so years of wanting to be thinner you finally find keto get down to your goal weight and then
we're still not satisfied today we're talking about why it is that achieving our goal weight
doesn't actually automatically cause us to feel like we're healthy to look at ourselves as healthy
hello Wellness Warriors welcome to Mind Blowing Health and Wellness with Violet i'm Violet your
keel psychologist the reason i make these videos is to help you to understand when mental health
and physical health are working well together we get that overall sense of well-being
if you know anyone who could use this information feel free to share the video and please don't
forget to subscribe wellness warriors i want to walk you through the most common ideas that i
hear from people who've lost weight but they're still not happy with themselves and we're going
to talk about what you can do differently to make sure that you are satisfied with your outcomes and
the first one is my body wasn't able to be thin while doing a standard american diet i'm different
what's wrong with me and the reason that i feel that most people even though they've lost weight
and they're at their goal still look at themselves in this way is because they haven't really taken
the time to understand what it is about keto that helped them to lose the weight and why it is that
in fact their body wasn't able to manage all those carbohydrates so if i tell myself that i'm
different there's something wrong with me because i wasn't able to eat the standard american diet
and be thin like everybody else the thing that i'm not allowing myself to understand is that
everybody else isn't doing it okay yes there are thin people on the standard american diet
they have different issues than you have one of the things as a society that we need to start to
understand is that it's not what people tell us about their lives that's the most important as
what they're actually living in their life that's the most important so the same way that i wasn't
walking around when i was overweight crying about how much i didn't want to be overweight
although i think if anyone would have asked me i for sure would have verbalized it for
that i didn't want to be at the weight that i was i didn't walk around talking about it
the same way that when i was in my 20s i didn't walk around talking about all the inflammation
and joint well i didn't always inflation at times but all the joint pains that i had
and my road to what i thought was arthritis that was happening nobody knew about that
nobody knew i was struggling with this idea i knew it because i was the one living it
what's important for us to keep in mind is that if i happen to be heavy on the standard american diet
that means that my body is taking those carbohydrates that i'm eating
and storing them safely away as fat which is what my body's supposed to do
there are a lot of people that are thin on the standard american diet they have heart disease
pcos or other metabolic issues happening internally they have alzheimer's or well
maybe not alzheimer's yet when they get older that might turn into alzheimer's but they have memory
uh issues and brain fog and they have a hard time thinking straight there's a lot of doctors right
now that feel like a lot of the brain issues that our young people have might be related to
the amount of sugars they're eating i'm not going to go into details of that you can look at the
doctors my point is there's internal damage that's happening to our bodies that we ignore
because you can't see it but all those people that are living it all those people that are forgetful
all those people that have no energy all those people that they're just living a different issue
i want you to consider something would you rather have a car where acid rain is causing it to have
rust spots on the exterior so that you can see those rust spots and know that it's happening
or a car where the exterior looks beautiful but the acid rain is going inside and damaging apart
that means that maybe tomorrow you go to start the car to drive away and it doesn't move
its kaput is finished a lot of us would choose the external damage because at least i can monitor
that and i can use my car versus that internal damage that at some point stops the car from
just functioning altogether and we need to think about that of our body it's not because i can
see the fact that the fat is worse than my heart not working my liver being destroyed
my eyes being destroyed or any of the other internals that are being destroyed by sugar
the other idea that i hear a lot is that i'm going to be stuck on this diet forever
this idea is coming from the fact that you're more focused on being thin than being healthy
and likely you began the ketogenic diet looking at it like a diet a short-term thing i'm going to do
that's going to lower my weight and allow me then to return to eating normally and so now this
idea that oh my goodness in order to maintain this i actually need to eat this way forever
and now i'm upset with myself and i can't see myself as healthy partially because that first
idea we talked about but also partially because i don't want to eat this way you know when we see
keto as a diet and we blindly do what we're told to do right eat these vegetables
eat these meats eat these when we just eat certain things in certain amounts not really
tracking is one of the huge things that i really encourage people to do
not really verifying what i'm eating for violet and i just do this blanket this is
how much of this thing i'm putting on my plate because so-and-so told me to
part of the problem that happens there is that i'm not learning why keto works i'm not learning about
