What's that, make a YouTube video?
Ugh, but I'm so comfortable
Okay, just for you guys!
So Dan, what's new with your life?
Any exciting hobbies, eating all the vegetables, and doing all the exercise?
*nervous laugh*
Of course.
But there is exciting news, I have discovered the secret of getting out of bed
Surely one of the greatest problems our generation faces
Last weekend, I slept in for about 3 hours
I must've pressed snooze like 9 times, I don't even know how it's horrific
*alien music* *laughs*
Why the hell is this my alarm
Now as got out of bed so late I didn't really achieve much that day
and when there are loads of things you'd like to do but you only have a few days off
and you spend those days snoozing
We have a problem
Do you see my problem?
So why on some mornings, when I had a perfectly fine amount of sleep
Does getting out of bed feel like I'm forcibly ejecting my self out of my blankety womb
Well sometimes if I'm dreading something I have to do that day
It's like if I just stay in bed and try to sleep a little longer it might not actually have to happen
*alien music*
*snore*
ugh, come on dreams give me something, anything
the one where I get probed by the alien that looks like Miley Cyrus
If I decide to sleep with my laptop next to me I realize that I don't really have any reason to get out of the bed
So things like food and water and human company aren't really that necessary
And it's just comfortable it's nice to lie there
Why should we have to move
Especially if it's cold now that is perfectly understandable
When I'm under a soft igloo of warmth and the biting winds of the industrial freezer that is my bedroom lies on the outside
I ain't getting into that
I mean in reality it just looks like this
*crickets*
But it feels like your in the middle of f*cking Antarctica
I mean us humans don't have to hunt animals to stay alive
But unlike bears we can't just hibernate through our responsibilities
Which of us has it worse
Which is why we wear pajamas right?
But the problem they cause is that if I don't actually have to leave the house that day
I probably won't ever take them off, and the day is ruined
You see pajamas aren't just an item of clothing
They're a state of mind
I wake up in pajamas and have a lazy pajama morning
This lazy pajama morning then turns into
A lazy pajama afternoon
Which turns into a lazy pajama evening
And the cycle endlessly repeats
It's an oroboros of sloth
So Dan getting back to the bloody point
I wanna do things with my life how do I get out of bed
Well you see when I investigated this I read all the common tips
Put your alarm clock across the room so you have to get up to turn it off
Ugh
Plan a fun morning activity that you'll want to get up to go do
mmmm
nom
Drink 47 pints of water before you sleep
Or get up and do some exercise
Pffffff
And they're all right they work but the truth is they're kind of just excuses
There is only one real answer
And it may not be the answer you deserve
But it may be the answer you need right now
When your laying in bed thinking about all the things you could be doing but your just sat there going
But I'm so comfortable
You just have to ask yourself
Are you ready to cease the next day of the rest of your life
Or are you just going to lay there like a WUSS
And that's what happened to me, one day I was just lying there and
To be honest this happened in between snoozes, so it was probably a dream
And I saw myself next to my bed and I said
Rise and shine motherf*cker it's a brand new day
Are you going to stay in bed like a WUSS
Or are you going to GET UP AND GRAB LIFE BY THE TIT BALLS
mmm
Are you a wuss
No
Are you a wuss
No
IS YOU A WUSS!
I'm not a wuss
You are going to jump up in
3
2
1
RAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah! You go show the world
And put some clothes on Jesus Christ I don't want to see that
And that friends is how I learned how to get out of bed
Yeah I'm awake I'm out of bed
I'm going to live my life
What I said this would be good for getting out of bed not anything else
Can't expect me to change any time soon
True story
If that touched you in all the right places and you'd like to see more of my videos
Then you can click here to subscribe to my channel to be told when I make a new one
*snap*
But I wanna know why you guys find it hard to get out of bed or maybe you have some gimmicky tips on how to
That aren't just facing the harsh truth
Leave me a comment down below
And I will see you soon
If I ever get out of bed
*Laughs*
Sike
Ok Bye