For some people unfortunate enough to be in the most landlocked of locations, the closest
you might ever come to seeing a fish is this.
Look at the most evil fish that ever existed.
He has a laser fin.
Darth fish.
And if you think standing in lines is boring, then perhaps the closest you've been to a
fish is this!
What are you doing?
I'm trying to swim a loop-de-loop.
Ow!
So for those of you fish ignorant fools out there, let me delight your senses with this!
My friends, that was the slice of majesty that is Abzu.
If you haven't guessed it, Abzu is a beautiful game.
The soundtrack is something glorious and exquisite like a disney masterpiece and it's a game
about the ocean, and, more importantly, about fish!
So here you go, the top 10 most interesting fish and other not necessarily fish creatures
that are in the ocean in Abzu!
In our number 10 spot.
Here it is, the majestic green sea turtle in its natural habitat.
Surely we will experience a majestic reveal as it circles about in a sort of underwater
ballet and-- it's fine, we're moving on to the next green sea turtle.
It's the same turtle guys, it's fine, and this one is just as majestic in its ballet
form ready to-- okay, uh, we'll find the third one it's fine.
in its natural habitat we-- god damn it, Grouper!
Fine.
The number 10 spot goes to the Goliath Grouper because it ate all the green sea turtles that
I was going to present.
No one even cares who's at number 10, was it worth the murder?
Was it Grouper?
In our number nine spot.
All right, time for the fish inspection, I want every fish to be part of a school now
go!
All right, we got all of these white angel fish together and we-- hello?
I can see the problem.
This fish doesn't have enough brains!
It doesn't get its Omega 3 fatty acids every day.
It's completely oblivious!
The world could end today and he'd still be swimming in lava!
Mahi!
There are Marlin here!
They will kill you!
Look I was trying to rid my conscience of having killed your kind for the past 21 years
so that I could satisfy my hunger, but Mahi Mahi, you've been swimming into the wall for
the past four minutes!
I was wrong, the Marlin won't kill you, the concussive internal bleeding of your brain
will.
But you're pretty good looking so you get the number nine spot.
Fly me to the moon and we can play among the stars.
In our number eight spot.
This is amazing.
There's so many fish, I can't handle how many fish are in this little confined space.
My computer can't handle this many fish in a confined space.
What are they trying to do anyway?
It's like they are trying to make themselves into fish planet or something.
Hey guys, this isn't Mario Galaxy, it's not how it works, if I get enough of you together,
it still won't make for an inhabitable space for piranha plants and chain chomps.
Hey look, if you wanna form a giant planetary ball called Jupituna be my guest, but you
have a Marlin moon and it's about to crash land into you because it's "time to eat."
Oh no, you're not getting any sympathy from me.
This is the price you pay when you mess with the Space Marlin.
For this reason, as it is my duty to protect the human race, I have decided to include
the Marlin in the #8 spot so that the people of Earth will not need to be devoured by the
Space Marlin, that it can enjoy its sustained existence feasting upon the people of Jupituna
instead.
In our number seven spot.
All right, now we're on a tight schedule so I'm going to have to cut through this reef
for me to show you what I wanna show you, but it's quite all right, we're just going
to have to push passed these fish and then, ah-- Follow me, we'll take the long way instead.
I'm so sorry to have bothered you, Mr. Pufferfish.
At number six.
Any body who knows me knows that I like dinosaurs, I mean I made a whole video about it, not
to self plug or anything.
Please click the links on my left, right, bottom, center.
Comment, like, subscribe, whatever!
But as a result of this, it should come as no surprise to anybody that I would include
the Ichtyosaur on this list.
Not only that, but for some reason the Ichtyosaur's in Abzu have flashlights in their heads.
Hmm, long since extinct animal?
Flashlights in the head?
Behold!
Triassic Park!
But besides the fact that they're dinosaurs, I think one of the biggest reasons the Ichtyosaur
makes this list is just because of how adorable they are.
If I could get a stuffed pillow of them from the souvenir shop in the aquarium, I would
totally do it not that I already have!
At number five.
Welcome to the deep ocean.
You have reached Rock Bottom.
It's no big deal, we can make it across, we just have to-- Sharp teeth?
Glowing eyes?
Oh, come on, that can't even be alive, can it?
It's alive.
It's a living skeleton.
There's a werid fish, worm zombie down here.
Please, tell me what necromantic hell I've managed to find myself in.
There's goblin sharks, and blob fish.
Oh, it's coming right for me.
It's coming right here!
Don't kill me!
Oh, my gosh, that's actually adorable.
The Chimera fish, also known as the rabbit fish, is perhaps the only thing that I can
call cute in the entirety of the deep ocean.
