>> OKAY, THANK YOU ALL FOR JOINING
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
CAN EVERYONE HEAR ME?
HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M MUTED?
>> JAMES: WE CAN HEAR YOU.
>> GREAT.
SO, LOOK, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.
WHAT HAPPENED, GUYS?
>> I'M SHELL SHOCKED.
>> TOTALLY.
SHELL SHOCKED.
>> JAMES: I AM ALSO SHELL SHOCKED.
>> I'M SUPER DUPER, SUPER DUPER SHELL SHOCKED.
>> THERE'S A GLOBAL PANDEMIC, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE WORKING
FROM HOME AND WE DROPPED THE BALL.
THIS SHOULD BE OUR MOMENT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
>> I... NO IDEA.
>> JAMES: IT'S LIKE... 2020, MAN.
YOU KNOW?
>> WE ARE SKYPE, PEOPLE!
SKYPE!
AS RECENTLY AS FEBRUARY, WE WERE A VERB!
WE WERE THE THING.
"HEY, ARE YOU COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?"
"I CAN'T, I'M IN JOSHUA TREE WITH MY AUNT, BUT I CAN SKYPE
IN."
"OH, EVEN BETTER."
WHERE DID THAT GO?
>> JAMES: I THINK IT WAS-- >> NO, DON'T YOU SAY IT.
>> OH, YOU MEAN, Z-- >> DON'T YOU DARE SAY, "ZOOM."
>> JAMES: IT'S JUST REALLY HARD TO ANSWER THAT WITHOUT SAYING
ZOOM.
I MEAN, EVERYONE LOVES ZOOM.
ZOOM MEETINGS.
>> ZOOM TRIVIA NIGHTS.
>> ZOOM HAPPY HOURS.
>> ZOOM COURT HEARINGS TO GET CUSTODY OVER YOUR GOLDENDOODLE
"MUGSY" FROM YOUR WORTHLESS EX-FIANCE, STUART.
UGH, ZOOM'S THE WORST.
>> JAMES: HONESTLY, VIDEO CHAT SHOULDN'T BE EASY.
IF IT DOESN'T TAKE AT LEAST 25 MINUTES TO SET-UP, I'M NOT
INTERESTED.
I DON'T TRUST IT.
>> LIKE, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ZOOM IS.
WHAT IS THAT, LIKE A VENGA BOYS SONG?
>> NO, IT'S THE COMPANY THAT'S BEATING US IN EVERY SINGLE
NON-GRANDMOTHER-RELATED DEMOGRAPHIC!
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
WHAT HAVE THEY GOT THAT WE DON'T?
>> IT'S INEXPLICABLE.
>> WELL, IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING!
>> JAMES: TREVOR?
TREVOR...
TREVOR.
TREV!
I THINK HE'S FROZEN.
>> HUH?
OH, NO, SORRY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE VENGA BOYS.
I'VE GOT NOTHING.
>> IF I CAN JUMP IN HERE, ZOOM DOES HAVE SOME PRETTY COOL
FEATURES.
I MEAN, NOT COOL, I PERSONALLY HATE THEM, BUT, LIKE, YOU CAN
CHANGE YOUR BACKGROUND.
>> YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR BACKGROUND WITH SKYPE!
WATCH!
THERE!
NEW BACKGROUND!
>> JAMES: YOU JUST GOT UP AND MOVED YOUR COMPUTER.
>> YEAH, EXACTLY.
I SWITCHED BACKGROUNDS.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
>> JAMES: OKAY, BUT IF YOU WANT A TROPICAL ISLAND AS YOUR
BACKGROUND, YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY FLY TO A TROPICAL ISLAND.
>> DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A PROBLEM TO ME!
>> JAMES: WHERE'S OUR HEAD OF MARKETING?
HE SHOULD BE ALL OVER THIS.
HAS ANYONE SEEN LOUIS?
>> HE SHOULD BE HERE.
LET ME TEXT HIM.
>> SORRY, I HAD THE WRONG ZOOM ROOM-- NOT ZOOM ROOM, I MEAN,
SKYPE ROOM...
>> OH, MY GOD, THIS IS THE PROBLEM!
>> EXACTLY.
SKYPE DOESN'T RHYME WITH ROOM.
>> THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
>> WHAT IF WE ADDED A CHAT FEATURE?
>> ZOOM HAS IT.
>> RECORDING?
>> ZOOM HAS IT.
>> JAMES: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ZOOM DOESN'T HAVE.
THEY DON'T HAVE A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.
DO YOU HEAR A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE WHEN YOU ZOOM SOMEONE?
YOU DON'T HEAR A FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.
PLAY OUR FUNKY LITTLE JINGLE.
(SKYPE JINGLE) YAY!
>> I LOVE THAT SONG.
>> IT HONESTLY SAVED MY LIFE.
>> IT'S SO GOOD.
(EVERYONE SINGING SKYPE JINGLE) >> GUYS, STOP, STOP.
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
THIS IS THE WORST YEAR EVER.
NO ONE'S NAME HAS TAKEN A HARDER HIT THAN US.
>> NOBODY?
>> OH.
YEAH.
SORRY KAREN.
EXCEPT YOU.
>> SORRY, KAREN.
>> I'M SO SORRY, KAREN.
ARE YOU DOING OKAY?
>> I CAN'T COMPLAIN.
LITERALLY, I CAN'T COMPLAIN, EVER AGAIN.
>> ALRIGHT EVERYONE, FOCUS.
HOW DO WE WIN BACK THE HEARTS AND THE SCREENS OF AMERICA?
>> OKAY, WHAT DOES EVERYONE LOVE?
FREE STUFF AND VACATIONS.
>> JAMES: YES.
>> SO WHAT IF EVERY TIME SOMEBODY NEW SIGNS UP FOR
SKYPE...
>> JAMES: YES.
>> -- THEY'RE ENTERED INTO A RAFFLE TO WIN A FREE VACATION...
>> JAMES: LOVE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS.
>> ON A CARNIVAL CRUISE.
WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
YOU'RE SAYING THE WAY TO SAVE SKYPE DURING A GLOBAL PANDEMIC
IS TO GIVE OUR CUSTOMERS FREE TRIPS ON A CRUISE SHIP?
>> YES.
>> THAT'S GENIUS!
LET'S GET THE CONTRACT GOING.
I GOTTA JUMP OFF.
I HAVE A ZOOM WORKOUT WITH MY TRAINER IN FIVE, THEN I GOTTA
FACETIME MY KIDS.
MEETING ADJOURNED!
WE'RE BACK, BABY!
(CHEERS) >> James: WE'RE BACK, BABY,
YEAH!
GREAT MEETING, GUYS.
>> HOW TO I GET OUT OF HERE.
STILL SEE ME?
IS IT LIKE A HOAX?
>> James: IT'S A MEETING.
LET'S END THE MEETING.
( TALKING AT THE SAME TIME ) >> James: HOST.
THE HOST HAS TO END THE MEETING!