♪ Now let me see those titties bounce ♪
♪ Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce ♪
- So I have been traumatized.
End of story, end of story.
I feel like I've started every single video
over like the past few months giving y'all
some weird bad news about my life.
I am very sorry, I've been going through it.
I recently just went through something traumatizing
that has left me kind of just floating around
blurring my days together for the past two weeks.
Like I just realized today is Tuesday and not Sunday.
I've been in a slump.
I wish I was joking, like I wish this was a joke
and a bit, girl, but it's not, okay?
I'm still thinking about it and I'm like feeling weird.
Basically I've been like away from you guys for a bit.
I always hate doing that unannounced
but you know, shit happens.
But we're going to come back.
Giving you guys the spotlight
with your crazy ass weird ass sense of humor.
Thank you for watching my videos.
I have completely disregarded
my Discord page for about 10 months.
I already said I was gonna dive into this concept
like every four or so months but my ass was lying I guess.
Now we are here today.
I'm watching the videos you guys sent me.
Videos you guys really want me to see for some reason.
Half the time because you want me
to be traumatized even more.
You know, I already got a lot of that two weeks ago.
But nevertheless, she persisted, so we're doing this.
♪ Bounce, bounce ♪
♪ Boo da boo pa doo boo ♪
No cupcake, you get your own video, girl.
What is this?
"A Song About Birds."
Why not?
Let's do it.
Let's get into it, yeah.
♪ I just gotta ball ♪
♪ Get into it, yeah ♪
♪ Pop into to the troll ♪
♪ Get into it, yeah ♪
♪ If you go to church ♪
♪ Get into it, yeah ♪
♪ And if she and God are about to fuckin' get into it, yeah ♪
♪ Woodpecker bird likes pecking wood ♪
♪ The bluebird's a bird that sings pretty good ♪
- Hey.
♪ Sparrows are a bird that are pretty cool, aye ♪
♪ But the ibis is a bird that drinks bin juice all day ♪
- What?
♪ Crow is a bird where the heaps mad squawk ♪
- Okay.
♪ A cockatoo's a bird with a sick mohawk ♪
- Hold up.
♪ Chicken is a bird that tastes good and lays eggs ♪
- Wait, I got you.
♪ Pull up in the Mazda, ultimate real gangsta ♪
♪ With a bad bitch that came from Sri Lanka ♪
♪ Yeah I'm in the Tonka, call her Willy Wonka ♪
♪ You'll be the king but watch the queen conquer, bitch ♪
♪ Are birds that fall in love and mate for life ♪
♪ But ibises love nothing 'cause they're dead inside ♪
- What?
♪ Ibises aren't birds, they're feathered bin rats ♪
- Oh my god.
♪ The ibis, their beaks are gross and long ♪
♪ It's the ibis ♪
- Who?
♪ Picnic-wrecking jerks ♪
- Who, what is this gross ass-looking bird?
♪ Eagle bird soars through the sky as it hunts ♪
♪ But ibises are bin juice-drinking cunts ♪
- Oh my god, okay.
So this person very much has a bias
towards whatever the hell that bird is.
What is it called, an I-bird?
"Please stand for the Australian National Anthem."
Oh my god, what's an I-bird?
Iblis, what?
Not y'all making up words, what is this?
Ibis, who?
(Machaizelli sputters)
In the family thre-ka-da-da-kota-bata-data-mada-da-da-da-da.
Okay, win.
Moral of the story, don't mess with ibis,
ibids, ibuilds, ibiz, iba?
How do you say it?
- Ibis. - Ibis.
Girl, I don't know what that is.
Girl, I've never heard of that, okay?
I'm from America. (gunfire clacking)
The land of the free and the home of the brave
and the bald eagle. (eagle screeches)
♪ Bounce ♪
- What is this, is this a Short?
- People say I'm a self-insert Mary Sue slut.
- Yes.
- But the truth is I have 50 billion boyfriends
and they all love me.
- Yeah, same.
- And you're just mad that I'm having
way more fucking fun than you ever will.
Maybe you should try having 50 billion boyfriends too
because then you might not be such a salty, jealous bitch.
- Okay. - I'm just saying.
- Thank you.
I miss this app, what app was this again?
I forgot.
I remember when this app was a meme
back in like Vine days, Jesus Christ.
We've had smartphones for way too long, okay?
We need to get evolve from that, okay?
When are we gonna have phones in our mind?
Don't put a phone in my fuckin' mind.
Don't put a phone in my mind.
Elon Musk, shut the fuck up.
Didn't he kill like a monkey?
Didn't he try to put like a phone in their head?
Am I'm making this up?
