What, are we cracking rocks?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
JEFF LEWIS: I think that this thing is not only backwards,
it's upside down.
FELICIA DAY: In order to match that--
JEFF LEWIS: Let's match it.
Let's make sure we're matching it.
FELICIA DAY: Well--
hey, don't be sarcastic.
I'm saying that we [BLEEP]
up.
JEFF LEWIS: OK.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
FELICIA DAY: OK.
JEFF LEWIS: Now, where are the [INAUDIBLE]?
Don't do a puppet show with the IKEA equipment.
FELICIA DAY: Three--
I only have two.
JEFF LEWIS: I know.
I'm counting.
FELICIA DAY: Well, you said three.
I only have two.
JEFF LEWIS: Oh, I'm sorry.
You're right.
FELICIA DAY: I've never gone from hysteria to rage faster.
JEFF LEWIS: I'm just tired, and I'm really sick of you.
FELICIA DAY: Really?
JEFF LEWIS: No.
I mean, not as far as you know, no.
FELICIA DAY: So we'll go in.
We'll get a sound designer to bring your fart out.
JEFF LEWIS: To bring the fart up--
FELICIA DAY: Never.
JEFF LEWIS: --and the ambient sound down.
FELICIA DAY: Never.
We don't have budget for that.
JEFF LEWIS: Do not call me for anything else you're shooting.
FELICIA DAY: Really?
JEFF LEWIS: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: No, that's not right.
We had a real structural problem
on this side, actually.
JEFF LEWIS: Oh, no.
This is too loose in here, dude.
Something is happening that is very wrong, because we have
messed up something really badly.
FELICIA DAY: No!
Don't say it!
JEFF LEWIS: Oh, you [BLEEP]
this all up.
FELICIA DAY: I don't know what's wrong.
This has to go here, because it's holding on the bottom of
the drawer.
So this is completely right.
Just calm down.
No, we did put them on backwards.
JEFF LEWIS: We did not.
You did.
FELICIA DAY: No.
[CLOCK TICKING]
JEFF LEWIS: This is semantics.
I think we should not involve language.
FELICIA DAY: We shouldn't talk at all anymore.
JEFF LEWIS: I don't know why people have to put together
their own [BLEEP]
anyway.
Just buy it at Walmart, and just be done with it.
Oh, my god.
Now, what is all this [BLEEP]
over here?
Is this--
FELICIA DAY: No.
What, is it alternate endings?
I don't know.
You want me to see if it will support me?
JEFF LEWIS: I know it won't support you.
FELICIA DAY: Really?
JEFF LEWIS: Where are the nails?
FELICIA DAY: Oh, god.
It's tipping.
It's tipping!
What are you doing?
Wait.
JEFF LEWIS: I can't believe it held.
FELICIA DAY: I tried to fart.
JEFF LEWIS: Oh, did you just fart in my closet?
This is my son's closet.
I think if Sophie had a choice, she'd--
she'd choose this closet.
FELICIA DAY: What?
All right.
If there was a bucket list, this would be
the anti-bucket list.
You should add this to the bucket list
that you'd never want--
JEFF LEWIS: It should be called the [BLEEP]
list--
the don't [BLEEP]
do it.
Don't [BLEEP]
it.
[BLEEP]
it, man.
Don't do this.
FELICIA DAY: Did you have fun, at least, with me?
JEFF LEWIS: Like having my [BLEEP]
sliced in half.
What?
Yeah, it was fun.
It was real [BLEEP]
fun.
FELICIA DAY: OK, good night.
Thank you.
JEFF LEWIS: Jesus.