Hello tiktakers! Do you like Harry Potter? This question might sound a bit
strange, specially because we won't be talking about this famous franchise
today. Instead, we'll be focusing our attention on the character Dobby. Those of
you familiar with him will know that he's the domestic elf of the Malfoy
family. And if you are not familiar with him,
you can pause the video and do a web search about him if you wish.
Now, you might be wondering why are we talking about Dobby. Well
tiktakers, it turns out that a particular psychological disorder is named after this
character... and yes, you heard us right. Dobby had a good heart, but was
extremely insecure, and would frequently engage in self-harm when he didn't
fulfill the expectations of his owners, or when he believed he was doing
something incorrectly. The scenes where Dobby starts hitting his head against
the wall, or other objects, are pretty well known among Harry Potter fans.
Dobby doesn't realize it, but he demands too much from himself, and the guilt
overwhelms him. And this is precisely what is known as the Dobby Effect. The
people who suffer from it feel guilty for doing something and not fulfilling
expectations, or for not doing something expected from them.
This might seem pretty normal, since it happens to all of us throughout our
lives. However, this becomes a serious issue when it happens constantly, and
we never stop feeling guilty. People who experience this disorder frequently
punish themselves, and blame themselves too harshly and frequently for every
mistake they make. They can experience intense episodes of anxiety, and even
sink into depression.
We sometimes disappoint ourselves, and other times we believe that our
environment is negatively affected by our behaviors: We want so badly to be
liked by the people around us that, when we don't achieve it, we feel extremely
guilty. Fulfilling our own expectations, or other people's expectations, is
something that always generates tension. Thus, it's important to learn how to be
rational in such situations, and see what our real responsibilities are.
One situation where the Dobby Effect tends to appear frequently is maternity:
Many women suffer from what's known as postpartum depression, and feel
guilty for feeling bad when society says that they should be feeling happier
than ever. Nobody should feel bad about themselves as a person just for having
an illness or a disorder, tiktakers – what's important is to detect what's wrong,
and ask for help. A mother is not a worse mother for suffering postpartum
depression. Never! There are many similar situations
in our day to day lives, and we can confirm that the Dobby Effect can appear when we are
very little, and can stay with us until we become old. In fact,
experts usually study the Dobby Effect focusing on children: Sometimes fathers and mothers
can be responsible for this disorder, when they demand
too much from their children and reward them very little. Many times, parents like these are
people who take their frustrations out on other people.
The Dobby Effect can lead us to experience very difficult situations: There are
people who punish themselves, but there are also people who allow others to
punish them, since they believe that's the price to pay for not fulfilling other
people's expectations. This can lead to domestic violence situations, where the
person suffering from the Dobby Effect can end up believing that they deserve
particular punishments. Either way tiktakers: Sometimes,
guilt can certainly be useful for us to learn from our mistakes. However, it's important
to know how to control and limit it, and if you feel your guilt is spiraling
out of control, it would be better if you ask a professional for help.
Like Tik and Tak always say: Mental health is very important, so don't neglect it!