And I think that's where I am, like, with Kirsten and I. Like,
from our conversations, like, even with the whole,
you know, coming to Memphis thing, and didn't come,
it was like, you didn't come.
OK, cool, we can get past it.
But then when I told her how I felt, she was like, OK,
I'm pulling out my calendar now.
I'm putting it on my schedule.
What time do I need to be there? And I was like, Kirsten--
- Yeah, it's not just that. - I just wanted to--
Do you want to come?
Like, I want you to be there, but do you want to be there?
Do you want to be present in the moment?
I was like--
Not just like putting on and chat everybody up.
Like, I don't want you to just do it
just because you don't want everybody to get on your ass,
like, afterwards.
Like, I want you there.
He did say, like, obviously there's
times where, like, you're just on different pages at times.
And like, obviously the event thing was a big one.
But now you know.
And so it's like, he wants to make sure,
like, you want to be there and not just,
like, Well, I'm going because-- - You're just going-- yeah.
--he wants me to go.
Once I feel secure and have that energy within our marriage
and we're spending time together,
and that supportive side continues to grow,
like, I'll definitely be there, you know.
Yeah.
Like, it'll become more natural.
And like, sometimes I just want it
to feel more natural as well.
It's just hard because it's like, you have,
like, this small amount of time to make
all of these life decisions.
It's kind of like, the pressure is on.
I also feel like there's no way
you're going to have every answer to every question
by decision day.
So that shouldn't weigh on your decision.
You're always going to have roadblocks in your marriage.
And if you're at a place to where
you feel like there's a possibility, then you should--
then you should keep pushing for it.
- We just want to be happy. - Yeah.
Like-- and we both talked about it.
Like, every day, it's like the constant struggle
of what we got to do right.
Like, we want to enjoy each other in our marriage,
like, become each other's best friend,
biggest supporter slash best--
And y'all can change that narrative, though.
Yeah.
So that's what we're working towards.
- Yeah. - So--
And I feel like there's so much pressure on decision day
because there is.
It's a day we have to make a decision.
But I mean, Chris and I are already making
plans for beyond decision day.
And we definitely are in a love bubble,
but because we're both so rational,
it's a bubble that was rationally
and logistically created to make the most sense for us.
And you know, he's very chill, and I'm very not chill.
So we can't be wishy-washy.
We need to figure out, what does it look like when it's just us,
and what does the day after decision day look like?
Yeah.
I'm more of like a laid back--
I think I'm more-- my personality is more like yours.
I'm, like, laid back, kind of--
Yeah.
But I've been able to communicate with her
and get her on a point where she's, like, talks thoroughly
through things with me so that we can move past it
so it's not like we're talking about the same thing day
after day.
So she's been willing to grow in that aspect,
and that's been great. So yeah.
And I think that there's--
I mean, with Clint, I'm very much like an easygoing,
go with the flow person.
And I don't point out the small things that
bother me that I've noticed.
I mean, one thing is like, I'm surprised that Clint
actually, like, found the bed because he
was pretty drunk last night.
Are we all going to start this party off with a shot?
Shot.
Woo.
Time for a shot.
That's an easy drinker.
He couldn't find his pajamas.
I found his pajamas for him.
I feel like you really take good care of him, you know,
when he is under the influence or whatnot.
Yeah.
I think that says a lot about you.
Yeah. I mean, I care about Clint.
Yeah.
But if I were to ask anyone, they wouldn't
want that in a marriage.
That's not something that's attractive that you're like,
oh, I can't-- - That's right.
--wait to get that guy.
There is a world where we-- we actually could continue, right?
Yeah.
There's a possibility.
Something could change in our relationship,
and we're like, wow, now all of a sudden I am attracted.
I just don't know.
And I'm not going to pretend that I know.
I don't want him to have to be a different person around me,
but he's never felt that attraction for me either.
And so he doesn't see me as someone
that he needs to impress, or he needs to fight for,
or he needs to work for or complement.
So like, I've never felt like a wife in this,
because we've only been friends.
And there's never been an initiative of like, oh, I'm
going to go out of my way to, like,
try to really build a marriage.
[pop music] Find it inside to find
a little more, a little more, a little more, a little more.
[pop music] I know who I am and who I used to be.
I want everything.
I want everything that's coming to me.
[sighs]
Beautiful view.
I know.
So how was y'all talk today?
It was pretty good.
I think everybody kind of, like, spoke positive.
We was asking, like, the advice we've given their spouses,
has it helped in their marriage.
And they're like-- all like, yeah.
What-- what did you guys talk about for you and I?
When they asked about you and I,
I said Kirsten and I are just working on-- to really
just get on the same page.
But I feel like that's really the hardest
part of our marriage, is just really being on one accord
and understanding each other and whenever I need to express
myself or say how I'm feeling, just have
those conversations with you.
I know decision day is coming up,
and I feel like you and I still need to have, like,
deeper conversations on where we see this marriage going
and what we still want out of this marriage.
Looking at it from my perspective,
that has been a consistent thing over the weeks now--
we need to talk more, and we need
to get to know each other more.
And it's like, Kirsten, we are.
We're still talking.
It's not like we just coming in the house
and don't say nothing to each other,
shower, and then get into bed.
It's never that.
It's never been that.
We do have our conversations sometimes.
We do.
Is it sometimes or all the time?
It's not all the time.
It's sometimes, to me.
I feel like we have conversations sometimes.
Even with that, we've got to get on the same page.
Like, the need to have a conversation,
it's not really a need to me.
I want it to happen.
It's not a need.
What's not a need?
Like, the conversations, like, to learn.
Because I'm learning.
I watch you.
I observe you a lot.
But it's a need for me.
I am very concerned that Shaquille
may not know how to give me that attention that I need.
So if I was to say no on decision day,
it would be because Shaquille couldn't meet
my expectations as far as, like, finding
the balance in our marriage.
I don't want us to be in a marriage
to where the both of us are not feeling secure,
are not feeling heard and not feeling like we both want
to be with each other.
So where do we go from here?
Working to get on the same page.
You feel like that's possible?
Mm-hmm.
I know it's possible.
I just don't want our marriage to feel like a struggle.
[music playing]