so Tati Westbrook just made a video discussing everything that went down
with James Charles and this might be the final nail in the coffin and we
definitely definitely need to talk about this and see what lessons we can learn
from it take a look at the YouTube community whether it's the drama going
on or just and I try to take this mess and turn it into a message because what
good is consuming all of this drama or all of this content if we're not seeing
how we can apply it to our own lives so if you're into that stuff make sure you
subscribe and bring that notification bow so yeah talk to us we'll just
release her video the first thing I want to address I stand by what I said and
talk to you Westbrook agrees like what I said originally was like we just live in
this weird time where we we feel this need to make everything public and
they're like it's just strange like because Tati and James were friends
right like why don't you just like call him or message him or whatever it's a yo
dude I was hurt by this situation so in her video she says this so what you guys
saw on that IG story that happens like that happens to so many of us like we
let our emotions lead because we're creatives and you have access to this
piece of technology that allows you to express you know so widely and so
quickly I'm a really really big believer in hitting the pause button thinking
things through in that moment I didn't so here we are and I'm gonna talk about
it all and yet looking back in hindsight like she even acknowledges that she
should have handled it a different way and she's been since later on in the
video like as she mentors other people like James tall's she tries to talk to
and like help-help them not make something like impulsive bad decisions
or to reflect on situations and learn from them so yeah like let's let's talk
about this situation and it definitely opened up my eyes but you guys like
here's the thing why why am I talking about drama why do I talk about drama
because here's the problem in this whole situation the way I see it I imagine the
millions of millions of millions of people who are gonna watch this video
watch videos on this all sorts of stuff and we're just sitting there just like
eating the popcorn or sipping on the tea and we're taking sides like team James
or team toddy right but like escapism is good but how is this affecting your own
life right like what Tati and James's goings are going through like this is
something that happens to me it happens to you happens to all of us so as we
look at it we need to kind of look at it and say okay what can I take from this
what can I learn from this situation alright so talk to Westbrook she was she
was kind of innovative to make this video
especially after Gabriel's some more I made some videos about her and
everything and tell me what's what kind of like explains at the beginning of
this video like obviously looking in hindsight maybe she shouldn't have done
that that Instagram story but now now like
you know the the box is open right like this is started like and hey you might
as well dive into it but like some of us have been in this situation before and
this is something that I recommend and I'm a licensed therapist for
psychologists or anything I have my own background with mental health issues
codependency I've worked in addiction treatment center all sorts of stuff am i
so talking about codependency I don't necessarily think this is a bad idea
like basically what talked to us were dead in this like she was like I am done
I am done I'm gonna sit down and make this video and go over all of it she
even mentions that like she is done with this friendship with this relationship
maybe in the future like like I don't I don't personally believe that anybody
really like there are some very specific cases like of terrible terrible awful
things right like murder you know like murder maybe
forgive the person but James Falls is 19 so like maybe in a year or two when he
pulls his head out of his young ass and figures out what he's doing with his
life how he's just walked over people used people manipulating people maybe if
he grows and learns from this maybe him the stalks he can have a relationship
again but it's going to take like a real serious apology it's going to take like
the real showing of remorse you know but if you're somebody who's in somewhat of
a codependent relationship or just even a constant relationship like I don't
recommend like making a youtube video and like going nuts on it but sometimes
you got to drop that nuclear bomb just so you can be done with it well I just
so you can get out of that relationship and I feel that's what Tati did in this
situation so basically throughout this this video Tati explains how this wasn't
just it wasn't just that James Charles did this endorsement for sugarbear hair
like that was just that was just the straw that broke the camel's back and
she goes on through this thing and man man can i I empathize with taki
Westbrook in this situation well she talks about how their relationship
wasn't transactional all she did was give and give and give and try to help
and try to support right and something that I often talk about is self-seeking
like we do things for other people without expecting anything in return
and it seems like Tati was really being selfless in this situation just giving
to James trying to promote James Charles trying to build him up trying to do all
of this and it sounds like she was pretty cool with it
when James Charles like recognized you know who was audience and who was
demographic is and why he wasn't gonna promote halo beauty and all that but it
felt like such a stab in the back when he went on and did this for sugar bear
hair because he had already told Tati that he doesn't he doesn't want to
promote products like that right but like just imagine imagine like push
yourself and talk to shoes for just a minute and imagine being there for
somebody like this is one of the reasons why I can imagine a parent you know if
their child did something just just so awful to them right like
you've done so much for them you know what I mean so it's not a situation she
wasn't giving expecting anything in return and a lot of us do that but that
doesn't mean it doesn't hurt it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when that
person turns against you so for me for me not only am i father but my son's
