I'm sure, just like many of you,
I woke up this morning to the devastating news
coming out of Las Vegas.
Another mass shooting.
This time somehow even deadlier
than all the other mass shootings.
And they say that this was the worst in American history.
But every shooting
is the worst for someone.
And you know what-what blew my mind this morning
is when I realized
that I have-I have just, like...
I've lived in the U.S. and New York
for two years now, all right?
And in that time there have been 20 mass shootings.
20 mass shootings in the U.S.
What's been particularly heartbreaking is--
other than the lives lost--
is how I feel like people
are becoming more accustomed to this type of news,
every single time.
I almost know how it's going to play out.
We're shocked. We're sad.
Thoughts and prayers. And then, almost on cue,
people are gonna come out saying, "Whatever you do,
"when speaking about the shootings,
don't talk about guns."
Talking about gun control and whether we new... need
more restrictive laws-- I just don't think that
that's an appropriate time for this to be happening.
There's a time and place for a political debate,
uh, but now is the time to unite as a country.
This is not the time
to be talking about guns.
Sometimes I wish I had used this logic as a kid
when I've done something wrong. You know?
My mom wanted to ground me. I should have just said,
"Is this the time, Mom, that we...
"politicize what's happening right now?
"This is not the time to talk about my lack of discipline.
"This is a time for us to unite as a family,
"to focus on the fact that I'm stuck in the kitchen window
"trying to sneak back in. Come on, Mom.
This is not the time."
When... like, when is the time?
And also, if you say after a mass shooting is never the time,
then you'll never have the conversation in America,
because there's a mass shooting almost every single day.
So when is the time? Think about it.
With everything else-- when a plane crashes,
we talk about plane safety immediately.
When a bridge collapses,
we talk about infrastructure immediately.
When a lion attacks people, we talk about
why there are so many lions roaming around.
Is that just me? Africa?
All right, cool. Skip-skip that one.
Skip that one. But, like, I... Like, I don't know how to...
We seem to do everything to avoid talking about guns.
I've never been to a country
where people are as afraid to speak about guns.
Every time there's a shooting.
You got to look at something else.
Is it Muslims? Is it their religion, is that what it is?
Is it blacks? It's the blacks. It's the black on black crime.
Is it mentally ill people? Is it white nationalists?
Every time, it's a different question.
And now... and now, after this incident in Las Vegas,
we're asking a new question.
Is it hotels?
Certainly hotel security will be revisited across the globe, uh,
after this event.
There's no check of your bags.
Uh, I'm not sure how one gets that many firearms
up into their room, but that's gonna be, now, an issue.
Who would have thought that someone would be firing
from the Mandalay Bay hotel?
So now we have to rethink security.
So... so, just to keep track of the argument--
mass shooting, mass shooting, mass shooting, mass shooting,
mass shooting, mass shooting... we have to take care
of this hotel check-in issue.
Oh, and-and... and by the way,
just to give you an idea of how far away America is
from actual gun control--
this week Congress is going to vote
on deregulating gun silencers. Yeah.
Because, I guess, Congress is thinking,
"Gun violence is out of control. How can we make it quieter?
Yeah, how can we do that?"
So... so, the people of Las Vegas,
I can't give you thoughts and prayers.
I can only say that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that we live in a world where there are people
who will put a gun...
before your lives.
And this story will develop over time, and we'll keep on it.
But for now, let's go into the news of the weekend.
Let's start with Secretary of State Rex Tillerson.
A man whose name sounds less, uh, like a man
and more like a rich old lady's Pomeranian.
Earlier this week...
earlier this week...
the secretary of state revealed
that he has a direct line of communication with North Korea.
Which is a big deal, considering North Korea
is threatening to launch nuclear weapons at the U.S.
Unfortunately for the rest of us, President Trump
has a direct line of communication with Twitter.
U.S. president, Donald Trump, appears to be undermining
his top diplomat on North Korea.
REPORTER: "I told Rex Tillerson he's wasting his time
trying to negotiate with Little Rocket Man."
"Save your energy, Rex, we'll do what has to be done!"
"Save your energy, Rex"?
Poor Rex Tillerson. He's trying to negotiate a way out
of nuclear war, and his boss is calling him out
on social media for it.
Like, I wonder if Tillerson's ever like, "Sir, do you know
"that your phone can make calls? Do you know that?
Like, why would you tweet me?"
Trump is like, "Because, Rex, I don't follow you,
so I can't DM, okay?"
(applause)
And, now...
I get... I get what Trump is trying to do though.
He's thinking that, by acting crazy,
he'll strengthen Rex's hand with the negotiations, you know?
