Obama's back and so are the haters.
TV REPORTER: Former President Barack Obama
is getting a little heat tonight.
The former president has agreed to give a lucrative speech
to Wall Street firm Cantor Fitzgerald.
Mr. Obama will be paid about $400,000, but many people
are calling the former president's move hypocritical,
because in the past he's been very critical of Wall Street
and the financial industry.
♪ Paper Boi, Paper Boi ♪
♪ All about that paper, boy ♪
♪ All about that paper, boy. ♪
Obama's getting $400,000 to be a keynote speaker.
He's probably gonna give a very important policy speech entitled
"The Four Boats I'm Gonna Buy."
(laughter)
Now, now, look, I know people may say
that it weakens public trust when politicians cash-in
immediately after leaving office.
But at least Obama waited until he left office,
unlike this guy,
who's using the White House like an ATM machine.
And, yeah, don't get me wrong.
I agree that the system must change,
but it doesn't change with Obama, all right?
People are, like,
"Oh, why doesn't he not accept the money?"
No. (bleep) that.
(bleep) that.
-No. No. -(cheering and applause)
No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
So the first black president
must also be the first one to not take money afterwards?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, my friend.
He can't be the first of everything.
(bleep) that and (bleep) you.
Yeah, I said it.
(cheers and applause)
No!
Make that money, Obama. Make that money.
"But Obama should know better."
Oh, what about the Clintons?
"Yeah, well, I mean, the Clintons, it's already done."
Well, then let him already done it, as well,
and then you guys can start that (bleep)
with the first white president to not take the money.
(bleep) you. Obama, make that money.
Make that money.
(cheering and applause)
Instead of focusing on how Obama can make so much money
from Wall Street for a speech,
maybe we should be asking why Wall Street has so much money
to give people for a speech.
The loose regulations, the intensive lobbying,
and favorable-- You know what?
The truth is, we can't get into all of this.
There's too much... There's too much else
that's going on that we have to talk about today.
And fortunately, whenever that happens,
we have a perfect segment on the show,
and it's called Ain't Nobody Got Time for That.
♪ ♪
All right, let's get straight into it.
Recently, Berkeley has been in the middle
of a huge free speech controversy.
Uh, because, if you think Obama made people mad
with his planned speech,
Ann Coulter was like, "Hold my beer."
TV REPORTER: Conservative firebrand
and political commentator Ann Coulter
furious at UC Berkeley
for rescheduling her on-campus speech
originally set for tonight.
TV REPORTER: The university, forced to sacrifice
its reputation as the cradle of the free speech movement
for safety, according to officials.
I guess it's ironic that it's,
that it's the home of the free speech movement.
In any public space, American citizens
have constitutional rights.
Why won't they let me say I'm a Nazi?
Why? Why?
Look, man, she's right about the free speech thing,
but here's my opinion.
Even though Ann Coulter is clearly trolling,
and doing this for the publicity of not letting her speak,
they should just let her speak,
because you realize she doesn't actually want to speak.
She wants to be stopped from speaking.
Yeah, it's like your friend in a fight who's like,
"Hold me back, hold me back! Hold me back!
"No, seriously, hold me back, I'm gonna get my ass kicked.
"I'm gonna get my ass kicked.
Hold me back!"
The truth is, the truth is, a side effect of free speech
is that there will always be hate speech.
If you ban one, you risk banning the other.
Like, you might call Ann Coulter hate speech,
but then what's to stop Jeff Sessions
from calling Black Lives Matter hate speech?
If there's one thing America has given to the world,
it's the idea of absolute free speech.
Which is why-- and please, be respectful, people--
Ann Coulter is joining us live, right now, via satellite,
uh, because, Ann, we really want to hear from you
about your thoughts on freedom of speech.
Uh, oh, but I'm sorry, we just do not have the time,
because, uh, Kim Jong-un has nukes.
(cheering, applause)
Kim Jong-un has nukes
and Donald Trump has a bus.
Today Mr. Trump summoned all 100 U.S. senators
to the White House
to hear the latest on the threat
posed by North Korea's nuclear program.
REPORTER: A field trip to the White House.
One by one, nearly every senator on Capitol Hill
loading up on buses headed to that classified briefing
on North Korea and its nuclear threat.
I'm sorry, I can't believe Donald Trump
made 100 senators take a bus to his place.
100 sen... Instead of one person just going to their place.
Like, I'm actually disappointed Trump used a regular bus.
It would have been such a power move
if he had used the pussy-grabbing bus.
Remember that one? Yeah.
That would have been amazing.
And just had them all there, like,
"Remember how you all thought this was gonna break me?
"Yeah. Yeah, who's the winner now?
"All right, let's sing. ♪ The pussies on the bus ♪
"♪ Get grabbed, grabbed, grabbed ♪
"♪ Grabbed, grabbed, grabbed ♪
♪ Grabbed, grabbed, grabbed. ♪"
By the way, we have actual footage
of the senators riding the bus to go see Trump,
and it really is sad
to see that Ted Cruz still hasn't made friends.
Seat's taken.
Can't sit here.
(cheering, applause)
That poor guy.
Oh, and, uh, by the way, it turns out,
apparently, this whole thing was just a publicity stunt
that, according to senators of both parties,
had no real information in it. Yeah.
Donald Trump just called them there.
And I wouldn't be surprised that he just brought them to be like,
"Did you guys know there are two Koreas?
It's a lot more complicated than we thought, folks."
A lot more complicated, a lot more."