“Scrooge!”
“But you’ve got to have a tree.”
“What about Christmas dinner?”
“Seriously?”
Yes seriously, I don’t celebrate Christmas.
“Oh no boo, you’re missing out boo.”
“Scrooge!”
“Why don’t you celebrate Christmas?
How is it possible that you don’t celebrate Christmas?”
I’ve been called, “Boring, grumpy…”
“Party pooper.”
You’re saying that I’m a miser or that I’m miserable or something, it’s like,
I spend, I haemorrhage money every single day.
And just because I don’t want to do it on this one occasion, suddenly I’m mean and
stingy.
When people say I’m like “Scrooge” or “The Grinch”
Yeah Yeah and what?
I’m Scrooge McGrinch.
“Seriously?”
Seriously yes.
Yes.
People have been like, “Oh my God, you don’t celebrate Christmas?”
“You don’t see your own family at Christmas?”
I’m like, “Yeah.”
People think I’m joking, then they go, “Are you a Muslim?”
I’m Muslim.
I’ll be like, “Yeah I’m Jewish.”
And they’re like, “Oh, ok.”
“Sorry, sorry.”
You don’t have to celebrate Christmas.
No I think it’s boring actually.
I’ve spent Christmas alone several times yeah, I don’t feel ashamed of that.
If anything I had a party by myself, I had the house to myself, food, you know.
“Why?”
Why not.
There’s a lot of things I don’t do in life, you don’t question all of those.
You know I don’t
“But everyone loves Christmas songs.”
Ooh ooh.
No we don’t.
Yes that is correct, I love Christmas songs.
I don’t, I got to say I don’t.
What?
What about Mariah?
Come on.
I’m totally into Wham.
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away.”
“Gave it away.”
“Santa baby, why don’t you come to the chimney tonight.”
Oh yeah, my god, damn.
Flipping East 17 song.
Which is not a Christmas song.
“Stay now, stay now.”
It’s not a Chrismas song.
They’re just catchy and they do make you happy.
1st of December, you’re going to hear it, every single day.
It’s very hard to avoid because it’s everywhere, it’s on the streets, it’s in supermarkets.
It’s always Slade, Wizard, The Pogues, Mariah Carey, Wham.
You may occasionally get a different X-Factor winner.
“But Britain is a Christian country.”
Here we go.
I’m not Christian.
Theres many other people that aren’t Christian.
I’m totally down with calling it a Christian country, doesn’t mean we all have to celebrate
Christmas.
Britain is a Christian country, but there’s many other religions and faiths out there.
I think it’s really lovely, that you can walk around the corner and see people from
all sides of the world.
A lot of people who aren’t even religious, like I have friends who are atheists and they
go to mass on Christmas Eve.
Just because it’s traditional.
It’s supposed to be a religious holiday, but because people are so, they endorse money
and gifts and they live off money and gifts, now it’s become money and gifts.
There are other religions out there and there are Christian people that don’t celebrate
Christmas.
Like me.
Like you.
“You’ve got to have a tree.”
I was walking with my boyfriend the other day past someone selling Christmas trees and
I was like, you know what, that’s really upsetting, because we’re cutting down trees
to just like..
To throw away the next day.
Yeah.
4 billion, kajillion trees die and it’s kind of morbid.
In my work I’ve had Christmas trees before and the mess, the mess.
Yeah.
Decorations are a bit over the top don’t you think?
What do they put on the decorations?
These.
Tinsel.
They put like these.
These and different colours.
In different colours.
It’s all colourful.
You know, what is this?
They’re cool, they’re cute.
I don’t know, I like tinsel.
I don’t even know.
It’s all in your face.
People actually have arguments on deciding whether you have to have a star or an angel
on top of the tree.
Oh snap.
Absolutely ridiculous what you guys are doing, you’re wasting your good time, you’re
wasting It to me, just seems so long, but at the same
time I’ve seen Muslim families with trees.
I don’t know who’s more confused here, me or you guys?
“What about Christmas dinner?”
I don’t call it Christmas dinner, I call it dinner with the fam-dem.
Glass of wine with my Weetabix, sitting in my pyjamas, that’s it I’m happy.
Christmas dinner is a roast dinner isn’t it?
So I have it every Sunday.
I’m a vegetarian, so I’ve never been into Christmas dinner, I don’t even like Christmas
pudding.
No one likes sprouts that’s the thing.
You just have to eat it because it’s Christmas, it’s just, it’s a law.
What is it?
Pigs in blankets?
But you know what, people spend hours like cooking Christmas dinners.
Especially in an African household.
Oh I know, oh you know.
They add their own African little, little drop to it.
Your starters and your mains and your desserts, and then like twenty minutes later, someone
goes, “You want a biscuit?”
“Cup of tea?”
No.
I want an enema, to get it all out.
“But it’s the most wonderful time of the year.”
Oh please can I throw that bauble?
It’s the most wonderful time of the year for you.
Straight after Christmas it’s Boxing Day, straight after Boxing Day it’s New Year,
straight after New Year it’s Valentines, straight after Valentines…
It’s Hannah’s birthday.
I looked at how much my city spends on Christmas lights and aI was like damn, we got a lot
more bigger problems to solve.
You know my favourite time out of the whole Christmas phase ting, is the end.
I like it when it’s finished, I’m like, “Thank you, alright, it’s done.”
Come on guys, imagine a world, where everyday is like Christmas?
Oh God no, what?
Oh no, let’s not do that no.
No, not in that way!