(off camera) So, like one solid piece of advice, like when someone, someone finds out that
you’re a dating coach, I’m assuming you get that question a lot.
Well what, give me a piece of advice for dating.
Do you have a “go to”? Or, or
Or does it depend on who’s asking you?
Alright, I’ll tell you a little story.
A recent story to answer that question.
But I’m actually going to make a YouTube video out of this.
So this will be kind of practice for what the YouTube video is gonna be.
Basically, I do get that question a lot.
A lot of people come to me, mostly women actually, because they’re just fascinated when I tell them
about what I do.
I'm like "Yeah, I’m a dating coach."
And some people will be like, they think they’re all suave, oh I’m going to ask you a really unique
question, what’s the one piece of dating advice that you give, or what do you tell guys the most?
And they’re not the only one to ask that question.
I get that question asked all the time.
And I think I give different answer because, I don’t know, whatever's on my mind at the
moment.
But someone the other week, actually it was a guy.
He asked me the question in a different way that got me answering it in a different way
and I really liked how he asked the question.
It was the same exact idea of what you’re asking, "What’s the one piece of dating advice? What’s
the thing?"
He asked me, and I hope I don’t butcher it here I have to remember how he did it.
He said something like “What’s the one thing that really makes all the difference?
Like when you’re talking to guys, what’s that one thing that makes all the difference?"
That was the basic line.
I was like ok he’s asking the same question that every one asks.
But he did it in a different way that got me thinking about how to answer it in a different
way, so I really liked it.
He’s like that one, that one thing that really kinda like have the most results.
And so, what I thought about, I did not have a quick answer for that.
I sat there with him for like five minutes because I’m like I’m going to answer this
really well, I need to think about this like what is that one thing?
And I think, and who knows, this could change in the next five years as I continue to coach
and learn more about how to teach guys.
But I think the one thing is really about being comfortable with who you are.
I think a lot of guys who are seeking dating advice and are trying to learn how to get
better with women and try to get a girlfriend or try to get laid or try to lose their virginity
or fall in love or whatever it is that they want.
I think those guys don’t yet feel comfortable in who they are.
Like they don’t, you know, I guess you can call that self-esteem or confidence.
Confidence is just very broad but that’s kind of what it is.
They don’t really feel that they can be themselves and who they are.
And it’s funny cause that is a very common piece of advice.
People are like “Just be yourself.”
But the problem with that piece of advice is…it’s hard to access that.
That’s what got me thinking.
That’s how I started to answer this question.
It’s like whoa.
That’s a good point.
It’s difficult to be yourself and that’s like a really deep thought and it’s like
“Well how is that possible?
You’re just you.”
It’s like, you’re not though.
You’re not always just being you.
There’s a lot of times we put on a mask, we put on a front.
I think we have a lot of layers that we have in front of ourselves that we don’t know
how to shed because of our insecurities and because how were raised by our parents and
because of our self-esteem issues.
I think that I’m trying my best at least to teach guys how to shed those layers and
be who they are and reach that point of what we would call authenticity.
And if you’re able to get to that point, that’s the point where magic happens.
Now we’re just talking about specifically dating, so I think that the magic happens
there is, you’re gonna be with a woman or you’re gonna be a the girl and they’re
going to be able to tell.
They can just tell.
It’s like a sixth sense of “Whoa this guy is just like really confident because
he’s being him.
He’s not putting on any kind of front.”
And they see that and that’s what sparks that little piece of attraction right there.
That's like whoa, ok, I think I dig this guy.
And again to get to that point I think that’s like what I teach.
I’m trying to teach how to get there and, as you go to my YouTube
channel, there’s a lot of little techniques and things like that in terms of, oh this
is an opener, this is a pick up line, this is how you continue conversation.
Cause I really think that the way to access that point is by going out there and talking
to girls and practicing basically being able to communicate and it's fine if you start
doing that and you have those layers and you’re not being you right away cause that’s
just, you know, it’s gonna be impossible.
You’re just not going to be able to all of a sudden “Be you!” and then go talk
to a girl.
It’s just, it’s very difficult.
So I’m trying to really push guys to take action.
So on my podcast and my Youtube channel, I’m giving them a lot of techniques and a lot of like,
“Hey, go out and try this.
Go out and to this.”
Cause I think that with that practice of being able to go out there and you know, use some
conversation techniques, learn some touching techniques and then going out there and trying
them.
You’re going to start to feel more comfortable with women.
You’re going to start to feel more comfortable with yourself and then the more you do it,
if you continue it, hopefully you don’t give up, then you can actually naturally start to shed
those layers.
Cause you’re like “Oh I don’t really need to, you know be so focused on the technique
anymore or the formula.”
You just start to kind of naturally not give a shit and start to slowly become the version
of you.