♪ Bounce ♪
- "Snickers' Remixes," what did you call me?
♪ Bounce ♪
- "I let an AI rewrite Story of Untertale."
Okay, let me see.
I did play "Undertale," I played "Undertale."
If you guys wanna watch me play "Undertale,"
it's on my memberships.
(finger clicks)
(relaxed electronic music)
♪ Oh whoa, whoa, yeah ♪
♪ Ah ah, oh ♪
- Oh.
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
♪ Create a new folder ♪
♪ I fell from the light ♪
♪ Lived six weeks on earth ♪
♪ Had a 14 pound baby ♪
- What?
♪ I'm pregnant again ♪
- Okay.
♪ I fell through a cave on Mount Ebott ♪
♪ But then was hit by a meteor ♪
- Okay.
♪ A meteor ♪
- Oh my god, I feel like this is only funny
for the people that have played "Undertale." (laughs)
I feel like some of y'all are left out,
like "What's happening here?"
Girl, just laugh, just laugh, just laugh.
It's good, just laugh, just laugh.
Hey, hey, just laugh.
It's okay baby, just laugh.
Smile, you look prettier.
Okay.
♪ Httpsvg15 ♪
- Yeah.
♪ Now I'm surrounded by a group of Antifas ♪
- Oh my god.
♪ I'm homicidal and I've got a taste ♪
♪ Of sperm and lots of blood ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh, oh ♪
♪ This is what hell tastes like ♪
♪ Straight and not gay ♪
- What?
(Machaizelli laughs)
"What hell tastes like, straight and not gay."
Honestly, I mean well according to the religious people,
hell tastes a lot more gay I guess apparently
and I'd rather go to hell than be
around a bunch of straight people in heaven. (grumbles)
♪ Women face discrimination ♪
- Yes they do.
♪ In Overwatch ♪
- Okay, okay.
Different game but
I'll take it, AI.
♪ Screw being a pacifist ♪
♪ This is capitalism ♪
- Oh, yes.
♪ I have erectile dysfunction ♪
- Okay.
Do I wanna see how this ends?
♪ There are huge penises ♪
♪ Everywhere on my Twitter feed ♪
- Same, and I am not complaining.
Yes. (laughs)
You know, it's such a compliment when somebody
with a big dick follows me on social media
because then I feel like I have
the energy that attracts big dicks
and for some weird reason, I feel superior.
Us big dick boys, we stick together, like (laughs).
♪ Bounce ♪
♪ Now he has all the souls ♪
♪ And will sell them to orphans ♪
- Orphans?
♪ Now I'm filled with rage ♪
♪ I'm a furry ♪
- Oh.
♪ I'm homicidal and I've got a taste ♪
♪ Of sperm and lots of blood ♪
♪ This is what hell tastes like ♪
♪ Straight and not gay ♪
Yeah, ha ha!
Wow.
♪ Bounce ♪
- "I povited tested for bovid."
Girl, what?
- Some unfortunate news.
I positive tested for,
I positive tested for CO,
I positive tested for bovid. - What?
- I po, I te, I povited, I povited tested for lo.
I povited. - Oh my god.
Okay.
- I positive tested for poke.
- Okay.
- I pos.
I tested for povid. - Yes.
- I positive tested for- - You're almost there.
You're almost there, you were close.
- I got a new roach.
- You're nearly there. - I tested positive for bovid.
- Yeah.
- I tested positive for COVID. - Okay.
Congrats, you really did that.
You figured it out and I'm so proud of you.
♪ Bounce, bounce ♪
- [Narrator] Dear diary,
today I learned my first curse word.
- What's your first curse word?
- [Narrator] Bitch.
- Okay.
- [Narrator] Dory, diory, dear diary.
- Okay. - Bitch.
- Yes.
- [Narrator] Dear diare,
I just learned that the F-word, it is fuck.
- Okay, y'all seem to be like
letting me live for a little bit.
Thank you, thank you so much.
♪ Titties ♪
- What's this? - With a new.
- Throwing flashbang. (flashbang clanks)
- Oh.
♪ Bounce ♪
- "Say eye, spell map, say ness."
Eye M-A-P ness?
Eye M-A-P ness.
What?
Oh!
(Machaizelli laughs)
I'm leaving, I'm so fuckin' stupid.
I'm so fuckin' stupid.
I'm so stupid.
No, because why am I stupid though?
I mean I've had so many in me,
I might as well be one myself.
You know what I mean? (laughs)
♪ Let me see those titties ♪
- "You need me."
This looks, that looks, that, that, who?
Girl, let's just try it.
- [Disembodied Voice] You need me.
- Ooh, not one of these chase videos.