And trust me guys, the deep ocean is a lot of ocean.
There's a lot of nasty things out there, like, I'm pretty sure the Chimera fish is in the
wrong part of the neighborhood and just doesn't know how to get home.
Well don't worry little guy, I'll protect you somehow.
We'll make it through this.
We just have to make it passed the robot fish gang and we'll be okay.
In the number four spot.
Meanwhile, while patrolling the galaxy, the Great Basking Shark looked up and was witness
to the Space Marlin destroying the great new planet of Jupituna.
Witnessing this, the basking shark did the one thing it knew how to do after all its
years in training.
Ahh!
At number 3.
I have a confession to make to you guys, I haven't been entirely straight with you.
My favorite fish is actually a... a shark.
The hammerhead shark.
I searched high and low in this game so that I could finally find my favorite fish in a
game who's entire existence revolves around showing fish.
I've done it.
I've finally done it.
Behold!
The Hammerhead shark in all its glory!
Well okay, it's technically the Bonnethead shark and it's technically much smaller than
a Hammerhead, and, technically, it's not really considered a Hammerhead at all, but look at
it!
It's toy-sized!
Well okay, if we consider the Hammerhead a shovel-head shark, then the Bonnethead is
basically a spade.
You can do your gardening with it and that's exactly where it should be.
In your garden, right next to the little garden gnomes and Hydrangeas.
Preferably in a pool of water so it doesn't constitute animal cruelty and eventual death.
In the number two spot.
Oh, sure, everybody loves dolphins.
Everybody wants to shower everybody's favorite porpoise with praise.
Well I have one better!
Everybody meet the Vaquita!
Did it just make a noise?
Oh my gosh, the Vaquita gets an award for being one of the most cute things in the entire
ocean.
Everything from the shape of its nose, to its size, to the noises it makes.
It has single-handedly inspired me to become a marine biologist!
Forget whatever it was I was doing before, it clearly wasn't worth it!
What?
As of May, 2016, there's only 60 of them alive?
Guys this... this is unacceptable.
We together as an entire collective community of human beings must save the Vaquita.
Stand by me!
Save the Vaquita, hashtag save the vaquita on Twitter, and on Facebook, and on whatever
else accepts hashtags.
This is a big deal guys.
The Vaquitas are going to go extinct soon.
One of our national treasures that you didn't know we had.
We must save it.
Mister, mister!
Here you go, save them.
We've gotta save them.
There's only 60 left!
Save the Vaquita!
Sir, save the Vaquita.
Save the Vaquita, you gotta... save it.
Save the Vaquita, mister!
Save the Vaquita!
You got met already!
Bro...
There's only 60 left!
I-- Save the Vaquita!
Save the Vaquita!
Mister, save the Vaquita!
You've gotta save them.
You've got to.
You only have one chance!
Save the Vaquita!
We just gotta save them!
One chance, that's all we've got, man!
Save the Vaquita, man!
You're awesome!
Save the Vaquita!
There's only 60 left!
Vaquita!
Save the-- Save... the Vaquita!
You what mother -- Save the Vaquita!
The Vaquita must be saved!
Save the Vaquita!
And in our number one spot.
Think I'm gonna want Yeah.
Whales.
In addition to being on top of the ASMR game way before anyone else ever heard of it.
Blue whales also have a certain knack for just being majestic.
They fill you with a sense that you want them to achieve whatever it is that they're doing,
even if it is just getting from point A to point B. You can do it little guy!
Come on, get in there!
The scene from Abzu also matches up really well with music from Fantasia and, for that
reason, it gets the number one spot, because frankly that shouldn't even be possible.
What, don't believe me?
I rest my case.
Thank you everybody for watching my video!
If you enjoyed it please leave a like, comment, and subscribe.
Other options are you can hit on the little video down here to be taken to a playlist
of other videos that I've done in the past like this one or you can go ahead and go to
my Twitch page on random days, follow me on Twitter where you can get an update on when
those happen and on when I post my newest videos, just in case you miss it on the subscription
feed.
And if you're on the more charitable side and you would like to help me maintain this
show, you can go ahead and click on the Patreon button to be taken to my Patreon page where
you can donate a set amount of money for every video that I release, helping to insure its
continuation in the future.
And, I wasn't kidding guys, the Vaquita really is going extinct so, if you really actually
wanna make a difference, do go donate to VivaVaquita.org.
Not even a joke.
These things are adorable, they're not very well known, and it would be a shame to lose
something so precious.
Anyway, that's all from me from my soap box for the evening.
Thank you guys for watching!
Stay tuned for next time.
Until then, see you guys.