Another dumb, f_____g Kanye / Get Out reference.
It's like...
People are so f_____g dumb and stupid.
Hey, I'm Kim Kardashian-West, and I'm gonna read headlines, and I'm gonna rewrite them
and tell you what really happened.
The first headline, "'My son is a genius!'
Kim Kardashian claims Saint, aged two, has a high IQ, because he can spell gargantuan
as he nests at home with third baby."
That's pretty accurate.
I would just keep that as-is.
Saint West is a genius, and he did spell gargantuan.
That was his first word, that he's ever spelled.
So, pretty crazy for a two-year-old.
"Chubby-faced, 22-year-old Kris Jenner, models in never-before-seen shots."
I actually tweeted about this, because this headline really bothered me, because it didn't
say "chubby-faced," it just said "chubby Kris Jenner."
And she definitely was not chubby.
She was 22 years old and gorgeous and stunning.
So, I would say, "OMG!
Stunningly beautiful, youthful Kris Jenner models in never-before-seen shots."
"Kim Kardashian proves a third baby won't stop her form posting racy photos."
I would keep that as-is, as well.
Because, a third baby will not stop me from posting racy photos.
I think I will always post whatever I want to post, and nothing will stop me.
"Now, people believe that Kylie Jenner is secretly Kim Kardashian's surrogate."
She's definitely not my surrogate.
Our surrogate is on our show.
So, you'll be able to see that experience.
"Kanye West sends Kim Kardashian emails about what's hot and what's not."
Absolutely, he does!
Kanye sent me an email about to not wear huge sunglasses anymore.
And what he does is, he'll just send me amazing mood boards and great references of smaller
glasses, and say, like, "Oh my God, you have to, like, have your team find these."
And like, "These look really cool.
You should be wearing these."
So, he sends me inspirational emails.
But he'll do it, whether it's, like, home décor, whether it's, like, vacation spots.
He sends me these mood boards, of like, the best home décor that just gets me so excited
for, like, furniture shopping.
So, yes, he's really good at that.
"Fear not!
Kim Kardashian's hair will always be done, per her will."
Absolutely.
I made a section that if I am so out of it, that I can't even communicate, and I'm like,
s______g on myself, I definitely need my hair, my nails, and my makeup done.
I want to look as good as possible.
So, I would rewrite this headline to say, "Kim Kardashian's hair, makeup, and nails
will always be done, per her will."
"Kourtney Kardashian frees the nipple on date with Justin Bieber."
I've never heard of this.
I have no idea.
Again, I don't speak about other sisters and what they're doing.
"Kourtney Kardashian taking aim at Kylie's cosmetics empire with her own line."
I've never heard of this.
So, I don't know if Khloe's coming out with her own line.
I saw that online.
I forgot to ask her.
So, I don't think that's true.
At all.
"Kris Jenner really is trying to trademark the work 'momager' for new lifestyle brand."
Kris Jenner HAS trademarked the word "momager," and that was... a decade ago.
If I were an editor for the day, I think I would actually just put out, like, real headlines.
Like, "Was that a crib being delivered to Kylie's house?"
No, you guys are so dumb.
Does a crib look that big?