It's the old good cop/bad president routine.
I understand it. The problem is,
he's actually a bad president.
It's not just a routine.
"Being nice to Rocket Man hasn't worked in 25 years.
"Why would it work now?
"Clinton failed, Bush failed, and Obama failed.
I won't fail."
You know, I would be a lot more confident
that Trump wouldn't fail if he knew that North Korea
has had three leaders in the last 25 years.
Yeah. Clinton and Bush were dealing with different Kims--
Kim Il-sung, Kim Jong-il,
and now Kim Jong-un.
But I guess, to Trump, all rocket men look the same.
Uh, or, maybe, maybe he just can't tell Kims apart.
Maybe that's his thing. He's gonna be, uh, walking
in the street, bumping into Lil' Kim and looking at her,
like, "You son of a bitch."
Oh, and-and Trump's-Trump's crazy
wasn't just directed at, uh, the Korea of the north.
Remember how last week everyone was like,
"Hey, Mr. President, stop tweeting about the NFL
and focus on Puerto Rico"? Remember that?
Well, uh, be careful what you wish for.
REPORTER: The mayor of San Juan slamming
President Trump's response to the disaster there.
So I am done being polite.
I am done being politically correct.
I am mad as hell.
We are dying,
and you are killing us with the inefficiency.
REPORTER 2: President Trump responded,
"Such poor leadership ability by the mayor of San Juan
"and others in Puerto Rico,
"who are not able to get their workers to help.
"They want everything to be done for them
when it should be a community effort."
Wow. Really?
The hurricane-ravaged people of Puerto Rico are lazy?
This coming from a man who spent 71 days of his presidency
at a golf course. Really?
A sport where you're so lazy, you need an assistant.
They're the lazy ones?
Because, you see, the real victims of this hurricane
are not who you think of as the victims of the hurricane.
The real victim is Donald Trump.
REPORTER: "The mayor of San Juan,
"who was very complimentary only a few days ago,
"has now been told by the Democrats
that you must be nasty to Trump."
How are you a billionaire
and the president of the United States
and still the most insecure human being on Earth?
Like, how? Like, a mayor of a hurricane-ravaged city
is begging for food,
and Trump reacts like she slammed him on a diss track.
And just to keep track, Trump has now had beef
with the mayor of a destroyed city,
grieving Gold Star parents,
POWs, and the Pope.
Right. And the Pope deserved it.
He said some (bleep). But, I mean, everyone else,
everyone else, really?
And, obviously, there was a big backlash to Trump's response.
People were furious. Lin-Manuel Miranda
even tweeted that Trump is going straight to hell
on the fastest golf cart he ever took.
And I don't know if you know...
(cheering and applause)
I don't know if you know--
Lin-Manuel is, like, the nicest person
you will ever meet in your life.
And you can even see that he's nice,
because even when sending Trump to hell,
he let him take his preferred mode of transportation.
Look at that.
That's a nice guy.
And, clearly, Donald Trump is a Hamilton fan,
because, on Sunday, the president finally stepped up
and did the right thing.
President Trump dedicates Presidents Cup golf trophy
to the people of Puerto Rico.
On behalf of all of the people of Texas
and all of the people of--
if you look today and you see what's happening,
how horrible it is, but we have it under really great control--
Puerto Rico, and the people of Florida,
who have really suffered over this last short period of time
with the hurricanes, I want to just remember them.
And we're going to dedicate this trophy
to all of those people that went through so much.
That's right, folks.
Don't say Donald Trump hasn't done anything for Puerto Rico.
The dude dedicated a whole golf trophy to them.
And you know in Trump's mind, that made sense, right?
He was like, "This weekend, both the golfers and Puerto Rico
"had to deal with water hazards.
-It makes sense. It makes sense." (laughter, groaning)
Like, I could...
I genuinely cannot believe
that this guy dedicated a golf trophy.
Like, on the list of things Puerto Ricans needed,
a golf trophy is somewhere in between a VHS copy of Spider-Man
and another hurricane.
Who are you?
(applause and cheering)
Because... because Puerto Rico doesn't need a golf trophy.
All right, they need baseball trophies.
-They don't play golf. -(laughter)
No, but seriously, though, they need help.
They need our help, as well.
Don't be like Trump.
Let's give to Puerto Ricans something
that they can actually use.
Click the link and help out.
Give whatever you can, even if it's one dollar.
You know, if anything, this may be the only silver lining
of Trump's Twitter wars,
is how much people have been getting involved.
He gets people so fired up that they donate just to spite him.
(laughter)
Yeah, I'm thinking now, we just need to get polar bears
to tweet Trump, and maybe we can solve global warming.