- Hello, you guys, I hope you are having a great day.
It is a rough day in the Williams household.
If you guys read the comments on yesterday's vlog,
or if you follow our Facebook page,
or Corey on Instagram then you heard
the news about our cat, Loki.
He left us today.
I did want to vlog just a little bit today.
It's not gonna be a long vlog,
but I just said I just wanted you guys
to know kind of what's going on.
As you guys probably know,
Loki has been sick for a long time,
he was a special needs cat when Cory got him.
And his gums were like attacking his teeth,
and we had to have his teeth removed.
And then after moving here to Oklahoma,
he got a fungal infection in his lungs.
And then he was doing better.
Like he came home, he was doing great for a really long time
and the past maybe two or three days,
everything just kind of went downhill.
He stopped eating, he stopped drinking,
and when we woke up this morning, it was not good.
So, we rushed into the vet ER.
We love this place, they did an excellent job
when he had his fungal infection.
And the doctor there told Corey that they could try,
but you're looking at very, very, very low chances
of him making a recovery.
So, Corey bravely made the decision to just put Loki
kind of out of his misery, you know,
he was in a lot of pain.
There's part of me that says,
I wish you guys could have seen him this morning,
but most of me, just, I don't want you guys to see that,
I want you to remember him as the goofy awesome cat.
Sparta is actually having a really tough time.
Sparta knows, and that's probably the hardest part.
Just watching Corey...
And watching Sparta...
It's fascinating to me how...
How Sparta can know, I mean, he...
He knows guys, and he's sad.
He's really, really sad.
- Alright, I should probably talk to you guys.
So, I know Kristen just told you what happened today.
And, it's been, as you can, I mean, it's hard.
It's never easy, this sort of thing, right?
Excuse my cleats, I'm wearing cleats
to try to aerate the lawn.
I've been doing everything I possibly can
to just ease my mind.
Doing things that aren't related to cats.
It's not helping.
But I've been trying to...
It's hard.
Like all day today I'm just on and off
crying because my boy's gone.
I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna turn this into that.
I'm working on a video for him.
It's not going to be a sad video.
I mean, it's sad because everybody knows
what happened, right, but...
I'm going to make a video that celebrates his life,
and in a beautiful way that ends on a beautiful note.
It will be emotional at the end of it.
But the video, I want it to be from his point of view,
not from ours, not from, here's his most watched videos,
or any of that stuff, no, it's about him and his life.
Just like I would do a memorial for
anybody else in my family.
So, it's going to take me some time.
However, I would like your help.
There are a lot of vlogs that Loki is featured in
that he's had some really funny Loki moments
that I can't find, and I can't watch all of them.
And I don't remember all of them
because I have a horrible memory.
But I need your help finding them.
The moments that I'm talking about are some of the moments
where when I call him and he comes running full speed and...
Lots of moments that are really good
that you guys can remember.
Every moment was good for me with him...
Even the last one.
We did everything.
Everything we could to save him.
Everything.
I laid with him the day before.
I saw it, and I worked really hard to try to do something,
but he fought...
He fought tooth and nail, with what little teeth he had.
When I brought him into the doctor today
they said that he had lost two and a half pounds more
than the last time that they had seen him.
Even though he had lost all of his weight
that there was no more middle part...
(crying)
His middle part, for years, I've been trying
to understand what that was.
I found out what it was.
His middle part was the last two weeks...
That he got to be with us, it was the reserve,
it was his reserves. (crying)
And he gave us a great last two weeks,
even though they were very hard.
I got to hear him meow, he was still very affectionate.
Even this morning, I don't know how deeply
Kristen went into how we found him this morning,
but it was very bad, awful, awful, awful morning.
It was very evident that he was dying.
But even in his last moments,
he was still my puggy, he was still there.
While he couldn't purr, he was, I could tell that
he was still there with me, and he loved me very much.
But I say that that last moment was also a good moment
because, as I held him, the doctor...
They gave him four shots in the IV thing.
They had his arm, the first one was just a sleep thing...
Just so he could fall asleep, and wouldn't feel anything.
They administered the first one, he fell asleep.
Halfway through, I just wanted to tell the doctors,
"Stop, don't do it, don't do this, he's not ready."
But the stronger half of me says, "He needs this."
I know this, and he knows this, everybody knows this.
The doctor finished...
And I was hurt, and I knew, "Here comes the next one."
The next shot was a painkiller to stop the pain.
And it wasn't a very big shot because he was already asleep.
And then when they finally administered
the third shot and fourth shot,
which were both the shots to...
End his pain, I felt him just comfortably fall asleep,
he was already asleep, but I felt him, I felt him go.
And it was the worst, best feeling ever
because I knew that he wasn't suffering anymore.
I was shaking, I was crying, and all I felt
was the most immense love for this guy.
And I was just talking to him the whole time...
Even after he was gone.
I just sat there with him,
happy and sad all at the same time.
Loki wasn't a cat, he never was.
Loki was another angel in my life.
He helped me through a lot of stresses,
and life stuff, and made great days better, you know.
He was funny, he was crazy, he was weird...
He was a very unique cat and he was very loved.
That's why I need to take time so that the video
that I'm going to make for him is right.
I can't just like put out, I need to,
I need to do it right for him,
just like he did for me all these years.
(sighs) So...
It's gonna take awhile to heal, Sparta...
Sparta's not doing too good, emotionally.
Physically, and everything, he looks beautiful,
and he's active, and he's all that, he's great,
he's perfect, healthy.
