Dennis.
[music playing]
NARRATOR: For our next story, we head to Kauai County, Hawaii.
The defendant is William Dennis, who's
in court without a lawyer to face the charge of driving
with a suspended license.
Good morning.
NARRATOR: All eyes are on Dennis as he approaches.
Clad in a blue robe and a headpiece,
he immediately addresses the court.
Well, my knowledge of the facts
is would this claim of the standing with this microphone--
JUDGE: Sir?
--of the documentation with the continuation--
JUDGE: Sir! - --of the evidence--
JUDGE: Sir!
--by this peaceful, hyphen, malicious.
NARRATOR: Dennis has been rambling
for more than 10 seconds now, but the judge
allows him to continue.
Sir, unless you stand there, you're
not being recorded anyway.
Well, the claimant's knowledge of the facts
is with avoidance of the boxes and planes
with this closed, hyphen, area, hyphen,
court, hyphen, room by the unity, hyphen, consciousness.
NARRATOR: Dennis obviously has a thing for hyphens.
So the judge attempts to get things back on track
with a simple question.
OK, what's your name?
Well, my knowledge of my peaceful, hyphen, volition
is with avoidance of the perjury with this participation
of correct, hyphen, sentence, hyphen, structure,
hyphen, communication, hyphen, passe, hyphen,
syntax, hyphen, grammar.
NARRATOR: If you're counting at home,
that is seven hyphens in just that answer alone.
Thankfully, the judge steps in.
OK, well, we have a lot of folks waiting here,
and I would hope that you would be
courteous to the other human beings
that are in the courtroom today waiting their turn to be heard.
What do other human beings call you?
Well, my knowledge of the facts--
NARRATOR: Perhaps hoping to avoid an extended answer,
the prosecutor chimes in.
PROSECUTOR: Your Honor, the--
JUDGE: OK.
--he is known to the state already as--
JUDGE: William N. Dennis.
PROSECUTOR: Yes, as Mr. Dennis.
The court will find that I have
known him from prior occasions.
This is going to be dismissed with prejudice.
However, in order for his driver's license
to be reinstated, there are reinstatement requirements
that he must fulfill at a-- at licensing.
OK, Mr. Dennis, first of all, I'll grant the motion.
It will be dismissed with prejudice.
PROSECUTOR: OK, thank you.
NARRATOR: "Dismissed with prejudice" means
the case is permanently over, done, finished.
But Dennis would like to keep going.
I'm-- for my knowledge of my peaceful, hyphen,
volition is with this calling of the cooperation with the human,
hyphen, beings of this court, hyphen, room,
with the creation of a sanctuary with the purpose
of the knowledge, hyphen, sharing, comma, mind, hyphen,
body, hyphen, healing, and organic, hyphen, food,
hyphen, growing with the free cost
of the people with the public.
Mr. Dennis, I believe the state is being very
patient and tolerant with you.
You're free to go.
PROSECUTOR: Thank you, Mr. Dennis.
NARRATOR: It seems everyone wants this case over-- that
is, except for the defendant.
To my knowledge of my peaceful, hyphen,
volition, is with this calling of the cooperation--
JUDGE: Sir.
--with the human, hyphen, beings of this court,
hyphen, room.
JUDGE: You're being disrespectful.
--with the creation of--
NARRATOR: Dennis can't quite see the gift he's been given
and throws out a few more hyphens.
Mind, hyphen, body, hyphen, healing and organic, hyphen,
food, hyphen, growing--
JUDGE: Sir--
With the free of the ca--
Please, please have a seat in the front.
--of the ca--
JUDGE: Please.
NARRATOR: It takes some assistance from the bailiff
for Dennis to get the message.
But on his way back to the gallery,
he gets a few more hyphens in just for good measure.
Male, hyphen, livery, by the correct, hyphen, sentence,
hyphen, structure, hyphen, communication,
hyphen, passe, hyphen, syntax, hyphen, grammar.
Sir, please have a seat in the front row.