I'm a fraud. My success was an accident. I was given opportunities by mistake.
Do you relate to that intense feeling of self doubt? Maybe you're feeling incapable of being
in charge at work. Perhaps you feel unsure of yourself in your relationship. It's often
referred to as Imposter Syndrome or the Imposter Phenomenon. I'm going to tell you what it
is and how you can overcome it, along with a short and powerful motivational speech,
on this episode of The Dr. K Show.
I'm Dr. Karthik Ramanan, and on this channel I help ambitious individuals end self criticism
with tools and strategies to create optimal everyday mental health. If you're new here
and you know you need to get out of your own way to execute on your passions, I’m here
for you. I encourage you to subscribe right now.
Each week on The Dr. K Show, I answer YOUR burning questions. The second segment is Progress
Success, where I share a win from K Nation, people just like you. And in the final segment,
I Bring The Heat. If you need a kickstart, a little motivation, stick around until the
end. I drop wisdom, raw and real.
Imposter syndrome, or the imposter phenomenon, is a form of self doubt that's particularly
intense. Self doubt does serve a purpose, to keep us safe from legitimate threats, but
in our modern world, it can harm more than it can do good. It's definitely something
I faced, whether it was in my previous career on wall street or in medical school. Sometimes
even to this day. The key is to recognize it, address the cause wherever possible, and
have a system in place to alleviate its effects if it does pop up.
Here's my system for you. It involves two methods: rational and emotional.
Rationally, in relation to the situation that gives you imposter syndrome, I want you to
make a list of your accomplishments on one side of a sheet of paper. On the other side,
I want you to write down the reasons why you believe that accomplishment was luck, a mistake,
or any other factor that prevents you from taking credit for your accomplishment. Simple
enough, right? Here's the key. I think you'll agree with me that every situation we encounter
in life, every achievement we've had… they're unique. Right? Situations were different,
if even slightly. So here's the key. You can't use the same reason twice.
Now once you're done making your list, imagine if someone you admire and believe in deeply
handed you this paper. What would you feel? What would you say to them? Think about it.
Are you getting value out of this? Hit that like button.
Then, we have to address imposter syndrome emotionally. Here's the exercise. Each day,
you must take one compliment from someone. Don't deflect the compliment and instead compliment
someone else. Don't minimize what the person is saying about you by laughing it off, shrinking
in your body language, or making light of the compliment. Look at that person, smile,
and say thank you.
Once you do that, on a sheet of paper, write down the date and a check mark. Or you can
use a habit tracker. I want you to take a compliment every day, and you might be surprised
how much easier it gets after a while. It worked for me.
What's one way you deal with imposter syndrome? Let me know in the comments below. I read
and respond to every comment.
Today’s Progress Success is brought to you by Michael from Instagram.
I've learned that as long as I'm alive, there will always be hope, no matter how hopeless
it seems. It's like snatching victory from the jaws of defeat kind of thing… it sounds
cliché, but it has happened to me not once but twice.
You're absolutely right, Michael. There's always hope, no matter what we're dealing
with, and I'm glad you've allowed the evidence in your life to be the proof you needed to
reinforce that empowering belief.
You're dealing with imposter syndrome. You feel like a fraud. Positive feedback just
rubs you the wrong way, and your success is just a fluke, a mistake, or just not a big
deal.
I get that. I really do. But here's the truth, whether you want to admit it or not. You are
capable. You are great. You are enough.
Look, it's easy to say we don't have a single skill that we're the absolute best at, and
therefore we must not be the best at anything. But the truth is, you have a combination of
skills that you're good if not great at, that when put together make you one hundred percent
unique among those around you. There is NOBODY in this world who has been through YOUR challenges,
YOUR tragedies, YOUR triumphs, YOUR successes. You don't think that shapes you to be unique
in a certain set of skills?
You may think your unique set of skills makes you unsuitable for whatever situation you're
dealing with. I say this. If the rules don't suit your skills, change the game. Find the
job, the relationship, the environment that best suits who you ARE and go be the BEST
version of yourself.
You can sit here and credit others for your success and take blame for others failures.
Or, you can wake up and realize that you, YOU alone are responsible for all your successes
and failures. Try that belief on for size. It's liberating. I promise.
It starts with one step at a time, so for the next week, take one compliment from someone
without deflecting it or cowering from your brilliance. It starts right now with…
I believe in your greatness.