But he's tore up emotionally, and I can see it.
He's not, he doesn't even quite look like Sparta right now
with the faces he's making, and I know...
A couple reasons I know,
I hate to go into this very much more,
I'm gonna stop talkin' about this pretty soon,
but the way that I told Sparta was, of course,
I came home, I made sure before I left
that he got to say goodbye to Loki.
I brought Sparta next to Loki.
Loki couldn't get up, he was on the floor, it was not good.
I talked to them both like people, you know,
but like I would talk to my cats.
And I pet them together, and then Sparta gave Loki
a head bump and all that stuff.
And I know at that point,
Sparta didn't think anything of it really, he just thought,
"Okay, we're both getting pets, and yes,
"Loki's sick, but whatever."
But when I came home, I smelled like Loki,
Loki was not with me.
And then there is a smell that comes
along with death for animals, you know.
And sometimes you can smell it too.
When I worked in the fire department, I know that.
Another story, but...
I cuddled with Sparta, I could tell that he was concerned.
And I played the video for him from the doctor.
And some people say that cats can't see videos,
I think the differ, I think they do.
Maybe to certain extent, maybe they just hear, I don't know
but he watched it...
And it's like he instantly knew,
he instantly understood what was happening
because his face changed...
And he just like dropped his head into my arm,
and wouldn't move.
But it's a beautiful day,
and I at least get to know that I did everything for my boy
from beginning to end.
And I'm happy for that.
My family is growing...
My son is going to be here soon, ish.
My daughter is growing sweet, smart, amazing, brave, funny.
And Sparta, he's Sparta, he's the mean kitty,
and he's my son, too, you know, he's my boy.
Alright, I'm gonna go ahead and call it.
I need more time for myself, but...
Thank you guys for listening,
and for all the thoughtful things you said
on my Facebook and everything, and Twitter, not Twitter,
I'm not on Twitter, I mean my Instagram and all that stuff.
Thank you.
- Today is a very tough day for us,
but it is a beautiful day.
So, we are going to enjoy the outdoors, enjoy the beauty,
focus on all the good things we have in life.
Like Corey and his noisy shoes.
(laughing)
He has his cleats on because he's been out here with Chell
so he figured he might as well aerate the lawn.
- [Corey] Look at that, there's your flowers.
- [Kristen] Is it, yeah, okay so this type of plant
I have no clue what it's called,
but it gets a lot bigger than this,
and it is my favorite type of plant.
I love these little flowers.
- [Corey] Show Momma how you do it.
- [Kristen] Pretty.
- [Corey] Blow.
(gasping)
- [Kristen] Whoa!
- Blow.
Good job.
Do it again.
Again.
(laughing)
Yay.
Let's go find more, huh.
Spread these weeds.
Because that's gonna be fun later.
- Weeds are just weeds because people call them weeds,
like all these purple flowers we have,
I think they're beautiful,
but a lot of people don't like 'em.
- Yeah, but that's because they're called chick weeds.
But technically, they are weeds.
- [Kristen] Okay, yeah yeah.
- You could say weeds are bad,
but they're not always bad.
If they were called weeds because they're bad
they'd be called, "Chick do-not-wants".
(laughing)
You do not want them.
- [Kristen] Right.
- Get this lawn on.
- [Kristen] Get it.
- Yeah, I wanna get like bigger ones,
so I can just really get in there.
It makes your lawn thicker when you do this.
A cricket, do you see it?
It's right there.
Let's see if we can catch it, very softly now.
You see him?
Wow, it's actually a grasshopper.
That's a grasshopper.
- [Kristen] How do you know the difference?
- The head, the way the body's shaped...
And a scientific guess. (laughs)
It looks like a grasshopper to me.
Isn't that cool, there he goes.
He jumped away.
Look, there he is, he's on the flower.
- Can I sit?
- Yeah, you can sit.
There you go, put your feet through.
Ready?
Do you wanna go higher?
Touch the sky.
Whee!
Yeah, whoo-hoo!
(shouting playfully)
Whoo-hoo!
- Wati?
- [Kristen] Yeah, water.
(slow acoustic music)
(murmuring)
Okay.
(slow acoustic music)
What do you do with that water?
(slow acoustic music)
- Look how beautiful the flowers are on this tree.
They don't smell yet.
They're really pretty to look at.
Hopefully, they're really fragrant.
What you got?
Don't put that in your mouth, no.
No.
(slow acoustic music)
Well, guys, it has been one heck of a day.
I know I look kinda beat.
It's late, and it's been tough, you know,
given the circumstances, but we're still stayin' positive
because I know tomorrow is going to be better day.
So, let's go ahead and pull a letter.
How about this one?
That's right, I just pulled this invisible letter
because tomorrow, or in the next vlog,
if we're vlogging tomorrow...
We are going to reveal the name of our son.
This has been fun.
So, this is going to be your last chance to try
to guess his name, so leave a comment down below.
- But there's still letters up here that aren't in his name.
Don't try and make a name with all of these letters.
- No, no, no, no.
- I mean, you could. - If you want to.
- Yeah, and maybe we'll change it, I dont know.
(laughing)
- No, we're not gonna change it.
But yeah, so there you go, there are the letters,
so you guys can really see it.
Thanks for watchin', guys.
Thank you for all the love and support, the positivity,
and for everything you guys have been saying.
I've been spending a lot of my time reading what you guys
have been writing to me on Facebook and Instagram.
And...
Just yeah.
Thanks for watchin'.
We'll see you in the next one.
Good bye.