- My name is Sam Fuentes.
You might not remember me, but in high school
we walked the same hallways.
You knew my friends.
I knew where you sat at lunch.
Hey, we were even both in the JROTC together.
We were still children back then.
I was still a child when I saw you standing at the window,
peering into my Holocaust Studies class,
holding your AR-15
that had swastikas, ironically, scotched into it.
I was still a child after I watched you
kill two of my friends.
I was still a child when you shot me with your gun.
You shot me in the leg,
and if you looked me in the face,
like I'm looking at you right now,
you would see the scars on it
from the hot shrapnel that was lodged into it.
Do you remember,
after you sprayed my classroom with bullets,
standing in the door, peering in to see the work you've done --
do you remember my little battered,
bloodied face looking back at you?
I could have sworn we locked eyes.
This is only the beginning of how you ruined my life
and many others.
It's not the physical suffering.
It's not just that you killed and injured
a total of 34 people.
It's the fact that I'll have to live with the aftermath of this
for the rest of my life.
I'll always have PTSD, depression, anxiety,
suicidal ideations.
Speaking of suicide, three students killed themselves
because of what you did.
Now, to speak quite frankly, not only do
I want to kill myself sometimes, I live with constant fear
that someone exactly like you will finish off the job
you failed to do by not killing me.
You gave me and many others a lifetime of trauma, pain,
and suffering long after you committed this crime,
and for what?
You are nobody now.
You're not special.
You have no longer the power anymore.
You will step away from this,
and you'll have the most unremarkable,
pathetic existence, one in which I only pray that you suffer.
I remember the person you were.
I remember how you terrorized and threatened
and fought my friends, even after many of them
made efforts to get to know you better.
I remember how enthusiastic you were to incite violence
and spread your racist hate speech publicly.
I could have saved all of us 4 1/2 years.
So, here it is.
You were a hateful bigot with an AR-15 and a God complex.
You still are, minus the gun.
You might have everyone else fooled,
but not me, because this is personal.
Racism is not a mental illness.
Perfectly planned and articulated manifestos and plans
are not characteristics of the sickly
or the mentally unhinged.
You are not this helpful, vulnerable,
mentally ill adult the defense tried to paint you as.
And you certainly do not deserve any sympathy or pity
from me or anyone in this courtroom.
You had circumstances that placed you
at odds with the world,
yet instead of trying to solve your problems,
you threw a tantrum of lethal and tremendous size,
like a pathetic, entitled child.
You made the message clear that you lack the competency
to make any decisions except those that resort to violence.
I assure you you will not be famous for this.
I assure you that our people will be accounted for.
They'll grow and heal despite you.
I assure you that I will be excitedly
anticipating your demise.
And I will assure you that you will remember my face,
and it will make you sick.
You have no power anymore.
You have no future.
You have nothing.
I'll get to walk out of this courthouse without cuffs
and go home. You will not.
The people that you killed will have a legacy
much more important than you.
And the people who you nearly killed will live their lives,
though with much difficulty, with a compassion and a dignity
in ways you will only dream.
Without your stupid gun, you are nothing.
My name is Sam Fuentes, and you will not forget me.
I'll never forgive or forget what you've done.
And to say I won't be angry for the rest of my life
would be a lie,
even though I know that's exactly what you want.
Though I'm angry about this verdict
and believe you do not deserve to share the same earth
as the rest of us, unlike you, in a state of great adversity
I can proudly say
I'll never stoop as low as you will and as you did.
I'll never take my anger, pain, and suffering out on others
because I am stronger than you.
This entire community that stands behind me
is stronger than you, and we are stronger
than the hate that you give.
My name is Sam Fuentes.
You will not forget me.
You will not forget us,
not until the last day you breathe.