Is this another chase video?
Oh god, I hate these so much!
I hate these so much!
Stop it!
Ew.
Do I want to continue?
That wasn't what I was thinking
it was gonna be but y'all know what I mean
about those chase videos on TikTok?
Oh no.
Oh
god.
I have to.
That's the reason why it's hurting my feelings
'cause I have to 'cause I saw it.
"Walten Files.
Boozoo's Ghosts."
Jesus Christ, let's see.
39 minutes!
Let's just fuckin' do it, you know, why not?
♪ Bounce ♪
- I'm already scared.
I'm already fucking scared, I'm already scared.
Why did everything get quiet?
Okay.
(Machaizelli screams)
Let's fuckin' do this.
You're the bitch here, you're the fuckin' bitch here.
It's just a video, okay?
Calm the fuck down. (laughs)
You can't scare me, I ain't afraid of no ghost.
I hate that it's so quiet.
(tense trumpet music) (Machaizelli wails)
Okay.
Okay, you got me.
You got me for a brief second.
Celebrate that, celebrate it.
Now get off my fucking page. (laughs)
Who made these?
Martin Walls.
Thank you for the answer.
Glad I figured that out fast.
"Boozoo's Ghosts."
Oh fucking joy.
(tense electronic music) Okay.
Oh my god.
Oh my god, these cut-ins.
What the fuck is that, pens?
Oh no, girl.
Living their life, you know?
Living their- - Hello, children.
Today I'm going to tell you a new story.
- Why did the voice fucking scare me?
(Machaizelli groans)
♪ Bounce ♪
- [Narrator] This is where our story begins.
- Okay, let's start the stor- (creepy piano music ends)
(Machaizelli screams)
Okay, okay.
I hate when the music just cuts like that.
That scares the shit outta me.
(mug shatters) - Oh no.
- [Boozoo] Fanny, you incompetent bunny,
did you break that mug?
- [Fanny] I didn't mean to.
- Don't punish the bunny.
- I can fix it. - She can fix it.
- [Boozoo] I'm gonna have to take this
out of your payment, get back to work.
- So he's cheap.
Let me guess, they're gonna show him being like
a terrible person for the first half of this video
and then the second half of the video,
he's gonna get like haunted and he's gonna like die
and then he's gonna haunt me because I watched the video
and then I'm gonna die like three days later.
That's how "The Ring" works, right?
Is that how that movie works?
Honestly, haunt me, daddy.
Like will haunting make me skinny?
That's the real question.
Will haunting make me skinny?
Like will I be so scared that I'll just like
start shitting constantly, then I'm just like
really skinny after like a month of like a haunt?
Like is haunting the new tapeworm?
Give me that demonic possession, daddy. (laughs)
♪ Bounce ♪
- [Cow] You are a greedy and selfish old man.
- Tell him.
"You are a greedy and selfish old man," period.
- [Boozoo] God, I hate Christmas.
(mysterious rattling) - Who is it?
Go see, go see, go see.
Your door's open, go see.
Go see, the door is open.
- [Boozoo] I should get some sleep.
- I said if they got me, they got me, bitch, you know?
If I'm dead, I'm dead, I can't do anything about it.
(ominous electronic music)
I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.
Did I tell you I hate this?
Where are we going?
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.
(Machaizelli wails)
What is it?
Oh, it's a clown.
The build up, I hate this.
39 minutes, does it really need to be,
did you really have to, Martin?
- [Unknown Voice] Hello.
Come closer. - Don't.
Don't be stupid.
(Machaizelli screams)
(spring boings)
- [Boozoo] Why would you want to show me the past?
- [Clown] Because you've been a bad person.
- What is about to happen?
Oh god, oh my god.
♪ I don't want to hear you lie ♪
(soft eerie chiming music)
♪ You don't want to hear me cry ♪
- Is he breaking out into a song?
Okay.
♪ So let's do each other a favor and accept your regret ♪
- What?
♪ You've been rude and yet you deny ♪
- Okay, Christina Aguilera.
♪ To have been so greedy and selfish your entire life ♪
♪ Your entire life ♪
You know.
- [Boozoo] I'm telling the truth.
(eerie warbling)
- Oh.
Ooh, whoa.
Oh.
Ew.
Oh my god.
- You still haven't gotten the message.
- Girl, speak clearly.
(tense warbling)
(Machaizelli screams)
Okay.
Hello, there's a second ghost.
The Ghost of Present.
What are you gonna traumatize me with?
(distorted crying)
Babies.
Oh, yummy.
Oh god.
Oh, disgusting.
Ew.
It better not move.
It moved, oh.
Oh, Spider-Man?
- [Boozoo] Who are you?
