[applause]
[presenter] I'm pleased to be presenting Russell Peters
with an honorary degree this afternoon.
To say Mr. Peters is a phenom is an understatement.
From...
[laughter]
From humble beginnings, uh,
in the South Asian community northwest of Toronto,
Russell Peters has become one of the biggest attractions in the world.
He sells out Madison Square Garden and the Air Canada Centre,
as well as theatres from London-
[laughter]
...to Sydney, to Los Angeles, to Mumbai.
He was named by Forbes magazine,
along with Jerry Seinfeld and Chris Rock,
one of the world's top grossing comedians.
[applause]
[laughter]
And this without a TV show or feature film
to catapult him tis- to attention.
He has also performed for our troops in Afghanistan and Iraq,
as well as soldiers on the USS Eisenhower.
And he frequently-
[applause]
And he frequently, uh, hosts Lorne Frohman's Gilda Gala,
which is occurring this Monday, I believe, in Toronto.
Russell Peters is the quintessential voice
of a new generation of Canadians.
I'll never forget the first time I saw him years ago
at Mark Breslin's Yuk Yuk's.
He was talking about Indian musicals, uh, impersonating them,
talking about his family,
the challenges of making it in a white world,
and he made me physically ill with laughter.
[laughter]
Russell Peters doesn't just tell jokes, he observes us, all of us,
with our foibles and shortcomings.
[laughter]
And he acts up when I'm making an introduction.
[laughter]
Um, his humour, uh, tells us that laughing at ourselves
and enjoying ourselves transcends differences.
The genius of the humour is that it makes us feel better
rather than worse about ourselves.
[laughter]
He is the rightful heir to George Carlin and Richard Pryor,
and he... he remains ever humble and true to himself.
He said recently, and I quote,
"If someone offers me a million dollars to do a shuffling, bumbling Indian guy,
they can keep their million bucks.
The real reward is the look of happiness on people's faces
when they hear me talking to their experiences
in a way that nobody's done before."
[laughter]
Russell Peters has been a friend to Humber
and has come to speak to our students before.
He has generously given his time to encourage young comedians
to look at the world a little differently and confidently
from the- from their own unique vantage point.
And he is, and was, an inspiration to us.
We wanted to create a safe haven
in which young people could strive in their art,
uh, without recrimination and ultimately triumph.
It is our ardent hope that we shall one day produce
our own Russell Peters, now that he has shown the way.
We are thril- thrilled that he is back here with us today.
It is our honor to pre- presenting Russell Peters
with an honorary degree in Applied Arts.
[applause]
[Russell Peters] It's the real thing.
[applause]
Thanks.
When I, uh, first walked in today I saw all these people and I went, wow,
this is the oldest graduating class I've ever seen.
[laughter]
And then there you guys were, whew.
Um, I'd like to start off by thanking you guys for this.
Um, my brother once told me,
well not once, he didn't tell me once, he told me...
He- listen, I found out
that you guys were giving me a degree and I thought to myself, "Holy shit."
[laughter]
That's all I thought. I, um...
Um, here's a guy who went
to North Peel Secondary School in Brampton.
Um, none of you went there, don't act like you did.
It you did, you wouldn't be here today.
[laughter]
That laughter was a little too real, sir.
Um, I'm not a guy who went to college,
I did go to Sheridan College for, I think, a month,
and, uh, that was back in '89, when some of you weren't born yet,
and I got kicked out for DJing instead of going to class.
Um, but then again I'm a guy who's never really thought
I'd be doing any of these things in my life.
We have, uh, guys like Mark Breslin who are here
who created the, uh, Yuk Yuk's chain in which I started at.
And without that club I would probably
never be standing in front of you today right now.
So, please give a round of applause for Mark Breslin.
[applause]
And Lorne Frohman who even told me
I could talk to his daughter if I wanted to,
um, that's a sign of respect my friend, knowing what a pig I was.
I started doing stand up in 1989,
and, uh, I didn't really have a goal in mind,
I just kinda thought if I could make a living at it
that would have been fine for me.
And, um, if you are getting into whatever...
Watch out, my water broke.
I, um, this, this water.
Um...
If you do plan on getting into the entertainment field,
which I'm thinking some of you may have plans on,
I want you to, uh, not get into it with the focus on money or an endgame,
you gotta do it because you love doing it.
And there's a lot of people in this business
that are just doing it because they wanna make money,
and that's not what this is for.
I... I look at is as an artist and, uh, whether I'd made it or not made it,
if I didn't make it we wouldn't be standing here today,
let's be honest, um, I would be just as funny and broke.
And you guys would be like, who cares
if you're here to get a degree, you didn't make it.
Um... but I do it because I love doing it
and that's the reason I'm still doing it 21 years later.
And whether I got paid or didn't get paid,
I would still be doing it.
And that's how you should always approach
the entertainment business, whether it be writing,
or performing, or on camera,
whatever it is you choose to do in this business,
um, but always approach it because you love doing it.
There has to be the passion involved with it,
and I think once you're true to the art it will, uh, it'll all ring true for you
and it'll work out in the way it's supposed to.
Now that I've not read the script at all that I've written.
I have no clue where I am in this page.
[laughter]
Time to mock these people again.
Um...