how sugar affects my internal organs and therefore i'm not really committed to this lifestyle
and the problem one of the hugest problems i feel that keto has in our community is how quickly
it works and i i feel like a lot of you guys say that's not a problem that's great no it's
a problem see if i had to take more time energy effort into losing this weight so it took me well
took me personally about 10 years to get to my highest weight and if i had to work for 10
years to take that weight off i think i'd be much less likely to go back to eating the stuff that
put the weight on because i worked so hard for so many years to get to that final resting place but
the fact that it took five months for me to lose 70 pounds but it took me 10 years to put that on
that could have put me in the unfortunate position if i hadn't done the research of believing that
the internal stuff that was happening to me didn't matter because i achieved the weight loss goal
i did the research because i wasn't trying to achieve a weight loss goal even though i lost
weight i was trying to achieve a health goal i had true metabolic issues happening in my joints that
i actually needed to solve so the thing i want you guys thinking about if i look at keto as a diet
there's a possibility that i will end up doing keto losing weight going back to standard american
diet gaining the weight back doing keto losing weight an american diet gaining the weight back
the problems with that are multiple the first one being yo-yo dieting tends to leave us at
a higher weight every time the second problem is that when i do keto i'm learning to be okay with
fat when i go back to standard american diet i'm not going to go back to standard american
diet low fat because i've learned that fat's not a problem so now i'm doing high fat high carb
the weight is going to come on so much faster the damage i'm doing internally is going to be
so much more because not only am i going to be putting away the carbohydrates that i'm eating
i'm putting away the fats and the proteins that i'm eating so therefore i'm not going to
have as much access to those healthy fats and healthy proteins that i need to build my body
add to that i'm eating processed foods probably again because i've gone back to a normal
there are so many issues that are going to happen the damage that i'm going to do is going to be
so much more and of course i'm not going to see myself in a positive way even though on
occasion my body's going to be at a good weight but internally i'm going to know i can't keep this
internally i'm going to be looking at myself saying what's wrong with me why can't
i first of all like we said in the first one why can't i be like everybody else but second of all
do i have to eat this way forever i have to keep fighting with myself about food
if i see keto as a diet i will have to fight myself about food all the time
because i'm not teaching myself that these other foods
aren't healthy another thing i hear people say is i'm thin i have a great job but i'm lonely i'm not
in a relationship or i don't have good friends around me and the reason that this one tends to
come up is because initially when i was overweight i was blaming my excess weight for why i didn't
have a spouse i was blaming my excess weight for why i didn't have a lot of friends around me
and this might have been partially true because it might have been that when i was overweight
i wasn't confident myself i didn't have a good self-esteem i didn't feel happy with me
and i might have been keeping people at bay i might have been avoiding social situations i
might have been doing things that kept me on my own and did not allow people to get to know me
and then i lose the weight and then i'm like okay i'm looking at myself and i'm like okay
i look okay but like why am i still so lonely why am i still so sad why isn't my life better
and part of the problem is that weight isn't what keeps people from finding relationships
there are people in relationships at all different weights and they're loving happy relationships
because relationships are about interpersonal connection relationships are about having common
interests relationships are about common goals relationships are about true human connection
relationships are not strictly about look but when i'm so afraid to put myself
out there because i don't like the way that i look i don't feel comfortable in my own skin
i'm not happy with me when i'm so afraid to put myself out there because of that then what ends up
happening is that i actually don't allow myself to have these relationships so when i'm thin
eventually after losing all the weight i'm still not able to put myself out there
because i haven't learned how right what i've learned to do is hide
so for some of us we lose the weight and we do not engage the world any differently at this
thinner weight than we did at our heavier weight if i don't present myself to people so the real
violet if i don't present me internal me to you you can't get to know me one of the big problems
that people who live their life with this idea have is that if i do allow myself to go out and
mingle with people and be in a social situation i'm presenting a version of me that's not real
i'm being more energetic i'm feigning interest in topics that i really don't care about
i might be doing activities that i would never choose to do by myself and that even while i'm
doing them i hate them but i'm acting like i'm loving this and and part of the problem with
this is that if i'm not really being me if i'm not letting people know that i just i i hate
jogging or i i'm not interested in water sports or if i don't let people know what violet is really
