-Welcome back.
I’m here with Larry David, everybody. Now come on.
Thank you for coming back to the show.
-I just want to make an observation, okay?
-Sure. -Every talk show
I’ve ever done, they give the guests some water.
You know, there’s a...
Like, I see you have -- you have a cup.
You have your own cup. -Yeah, I’m fully hydrated.
-I don’t understand why -- why I don’t have a cup.
What is this? -This is for you.
-Ah, okay. That’s been here the whole time?
-No. -Okay.
[ Laughter ]
-I just did it just that now really quick.
-I don’t even want to. -I wouldn’t touch it.
I don’t even sure what -- That’s been there for 10 years.
Yeah, sorry. -Thank you.
-No problem. -That’s really nice.
-I want to -- I want to pick your brain here, Larry David.
-Eww, what a disgusting expression.
-It is weird, right? I don’t even normally say that.
I don’t know why, but I want to pick your brain.
-Pick my brain? Eww. -[ Laughs ]
Maybe that’s how surgeons talk, though.
-I got a question for you. Okay?
-Okay. Let me ask --
let me ask you a question. -Sure.
So I know this guy, okay?
And he’s... [ Laughs ]
I’m laughing, but it’s true.
He’s -- he’s got one eye, okay? He’s only got one eye.
-Okay. -He’s blind in the other eye.
-Okay. -So I guess --
I guess he’s half blind,
but he’s still got one eye. I can still see, okay?
-Sure. -But this guy’s got a --
he’s got a bit of a...
He takes advantage of the fact that it only has one eye.
-How? -Well, he’s a -- he’s a belcher.
He belches. Okay? He belches.
-Uh-huh. -It’s disgusting.
-Yeah. -But because he has the one eye,
he takes advantage of the one eye
because he knows nobody is going to correct him.
Hey, what are you -- what are you doing?
You know, what are you belching for?
Hey, I got one eye, man, you know? Don’t talk...
-Yeah. -Don’t -- don’t --
don’t talk to me like that.
-Okay? -So people --
people are giving deference because of the one eye.
But the point is it’s not that bad.
I mean, he can -- he can still see.
So I guess my question -- -What is the question?
Yeah, I don't understand.
[ Laughter ]
-The question is, would you say anything to him
about the belching or...?
[ Laughter ]
Or go ahead, say something. I’ll be the guy. Go ahead.
-Hey, uh...
-You can call me Larry. -Okay.
[ Laughter ]
-Uh, hey, Larry...
Is everything okay? -Is there a problem?
-Well, no. It’s just -- -What’s the problem?
Well, just -- [ Laughter ]
-Is there a problem?
-No, I’m having a great -- no. -What? What do you want?
You got something you want. to say to me?
-No, no, no, no, no, no, I’m having a great --
-What do you want to say? -I’m having a great time.
I’m having a great time.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, you can’t say anything. Yeah.
-You can’t say. -You can’t say anything.
Uh...
Maybe you say -- maybe. -I’m sorry.
I apologize for bringing up my friend with the eye.
-No. -I think I’m going to
get in trouble for it because he knows
he’s got one eye. -Yeah.
-He’s going to watch this. -Yeah.
-He’s going to know it’s him. -Yeah.
-And now he’s going to know that he’s belching.
And in a way this is good.
-This is good. -This is good.
-This is how you tell him. -This is how you tell him.
This is perfect. This is actually perfect.
[ Cheers and applause ]
"Curb Your Enthusiasm" is on this Sunday at 10:00.
It’s the funniest show. I love it so much.
Congratulations on a great run.
Would you like to set up this clip?
-Oh, yeah. Okay, okay.
So somebody, a guy I know is in the hospital,
and somehow -- I didn’t really know him that well --
but somehow I got on this text chain, okay?
I don’t know if you’ve ever been on a text chain,
but I’m on this text chain, and I -- and I hate it.
And I run into someone else who’s on the text chain, okay?
-That’s what this is. -Fantastic.
Here’s Larry David in "Curb Your Enthusiasm."
Take a look. -I don’t know if you saw
my niece sent a great photo
of Stu and her by the lake. -Uh-huh, yeah.
That was really, uh, cute.
-Cute? -Yeah.
-You think you’re too good for the chain?
-You know what, Waylon? Is that your name?
-Yeah. -I do.
I think I’m too good for the chain.
-Oh, sorry, you don’t want to help your friend.
-Help? -You know, it takes minimal
effort just to reply.
Even a "ha-ha" or a thumbs up. -Oh, really?
Are there funny things on there that require a ha-ha?
--If you read through it, there’s a -- there’s a lot of --
-Can I be honest with you? -Please?
-I’m overwhelmed by this chain. Every two minutes it’s ding.
I’m getting a ding I’m getting a ding.
Too many dings. And what is it?
It’s just these ridiculous, inspirational sentiments
that amount to nothing, they're all trite.
I don’t even know why people bother to write them.
-It’s been a really hard time for the family.
And you want me to give it a ha-ha? A ha-ha?
-Or a heart, that’s also an option.
But it seems like that’s too much for you.
-You know, it’s too much for me.
This chain is too much for me. I want off this chain.
-Once you’re off the chain, you can’t get back in.
-Oh, don't -- don’t say that. Really?
-I would text this to you, but I know you won’t read it.
So here’s the real life emoji. There you go.
-Oh! I’ll give that a ha-ha.
-No, ha-ha to you. -Ha-ha!
-Ha-ha to you.
-Come on.
Come on, bud.
That’s how you do it right there. Larry David, everybody.
Season 12 of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" premieres
this Sunday at 10 P.M. on HBO.
Also streaming on MAX. We’ll be right back with Cole Sprouse.