'This will always be my land.'
Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
‘You wanna cut off my head?’
We’re looking at low budget supernatural Western, Devil Rider.
‘Who are you? What do you want?’
‘Your lives.’
Guilty of killing 5 people, the so-called Devil Rider is strung up.
‘Damn he was a weird fella’
Yeah, ‘weird’. But...
‘You can’t kill me ever.’
A hundred years later 4 couples visit the area with plans of turning a farmstead into a Dude ranch,
led by Tom who is related to one of the Rider’s victims.
‘Wait til you see this place. It’s almost like I’ve got roots here out’
What is he talking about? But…
‘Oh they’re gonna be sorry. Real sorry.’
This is farmhand Zeb.
‘They think I’m just a crazy old men but we know better, don’t we’
My favourite character.
He doesn’t think this dude ranch is going to be so simple.
‘He ain’t gonna let you do it’
The couples settle in.
‘Did your father ever kiss you like that?’
and the director cleverly implies a sex scene by subtle juxtaposition...
'Are you ready?'
'I'm ready.'
...with an old man shooting cans.
Next time we’ll try for the full six pack.
Over dinner, Zeb tells the story of the Devil Rider.
‘He was taken right to Hell by the Devil himself. He’s allowed back every once in a while to kill again’
Part of Hell’s day release program.
‘And you say you saw him when you were a boy’
'Yep.'
Zeb relates the terrifying encounter.
‘When this hits the ground, draw.’
That’s it?
‘He rode these hills for years, murdering, killing, torturing sometimes.’
Although he just gave me a dollar so… I don’t know, maybe that wasn’t him.
Of course, that’s not the only time Zeb saw him.
‘He just stood there on his horse, looking down at me’
I’ll be honest Zeb, your personal experience of the Devil Rider is really undermining the terror.
But all that changes when Chuck and Mary go for a walk, and…
‘Ran, Mary, run!’
I’ll just lie down for a bit.
'No, don't... Arrrrrrgh'
Next day, the rider returns, pinning them down.
‘We’re all gonna die’
He didn’t even give me a dollar this time!
Despite aiming almost exclusively at the ground.
The rider shoots Mike.
‘Run Carol! For God’s sake, run!’
Leave him, he’s dead weight!
‘Carol! Carol!’
I’m hurt here!
I’m sure hero Tom will save him.
'We can't stay here come on. Run.'
Tough day to be Mike. But at least things can’t get worse.
'No, no, no'
Like I said, tough day to be Mike, and Zeb is there to comfort his widow.
‘Sure is a hard way to die’
Tom’s ‘leave him behind’ attitude has not made me warm to our lead
and later on, Buddy’s wife, Janet is kidnapped by the Rider.
Buddy, has been very much the jerkish antagonist throughout,
‘I wouldn’t give the sweat off my ass for this place’
but of course he’s going to save his wife.
‘He’s got Janet. I’ve gotta get her!’
Until...
‘He’s killed everybody he’s come near. She’s probably dead already’
Probably. 90%. Not worth checking.
Anyway we’ve established our policy of leaving people to die, we can’t change it now.
‘We’re gonna make it out of this’
I am, anyway. I’d prefer you to make it too but if you fall behind then… I’ve explained my policy, I think it’s fair.
‘Our friends are being killed, that’s what not fair’
Amazing how little ice this cuts with Tom.
Could you at least try to say something heroic.
‘All I know is I just have to stop this’
Wow, that is an amazingly meaningless line.
You could say that Tom is being pragmatic, but something I didn’t mention.
‘You can only kill him with his sabre.’
he knows how to kill the Rider.
‘Cut off his head!’
Information he does not share with anyone else.
And it really might have helped when they eventually do go to rescue Janet
who, turns out, beat the odds and was still alive.
Just being tortured.
Obviously dead by the time they get there.
And Buddy vents his rage on the rider, rather than where it belongs on Tom.
Now would be the time to mention that this won’t kill him but you know what will.
‘Die! Die!’ ‘Buddy!’
Oh no, now who will I use as a human shield?
‘This is no time for joking, Buddy’
But you see my point.
‘If you know so much why don’t you do something?!’
If the others had known how to kill the rider they might have acted differently
and done what Tom, of course, does.
‘Go back to hell you son of a bitch’
Thank God I was able save myself.
You too, I guess.
The Dark Corners hall of worthless heroes is a crowded one,
filled with jerks, misogynists and idiots,
but there is a special place for Tom in the Track of the Moon Beast annex of the unimaginably-selfish.
‘We’re gonna get out of this’
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a lead character quite so keen to abandon his friends,
and yet the movie still try to present him as the hero.
'We better get Karen to another room.'
'That's good idea fella, shes starting to feel kinda gamey.'
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What other heroes are resolutely out for number one? Let us know in the comments below.
'I hope thise folks is gone before he comes back.'