all about then they're going to expect this from me every time they interact with me they're going
to invite me to do water sports they're going to invite me jogging they're going to invite me to
do things that it's not at all interesting to me they're going to expect me to be on and energetic
and happy and out there if i'm a required and person they're going to expect things from me
that i can't produce over and over that's going to be exhausting for me so what's violet going to do
i'm going to continue to avoid situations so social situations i'm going to continue
to not put myself out there you can't get to know me and potentially fall in love with me if you're
not ever meeting the real violet and the only way for me to show you the real violet is to
realize that it wasn't my weight that was holding me back it was my fear of people judging me that
was holding me back and me judging myself harshly created that fear that you would judge me harshly
and 99 of the time that's just not true right the people that like us like us for who we are
and we are only going to know that when we stop presenting something that's not real
and actually see that they still like us what about the idea that my body
is thin now but it's wrinkly and saggy skin and i don't like it
and now this is like a real i don't like it and this is a tough one because
well we kind of expect our body to get wrinkled when we're older you know like in our old age but
at 30 years old at 40 years in my 40s like to be wrinkly and saggy in your 40s you're not expecting
that and like it's a bit weird when i think back to when i was having my daughter so when i was
pregnant how terrified i was of this idea that i'm gonna have stretch marks oh my goodness right
because at that time i was a completely normal weight and i'm like wow i'm gonna have a baby
in my like i'm gonna have stretch marks and i this idea terrified me i didn't want stretch marks this
would in my head they're gonna be the worst thing ever and then you know what eventually eventually
in my pregnancy i did gain weight like it took me like past the six month mark before i finally
blew up because i had a hard time gaining weight when i was younger and i finally gained weight
and i got the stretch marks and i realized that having stretch marks was the price i had to pay
for this beautiful little person that i had in front of me right my daughter who today
is everything to me so to to have her with me the price i paid was some stretch marks right well and
of course the birthing experience which wasn't fun either but that was the price to pay to have kyler
in my life i do not regret the birthing experience or the stretch marks today because i have kyler
in my life and when she makes me laugh when she makes me smile when she makes me crazy
it's all worth it right because i wanted to have my beautiful daughter and i have her
well you know initially i wasn't happy with how losing weight was making my body look the loose
skin the wrinkly skin i remember looking in the mirror and being very frustrated um and maybe
maybe that could explain a little bit why i kind of keep myself
at a slightly higher weight and i just thought about this now as i'm saying this to you guys
like maybe that's why i don't let myself go all the way down to where my body seems to want to go
because i don't like the the wrinkly loose skin that i have but fast forward to today because
no matter what weight i'm at whether i'm at that lowest weight that i didn't like or the
10 pounds more that i currently keep myself at i've lost 70 pounds i realized that the
increase in health that i have that resulted in me losing the 70 pounds so remember weight
comes after i improved my health and it allowed my body to help me to lose that 70 pounds that this
improved violet comes at the cost of some wrinkly skin and when i look at it like that it's worth it
because i would much rather have another 20 years of healthy pain-free living
than not have loose skin so wellness words what i want you to think about is that the reason that we
struggle to be satisfied with our new bodies and to be satisfied that and see ourselves as healthy
today is because we're still using that mindset that focuses on what i can't do we're still using
that mindset that focuses on us being different we're still using that mindset that thin trumps
everything and i want us to understand that living a healthy ketogenic lifestyle
isn't about thin living a healthy ketogenic lifestyle is about being healthy
about putting our body in the position where our body actually does heal itself repair itself and
build a quality me that's going to go into the future being able to do what i want to do for as
long as my body can let me do it i'm healthy my weight is regulated i'm no longer living in pain
i have mental clarity i have energy i would not trade any of this
to be able to eat crap food i think i made the best trade possible i traded a body full of pain
lacking energy with a bunch of metabolic issues on the way four a healthier version of violet
that's probably going to live another 30 40 50 years in a healthier situation change your
mindset that's what's going to help you to have a better sense of yourself and live in this new body
in a way that sees this new body as healthy sees this new body as what it should have always been
there are videos on the screen right there that are going to help you to improve your health
links in the description are there to help keep this channel independent and of course a cost
free way that you can help me is to subscribe to the channel and share these videos i can't
wait to talk to you guys again next week Wellness Warriors and everybody who's new as always welcome