How to be an effective
rider for your horse. Every
week, we speak to so many people
who are incredibly wanting to
ride the best that they can do.
And these are riders who
genuinely care, they tend to be
sometimes a little bit over
invested in doing things
correctly with their horses,
they're still not getting the
results that they're looking
for.
We're going to talk about today,
what's happening here? Is it
that your horse isn't listening
to you perhaps? Is it that your
horse isn't ready to do what
you're asking? Is it that maybe
you're asking too much? What
exactly is it is what we're
going to talk about, and how to
diagnose the right issue is a
huge part of getting this right.
So I'm pretty excited to share
this with you. We've learned
this from not only doing it
ourselves with our horses, but
also helping many of our
students and incredible riders
along this journey as well.
Yesterday, I wanted to bring my
horses CJ up to the indoor here.
But the conditions are
incredibly dangerous for the
journey from their pasture
to the indoor, we've had warming
trend that has melted snow, and
then at night, it freezes. So
there's like a sheet of ice, and
I had to actually lead her step
by step. But I knew where the
ice was because I've been
walking those paths frequently.
So I had to guide her, I had to
lead her step by step pretty
much along the way precisely
where I crossed the path that
was icy. And then I went over to
the other one. And then I went
down into the forest where we're
not, we're not plowing, and so
it was good going down there,
but deep snow, and then leading
her up the hill, and again onto
the driveway and up to the
indoor. So she had to have
extreme connection with me to be
able to do that going back down
from the indoor was more of a
challenge. Because there's a
hill, right, so we had to walk
down the hill, it was good
footing on the hill. But it was
just the fact that we had to
walk down the hill, which
presented more challenging
situations from my horses point
of view. But still, I had to be
the one who was guiding her or
leading her. And this leads me
to my next point, which is that
being an effective rider, being
effective with your horse is
like a doorway, it's like
opening a door, you're opening
the door into where you have
everything that you need in
there, you have support, you
have guidance, you have
strategies, you have skills, you
have techniques, and you have
partnership. So you're opening
the door for you and your horse
to go through the doorway into
that place. Let's talk about the
guidance a bit to be an
effective guide. And some people
like to call this leadership or
be, you know, be the leader, you
have to guide yourself. First,
you have to be an effective
guide of yourself, and then also
an effective guide of your
horse. So as you guide yourself
and your horse, the thing that
you need to do is practice
discernment. So discernment for
me, is having the insight or
having the understanding right
to be able to choose, right? Is
it my riding technique? Is it my
horse isn't ready? Is it that my
horse isn't listening? So having
enough discernment, that you can
choose which one of those it is
and then act upon it, right? You
can observe, you can evaluate,
you can use the process of
discernment. And then you can
choose how to make your next
move. Next move happen. insight
and understanding is what
discernment means for me, have
you ever heard the saying, being
at the controls, a pilot is at
the controls. And this is what I
sometimes think about that I'm
at the controls. It's not that
I'm controlling. I'm just at the
controls. I'm guiding my horse,
and I'm at the controls. So as a
pilot would be right or as a
director in a play would be.
you're providing inspiration and
you're providing lead as you are
at the controls. So another door
you open another part of the
door that you open is the door
into partnership and this is
something that happens not
happens all the way along the
journey. Right. It's the
preparation For those times,
like I told you about when I had
to leave my horse up on, on on
the ice, right, the partnership
is always worked on so that it's
there when I needed and I really
needed her to connect with
me and listen to me and follow
my guide, right, I really needed
her to do that, at that point in
time, for her safety and for my
safety. So partnership, the
core, the core of the
partnership is the trust, then
the companionship, right. And
also emotions. So my example of
my horse bringing her up, we had
trust, I trusted her completely,
she trusted me that I would be
there for her, whatever. But
then there comes to be the part
about emotions. And this is what
I want to talk about now is the
emotions. Because on the way
down, the story was different.
We had to go down the hill. And
as we went down the hill, for a
horse for their perspective,
right, all of a sudden, they
can't see behind them very well.
So it's like behind her was
completely and she couldn't x
access that area of her
awareness she was so she started
to worry, she started to worry
that something like I don't know
what a cougar or something big
was going to come appear at the
crest of the hill and come down
on her and us as we descended
the hill. So that's when the
emotion of worry started to come
in for her. And when that
emotion of worry comes in.
That's when I need to be in the
place that I'm holding her
right, I need to hold her
through her emotions, I need to
be there with her. I need to
show her that I can hold her and
be there and she's not on her
own. Right? If I was to get
caught up in her emotions at
that point in time, I can tell
you at that point in time, I did
have an instant when it was
like, Oh my god, what if she's
going to run off? And what does
she takes off to the herd of
horses, she's going to slip and
fall she's gonna hurt herself.
And it's going to be a disaster.