only ten he hasn't gotten to the age where he's like can really screw me over
yet but in my addiction recovery this is something that's happened to me before
right because I come from a 12-step background where we're taught like once
you get this thing once you get this sobriety thing you help others I have
found my life's purpose through helping others just giving freely of myself just
sharing my experience teaching others what I have learned as a part of my own
addiction recovery a part of my own mental health recovery a part of my own
like overcoming getting out of toxic relationships and my issues from
childhood and trauma and all these other things
I give that freely to other people but in addiction recovery we we see this
happen and I have had people who I have done nothing but give to write like not
only have I given to them but they they don't have anything to offer me in
return there's no transaction available
especially when you're dealing an addiction recovery and this isn't a
knock at people who are newly sober it's just the truth like when I first got
sober I have like 3 pairs of clothes no money my life was a mess I was a mess
right like everybody who is helping me I had nothing to give them so when I'm
helping others who just newly gets sober like what are they gonna give me they
have nothing to give me and that's cool I don't need anything from them I get
joy out of not only being the opportunity to help them by sharing my
experience but I get joy from seeing that evolution and don't get me wrong I
have worked with countless people like at the drug addiction treatments and I
was working at I work with thousands of people and so many of them were doing
well and the brightest part of my day is with any of my old clients get a hold of
me and just say Chris thank you thank you
you know what I mean and they thank me but there are also those who turn on me
right they turn on me or the end oh they'll talk smack about me or they'll
you know blame me for you know something even
though it was their own responsible all those things so I absolutely get it and
understand so if you're somebody who's been through this as well what helps me
out what helps me let go and get past it there's something that talk to you
Westbrook talks a lot about when she was talking about the situation with James
Giles she just wants to let go and move on right so I I personally have to
practice forgiveness and something that I do is that I I try I try to realize
that this this isn't a bad person this is a sick person all right like whether
you want to you know see them as spiritually sick or or mentally sick
whatever it is Charles like hey the dudes like 9421 the prefrontal cortex
the logical decision-making part of your brain does it fully develop until your
mid-to-late 20s James Charles is an idiot kid right that's what I'm saying
like maybe later on him and talk to you can have a relationship but but what
help what would help me if I was in talk to you situation to say this is a sick
person not necessarily a bad person right even though this actions are bad
like I think it's a point that we separate the actions from the person
right because if not we can get into this whole pessimistic nihilistic type
of frame of mind where we just think everybody's awful and all sorts of stuff
so the last thing I want to talk about is this clip right here I'm not gonna
let that happen to me and if I fall apart because people don't like what I
have to say or that I said it loud here on my channel I guess that's on me and
this is my choice because I've always been a person that wanted to not let
fear control me that's been an issue of mine in the past and I want for anybody
out there that is letting fear and power and someone else telling you how to feel
because there will be a consequence don't let that fear eat you up you
free to be who you want to be you're free to speak up if something's not
feeling okay and if you ever need to defend your character go for it and I
hope at minimum I'm an example of that and that talked to Westbrook is how you
end this on a high note right like talk to Westbrook was talking
about the fear she had about making this video and and I get it like whenever I
see anybody whenever I see anybody going against
James Charles there's like this fear there's this fear that the sisters are
gonna go crazy on them right like the sisters are not above making death
threats and going crazy so I understand talk to us trust fearing that but I
think it's a powerful message for anybody out there whether you're
struggling with just like regular fear or like true anxiety you know what I
mean like be true to you do what you think is right move forward work hard
and just realize it's going to be work worth it every single challenge that we
go through every single time that we overcome fear in my opinion it builds
this resilience in us all right like I am NOT a neuroscientist but there are
studies that prove like this is why exposure therapy works when we continue
to face our fears our amygdala starts to chill the hell out and we stop being as
afraid the next time we go into that situation all right so a few morals of
this video and this whole situation that's going down one is don't be a dick
if somebody has helped you out along the way like respect them and chill out and
don't let your ego lose control all right everybody needs Mentors and we
need to respect our mentors we need to respect the people who have been through
what we've been through right I'm not here to say that every person older than
you who has walked a certain path knows everything and it's never wrong but we
need to respect their experience but the other thing on this is let go move
forward all right because we
that meant holding on to resentment they say is like drinking poison and hoping
the other person dies so we gotta let go of this stuff and I always say this
forgiveness isn't about letting the other person off the hook forgiveness is
about letting ourselves off the hook all right but anyways that's all I got for
this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make
sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton
of videos turning the mess into a message and a huge thank you to
everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all amazing and if you
would like to become a patron you can click the top right there alright thanks
again so so much for watching I'll see you next time