- This feels like it's sort of only legal on the internet.
That's funny.
Wowee.
(Phil laughs)
(mellow music)
Hello, you lot.
My name's Phil Dunster.
You guys are watching Buzzfeed "Thirst Tweets."
And it's about to get smutty all up in here.
I'm feeling excited to venture
into the deep dark corners of the web.
Okay, number one, "Phil Dunster, if you ever see this,
if I could give you the moon, I'd give you the moon."
I'm not sure what I'd do with the moon
unless they're saying the moon isn't like...
Moon me and show their bottom, which I'm okay with.
"Phil Dunster has no business being this cute.
He's like a little ray of sunshine."
And then an emoji that goes like...
"Where is Phil Dunster? I want to kiss him."
I'm right here, Twitter user.
I'm right here.
"Phil Dunster is so baby girl. It's insane."
What is ba...? I don't know what baby girl means.
I have seen this before and I think I'm flattered.
Does it mean cute? Is that like...
That's less thirsty and more nourishing, I think.
"Phil Dunster be my boyfriend challenge."
What does that mean?
Also, I mean, this just goes to show how non-Gen Z I am.
There's no capitals in this or punctuation,
and so I am just immediately off the back confused.
Is that like be my boyfriend, challenge.
Like I challenge you to do it
or is that a natural challenge?
"Jamie Tartt is my baby boy, my sweet little angel
and no one is allowed to ever hurt him."
Well, speak to Man City about that
because they get all up in his business.
"The way Phil Dunster says Keeley is incredible and hot."
I mean, the way I say Keeley is probably quite dull
but I think the way that Jamie Tartt says Keeley
is probably what they are referring to.
Incredible and hot.
Incredibly hot?
No, but incredible and hot.
"Okay, so when are we getting a rom-com
starring Phil Dunster and Brett Goldstein?"
My God, is season three not enough for you?
Is that not rom-com enough?
I feel like most sort of phone calls
that Brett and I have are mini rom-coms in themselves.
Less com, more rom.
"Phil Dunster know how to be hot."
If it's a directive, it says I've got a lot to learn,
but I appreciate the sentiment.
But again, there is no capital letters,
so I do wonder is that a thing?
Are people doing that on purpose
that they're not actually...
Do you have to go and cancel it and then make it lowercase?
That's effort, man.
"Give Phil Dunster an Emmy 'cause why am I,
as a lesbian, having to pause this show
to giggle and kick my feet about Jamie Tartt?"
I don't know if I can be the one to answer this
as a mostly straight white dude,
but I dunno if giggling and kicking your feet
about a fictional character is enough
to perhaps turn your sexuality.
I don't know.
I don't wanna be the one to tell you, random Twitter user.
But it's a very cute image.
"Phil dancing. Baby, let me talk to you."
(Phil laughs)
Baby, let me talk to you.
I don't know what the emoji is.
Oh, it's hot emoji.
Can you see that?
It looks a bit like there's horns and maybe it's horny.
"When Phil Dunster goes...
I lose a part of my soul, for real."
Quite pleased with myself
that I knew that "FR" means for real.
He gets his tongue out quite a lot, doesn't he, Jamie?
And that's the end of that sentence.
"Jamie Tartt the juicy butt."
There's a sort of lack of description around a lot of it
and I quite like that sort of deconstructed sentences.
You could say it in many different ways.
Jamie Tartt, the juicy butt.
Jamie Tartt... The juicy butt.
I'm gonna take some credit for the juicy butt.
It's not all Jamie Tart, it's a little bit Phil Dunster.
Okay, now this does have an initialism
or an abbreviation that I don't know
but I'm gonna give it a go.
"Phil Dunster fine as fook idec."
I don't even care?
Ah!
"Phil dance to fine as fook, I don't even care."
Again, no capital.
What's going on?
Who's got that much time to go back and do it?
I know that's not the point of this,
but grammar is what gets me hot under the collar.
"Jamie Tartt is so (bleep) sexy.
I need to speak my truth."
You've spoken it and I appreciate it.
It's Jacky Levy who is in charge of costume
and she puts him in some pretty naughty clobber,
as they call it.
This is another challenge.
Feel like we stepped up a gear with this one.
"Jamie Tartt and Roy Kent rail each other,
then me, challenge."
(Phil laughs)
Rail each other.
It's such an image, isn't it?
Let's just take a moment to re....
Yeah, yeah.
Ooh, yeah.
Oof, oof.
Sore feels like things are sore.
Okay, there's an emoji at the end of this one.
"I'd let Phil Dunster film me like a dumpster."
This feels like it's sort of only legal on the internet.
"I'd let Phil Dunster pee on me, just saying."
I don't know how to say this
but I feel like that might be a step too far
in the relationship that we have, random Twitter user.
If we maybe get to know each other, I don't know.
And you buy me a drink or a few drinks.
I'd need to be quite well hydrated for that.
"Blonde Phil Dunster could kill me
and my ghost would say, 'Thank you, baby.'"
(Phil chuckles)
Again, there's a lot of sort of sadomasochism here.
"What the (bleep) is Jamie Tartt so sexy for.
Like, what do you want from me?
To kneel, to bend over? Say it."
I want you to be happy, random Twitter user.
And if it means you kneeling or bending over,
then please do it.
"Jamie Tartt could break my heart and my back,
punch me in the face, run over me with his 500K sports car,
and spit in my mouth and I would totally let him.
And then I would kiss the ground he walked on."
Wowee, there's a lot of pain with this.
It's not just like, I'd like him to take me out for a date.
Hold my hand as we walk home.
Tell me I look beautiful.
I wouldn't run you over, wouldn't punch you.
I might spit in your mouth.
I don't really know.
It depends if the moment takes me.
I certainly wouldn't break your heart.
I'd hold your hand and I'd make you feel secure and warm.
Well, guys, I've been Phil Dunster.
You've been thirsty AF.
I've have had a great time.
If you've been watching this
and been like, "Who the hell is this guy?"
I'd understand, but if you go and watch "Ted Lasso"
on Apple TV Plus, you might have a better idea.
Cheers, then. Bye.
(Phil chuckles)
(soft mellow music)