Those things go through my mind
because she started to dip
bounce around like crazy rear up
and down and go sideways down
the hill. So at that point in
time, I then have an emotional
reaction. Right? My emotional
reaction was like, What if this
happens? My horse was having an
emotional reaction to the
situation. What if something big
comes down that hill and I can't
see it coming and I won't be
able to do anything about it. At
that point in time, that's when
our partnership really kicks in.
Because she trusted me. Right?
She's a 1400 pound horse. If she
didn't trust me, she would have
just broken away and taken off
towards the herd of horses. But
she didn't. She stayed with me.
I trusted her that she wouldn't
jump on top of me. Right, she
trusted me that I would be her
guide throughout this. So we
have the partnership, we have
the trust, we have the
companionship, then when
emotions get into the scene,
like they did with my horse on
the other day. And there's fear
and there's genuine fear there.
That's when I still need to be
the guide. And I need to be not
falling into her story of fear.
There's a temptation to do that
isn't there. But I need to have
the strength not to do that. And
this is exactly what we do in my
program is we have a process
that shows you how to do that.
Anyway, I need to be her
emotional guide at that point
and give her emotional guidance,
not controlling, right, I'm
acknowledging her emotions, but
then I'm still guiding her. So I
still walked down the hill, no
matter what she was doing, you
know, bouncing in the air going
sideways down the hill, I still
walk down the hill. It's okay,
I'm here for you. We're still
going to walk into the forest
into the deep style to get home.
That's what I mean about being a
guide. It's not a dominating and
leadership. It's not an ego
centric way of approaching
things where the power comes
into it.
It's
still staying as the guide. The
opening of the door is also to
discernment. We mentioned that
earlier. What discernment is and
how do we get that discernment?
How do we get to the place where
we can
make the right choices at the
right time. A lot of people we
talked to get Caught up in the
perfectionism of things, right?
And perfectionism is difficult
because yes, we do want to learn
how to do it. Right? Right, we
want to know, we want to get the
best that we can be, and do it
right for our horses. But
sometimes, if you get caught up
in the perfectionism that does
not allow you to have
discernment, just like if you
get caught up in emotions, that
does not allow you to then
access discernment. Right? It's
a balancing act, isn't it? It's
a balancing act. If you're too
much into the side of
perfection, when you're to the
point where you're not enjoying
it, then that doesn't make
sense. Either. It's knowing
ourselves, knowing where we are
emotionally, and knowing how
emotions come through us. That's
a key point. It's not emotions
that get stuck. Okay, so yes,
we're going to have emotions,
we're going to go through
difficult times with our horses,
but how do emotions go through
us? How do they get stuck? How
do we unstuck them? How do we
get emotions going through, so
then we can access the ability
to evaluate and have
discernment. And that's what we
do in my program, is we have
a process for that for riders.
So being able to have
discernment, having the process
is before, right, having a
process from before helping you
with emotions, helping you with
with being able to access
discernment, so that you're well
prepared for when these
situations come around. And then
having an actual process and
during the times that you're
riding your horse, right, having
a process that when you're with
your horse, and you really need
to access discernment, that you
can access it quickly and access
it easily. And this is what we
do in my program as well, we
have the process of preparation,
and we have the process of
during when you're with your
horse. So we strive to learn the
very, very best that we can to
be for horses, but really, in
the end of the day, at the end
of the day, you have to get out
with your horse and just do it,
don't you, right? I mean, we can
talk about it and discuss but
you have to do your preparation,
you have to do your homework, do
the time, away from your horse,
and then just get out with your
horse and do it and not be
pondering about everything that
can go wrong, right? So getting
into the perfectionism that I
talked about and pondering
about, well, what if this goes
wrong? What if that goes wrong?
What if this right, that's
falling into a story. So keeping
it simple, having processes of
preparation that you have before
you're with your horse, and
having a process that's
effective, that helps you be an
effective rider, when you're
actually with your horse is the
best that you can possibly be
with your back with your horse.
And so you can ride and be
effective. If you would like
support in this way. If you'd
like this process that I'm
talking about and support in
this way, then there'll be a
link somewhere around this video
that you can click on. And that
will take you to a Schedule page
where you can book a call with
one of the people on my team or
myself. And we can chat about
how we can help you with your
process and how we can help you
to get to the point where you
are an effective rider and
effective at being able to
access the discernment. Because
discernment can be just one
little thing, right? It can be
just one tiny thing that needs
changed with the way you're
working with your horse, the way
you're riding, the way you're
seeing things where you're
perceiving. But you're not able
to see it, you're not able to
see it, you need help with that.
And that's what we do in my
program. So check out that link.
Feel free to put questions and
answers for me. So thanks so
much for joining me. Great to
have you here. And I will see
you next time. Have a great
weekend. Okay, bye for now.