>> James: WELCOME BACK. YOU KNOW THIS I DON'T NEED TO
TELL YOU THIS BUT IF THERE'S ONE THING WE LOVE
DOING HERE, IT'S LOOKING AT -- I WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE BACK
STAGE ON THE LATE LATE SHOW. WHAT IS IT WE'RE DOING BACK
THERE ALL DAY? >> ALMOST ALL THE TIME, WE'RE
LOOKING AT PICTURES OF DOGS WEARING SUNGLASSES.
>> James: WE'RE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF DOGS WEARING
SUNGLASSES. BUT WHAT PEOPLE MIGHT NOT KNOW
IS THAT THERE'S A LOT MORE TO THESE DOGS IN SUNGLASSES THAN
MEETS THE EYE. SO I'M GONNA TELL YOU A LITTLE
ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITIES TO LET YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE ALL ABOUT.
THIS IS DOGS IN SUNGLASSES. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ IT'S TIME TO ANALYZE DOGS IN SUNGLASSES ♪
[DOG BARKS IN THE BACKGROUND] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> James: I CAN GO OUT NOW. GOT A BACHELOR PARTY THIS
WEEKEND, YEAH. MY THREE MATES, THREE OF MY
OLDEST FRIENDS ARE FLYING INTO LOS ANGELES, MY MATE JAY IS
GETTING MARRIED, GAV, JAY AND TONE ARE COMING, UM, TO GIVE YOU
AN IDEA OF THE SORT OF SENSIBILITIES OF PEOPLE WE'RE
DEALING WITH, MISSED THEIR FLIGHT.
[LAUGHTER] THIK ABOUT THAT.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD OF ANYBODY MISSING THEIR
FLIGHTS? >> Reggie: FROM LONDON?
>> James: FROM LONDON TO LOS ANGELES, MISSED THE FLIGHT.
I GET A TEXT FROM MY MATE GAV SAYING -- WE'RE ALL ON A TEXT
CHAIN -- AND IT SAYS, HEY, MAN, FUNNY STORY...
[LAUGHTER] THAT'S WHAT HE SAYS, HEY, MAN,
FUNNY STORY. WE MISSED THE FLIGHT.
SHOLD WE STILL UBER TO YOU OR ARE YOU GOOD TO PICK US UP FROM
THE AIRPORT? I'M LIKE, NO, IF YOU LAND AT
6:30, I'LL NEVER MAKE IT OUT THERE TO GET THERE.
TRAFFIC WILL BE AWFUL. I SHOULD PROBABLY CANCEL OUR
DINNER RESERVATION. WE WERE ALL GOING TO GO TO A
RESTAURANT. I SHOULD PROBABLY CANCEL THAT
DINNER RESERVATION. GAV SAYS, WE WILL NEED TO EAT,
THOUGH, SO IF YOU CAN FIGURE THAT OUT.
[LAUGHTER] I DON'T THINK HE ACTUALLY EVEN
PUT "WE WILL NEED TO EAT." HE PUT SOMETHING ELSE, HANG ON
IT WAS WORSE THAN THAT. SO I SAID, I WON'T GET TO L .A.X.
IN TIME. THE TRAFFIC WILL BE AWFUL.
MAYBE JUST COME TO MY HOUSE AND I'LL TAKE YOU TO THE HOTEL FROM
THERE. I SHOULD PROBABLY CANCEL DINNER.
SORRY IT'S BEEN AWFUL. WE WILL NEED FOOD OF SOME SORT.
[LAUGHTER] WE'LL COME TO YOURS.
IS THERE SOMEWHERE NEAR THE HOTEL?
I PUT, WELL, THERE'S THE ACTUAL HOTEL.
[LAUGHTER] WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
CHASE SAID BACK, WHAT'S THE FOOD LIKE AT THE HOTEL?
[LAUGHTER] 45-YEAR-OLD MEN!
[LAUGHTER] SO I'VE NO IDEA WHAT THE FOOD'S
LIKE. HE PUT, NO WORRIES.
[LAUGHTER] YOU'RE NOT RUSHING OFF, ARE YOU?
THERE'LL BE NO RUSHING OFF? STICKING AROUND FOR A MINUTE?
STICKING AROUND, BECAUSE I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS GUY.
THIS GUY, THIS GUY FILLED IN FOR CALVIN HARRIS IN VEGAS FOR A
WEEK AND NO ONE NOTICED. [LAUGHTER]
THIS GUY STILL GREETS HIS FRIENDS BY GOING WAAZZZUUUUUP!
THIS GUY WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT HE'S NOT TRYING TO REPLACE YOUR
DAD, HE'S JUST TRYING TO HIT IT AND QUIT IT
WITH YOUR MOM. I'D LOVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT
THIS GUY. THIS GUY DOESN'T TRUST THE
VACCINE, BUT WILL SWALLOW ANY PILL HANDED TO HIM AT A PARTY
WITHOUT GIVING IT A SECOND THOUGHT.
[APPLAUSE] LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS
GUY. THIS GUY WISHES HE WAS BATMAN
BECAUSE HE HATES HIS PARENTS. [LAUGHTER]
THIS GUY'S COSTUME IS PRETTY FUN UNTIL YOU REALIZE HE'S WEARING
IT AT A CUSTODY HEARING. [LAUGHTER]
THIS GUY IS LIKE A BAT BECAUSE HE'S DARK, MYSTERIOUS AND
RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SPREAD OF COVID.
[LAUGHTER] LAUREN, CAN YOU STICK AROUND FOR
ONE MORE? >> I CAN STICK AROUND.
>> James: BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS GUY.
THIS GUY, AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER, THIS GUY HAS BEEN
MARRIED TO EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF FLEETWOOD MAC.
[LAUGHTER] THIS GUY WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT
YES, THE CARPET DOES MATCH THE DRAPES.
[LAUGHTER] AND COULD HE PLEASE BORROW SOME
SCISSORS, BECAUSE THE CARPET IS CURRENTLY TANGLED UP ON A STORM
DRAIN. [LAUGHTER]
I'D LOVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS GUY.
THIS GUY IS NO LONGER ALLOWED AT P.T.A. MEETINGS BECAUSE HE KEEPS
YELLING ABOUT MANDATES AND ALSO DOESN'T HAVE CHILDREN.
[LAUGHTER] THIS GUY BREATHED A HUGE SIGH OF
RELIEF WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED NO FOUL PLAY WAS SUSPECTED IN THE
DEATH OF LARRY KING. [LAUGHTER]
I'D LOVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS GUY.
THIS GUY IS THE LAST THING YOU SEE BEFORE YOU DIE OF AN
AYAHUASCA OVERDOSE AT BURNING MAN.
THIS GUY WAS OFFERED A RED PILL OR A BLUE PILL AND TOOK THEM
BOTH BEFORE IT WAS EVEN EXPLAINED WHAT THEY DID.
[LAUGHTER] THIS GUY'S COSTUME?
GUY WHO GOT HERPES FROM A POOL NOODLE.
[LAUGHTER] FINALLY, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THIS GUY. THIS GUY DOESN'T DO ANY DRUGS,
UNLESS YOU CONSIDER COCAINE A DRUG.
THAT WAS DOGS IN SUNGLASSES. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JARED
LETO.