(Ghost of Present cackles)
- Delete that.
- I am the jolly Ghost of Present Past, my friend.
- Okay, country girl.
I like how we're just doing "A Christmas Carol."
Presents...
Present, my bad, oh my god.
♪ Bounce ♪
- [Ghost of Present] Your actions
have already affected them.
Everything will be gone.
- Yep. - As it should.
- Okay.
Is she wearing the Spider-Man suit
underneath this cloth or something, what's happening?
- [Ghost of Present] Oh, you'll see.
- What are we seeing?
(tense trumpet music) (Machaizelli screams)
oh my god, that fuckin' scared me!
Okay, okay, okay.
I hate when it gets quiet, I hate when it gets quiet.
(sharp flute tone)
Ew.
(Machaizelli laughs)
- You remain ignorant. - What?
(tense violin tone)
Ew, ew, ew, ew.
(eerie warbling trumpet music)
(Machaizelli screams)
(distorted, overlapping voices speaking)
- Freak a freak a freak a freak, remix.
Oh, oh, oh.
(warbling cackling)
Ew!
- [Boozoo] I don't want anyone to die.
- I want everyone to die in this, I don't give a shit.
- Your actions are always marked with trauma.
- Oh my god!
Do I wanna finish this is the question,
do I wanna keep on going?
There's about 10 minutes left.
Fuck it, let's go.
Oh, oh, oh.
- Hello, Boozoo.
Hello, Boozoo.
- [Boozoo] Everything's back to normal.
- Oh hey, boss. - Okay.
- [Fanny] Good to see you're okay. (voice distorts, warbles)
- What?
Oh, oh.
Oh.
- What? - Ebenezer Boozoo.
Oh, oh no.
Oh, ew.
- [Boozoo] Make it stop!
- We love this noise. - Please.
- Hello, hi.
(distorted cackling)
(Machaizelli screeches) You got me, congrats.
Okay, can I stop?
- [Ghost of Future] The results of your ignorance
led you to where you are now.
- Okay, I just wanna know how this ends.
I'm wanna see what the ending is.
Oops, time's up, what's that mean?
(Boozoo screams)
Oh, oh.
- [Ghost Of Future] You haven't accepted
your personal failures.
(low, tense music)
- Ew.
- [Narrator] Goodbye and merry Christmas.
- Okay, thank you Martin.
Thank you so much.
♪ Bounce, bounce ♪
- I'm gonna do like one or two more.
I just need palate cleanser.
"The Coconut Song, Da Coconut."
♪ La la la, la la la la ♪
♪ Ya ya ya ♪
- Okay, okay Smokey Mountain, let's go.
♪ Ko ko nut ♪
♪ Ko ko ko ko ko nut ♪
♪ Ko ko nut ♪
♪ Ko ko ko ko nut ♪
- Period.
♪ Ko ko nut ♪
♪ Ko ko ko ko nut ♪
♪ Hey, I pull up in the monster ♪
♪ Is a giant nut ♪
♪ If you eat too much, you'll get very fat ♪
- Oh, okay.
♪ It's the koko fruit ♪
♪ Of the koko tree ♪
♪ From the koko palm family ♪
♪ Ya ya ya ya ya ♪
♪ There are ko ko nut ♪
♪ Ko ko ko ko ko ko nut ♪
♪ Ko ko nut ♪
♪ Ko ko ko ko ko nut, bitch ♪
♪ Kokonut trunk ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Do not throw this junk ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ If you save some of it, you'll have a second floor ♪
- Oh, ooh.
♪ Koko fruit ♪
♪ Doo doo, it's a koko fruit ♪
♪ Of the koko tree ♪
♪ Doo doo ♪
♪ Of the koko tree ♪
♪ From the koko palm family ♪
♪ Ya ya ya ya ya ♪
- Okay, I'm done, I'm done with that.
What did we learn today, kids?
There is so many Walten File videos apparently that are just
like half an hour long just chilling on someone's channel.
That's what we learned.
We also learned the coconut tree
can be used for multiple things.
Will we use it for multiple things?
No, and that's on capitalism, okay?
Shout out to @Addtheidiot and @lex_noller
for retweeting my last video on Twitter.
Comment down below, what is your favorite...
Girl, I don't know, what is your favorite whatever?
I don't give a shit.
Thank you guys so much for watching.
Thank you guys for letting me take my breaks and all
that shit that I've been taking specifically this year.
This year has been quite hard for me to swallow.
I'm excited for my Japan trip.
Excited for the ones that are coming.
But anyways, my name is Mac and don't forget to Like,
comment, share and subscribby!
So long.
♪ Woo ♪