[laughter]
I think it's great that a white kid won the Oscar Peterson Award.
[laughter]
You know, five years ago my, uh, my whole career, my whole world,
changed because of the Internet and YouTube.
And without the Internet, I'd still be playing the clubs,
which I love to play, Mark.
Um, Mississauga, in particular, was my favorite club.
Thanks.
Um... [laughter]
I'd like to thank Mark Breslin for little or no reaction.
I, uh, I would still be living in my townhouse in Woodbridge,
but I'd still be loving my job.
When my career exploded, I thought I was ready
for what was about to happen,
and, uh, you're never really ready for success.
You may dream about it day and night,
and when it happens, it's a very different thing.
It's not something that just happens and you go, "Alright, here it is."
It's really way more than you think it is.
My friends saw me a different way
and I still viewed myself as the same guy.
And, uh, you know, I went from completely broke
to being a millionaire – woe is me.
I know, boo hoo, poor brown guy.
[laughter]
But I was still, mentally, the same person
that I was when I was broke and I still am.
The same guy.
I was broke for a lot longer than I've had money for
and that's the person I know the most and the best.
It's a tough thing to adapt to
but when it comes, you should be ready for it,
if it comes, you should be ready for it,
but there is no preparing for it.
Even thought my Dad's not here physically to see me today,
I don't know what that has to- that was a horrible segue, but...
[laughter]
I know he's here watching me.
My Mom is here, she's sitting there in the front row.
[applause]
She's sitting right beside my, uh, my grade eleven and twelve teacher
at North Peel, Mr. Cohler, who was a,
who was a great mentor to me as well.
[applause]
You see, I took chef training for two years
'cause that's what I thought I was gonna do.
Clearly, I'm not good at it.
[laughter]
But he let me be me [clears throat]
he let me be me in class
and even with sharp knives, he let me be me.
Um... [clears throat]
My mom worked at the cafeteria in K-Mart in Brampton.
I don't know if you are from Brampton
but if you are, you know where K-Mart used to be,
410 and 7.
My Mom also worked at Cardinal Leger High School
in the cafeteria.
I come from a strong cafeteria family.
[laughter]
[clears throat] [laughter]
Ask not... Sorry, um, wrong speech.
[laughter]
How many of you plan on being comedians just by applause?
[applause]
You're never going to make it.
[laughter]
But I want you to enjoy doing it, that's what I'm trying to say.
In 1992, I was lucky enough to meet my mentor, George Carlin,
um, in Toronto – he was walking down, he was actually walking up Yonge Street
and I was walking down, it was the night the Blue Jays had,
uh, clinched the World Series
and, uh, wha- don't clap that was a long time ago.
We're never going to do that again.
I've got a better chance of the Leafs winning
the Stanley Cup, listen, um.
But when I saw George Carlin, I was just a smart-assed 22 year-old kid
and, uh, I was with my friends,
and everybody was partying up and down Yonge Street,
and I thought I was, I thought I was just being funny
and I saw this old white guy with a ponytail walking towards me,
not you Lorne, and, um....
You've cut the thing off, right? Good, thank God.
You looked ridiculous with it, um.
[laughter]
The bald guy in front, "Yeah, you do."
Um... [laughter]
You let 'em know, sir.
You look like a knuckle.
What I'm trying to say is...
[laughter]
You should have known better
than to give a smart-assed comedian an award.
[laughter]
[heightened applause]
What I'm trying to say is I don't think I have any business
giving you guys any advice,
or what to do with your lives when you leave here today.
I can only tell you
that you're gonna have to work hard and stay focused –
there's not short cut to success.
I meet a lot of young stand-ups who ask me how they can make it.
I don't know how you can make it.
I didn't how I- I didn't think I could make it
and I, I wouldn't have made it if YouTube had never happened.
If there was no Internet and there was no YouTube,
I'd still be the same guy doing The Office
in Peterborough on a Saturday night for 120 dollars.
But I loved that gig, Mark.
[laughter]
Or Excuses in Oshawa on a Sunday for 75 bucks.
Didn't love that gig.
[clears throat] There is no short cut.
A comic isn't a comic
until he, minimally, reaches the ten year mark –
that's when you start to get your legs and learn who you are.
At around the 15 mark, 15 year mark,
you should have figured out who you are and who you- what your voice is,
and at that point start thinking about what your next step is.
But for the first 15 years, it's all about training
and staying in that gym that we call comedy clubs.
And people ask me, uh, they're like, five, six years in,
they're like, hey, I wanna go to the States,
and I'm like, don't, you're not ready for it.
People told me- I think I was maybe twelve years in my career
when people were like, you should, you should go to the States,
and I was like, "I'm not ready."
They're like, you're funny, and I'm like, "That's fine
but there's a zillion funny guys there."
You need to have something that makes you you,
and speak in your voice,
and make sure the material you write and do can only be said by you.
Anybody can write a joke about camping,
but if you write a joke about camping that is uniquely your perspective,
then it's your joke and nobody can do that.
So, what I'm trying to say is...
I don't know what I'm trying to say.
I've totally gone off script here.
What I'm trying to say is I have the luxury of picking
and choosing what I do now, and I hope that one day you will too.
Congratulations and thank you very much.
[applause]