i just got off the phone with a student and they experienced something that i have heard about so
many times and it makes me really crazy and i just was like i'm going to turn on the camera and share
some thoughts about this with my channel because i just don't want this to happen to anyone else
okay so if this is your first time on the channel this is probably not a typical video of mine
why i am passionate about subjects maybe not this worked up so hang in there uh my name is alice
i am a doula a childbirth educator and i help people have positive birth experiences and one
of the things that makes me so crazy that i just witnessed and was part of
is when a doctor dashes the ideas and the birth plan for no reason of a family preparing for birth
this is the scenario okay and also i'm saying doctor sometimes it's a midwife
but usually what i've heard is with the doctor so here's the scenario um family is planning
on having a natural birth desiring to go without intervention desiring to go without getting an
epidural trying not to get pain medication would like to go into labor on their own usually has
done a lot of research and reading about it and you know put in a lot of effort into their idea
and they go to you know one of their appointments um this in this case they weren't as a team
because hospital policy is not allowing partners right now to go to appointments but
they present their birth plan to their provider to their doctor
and mentions that they'd like to avoid an epidural go natural and their doctor just dashes just
basically kills their dreams by saying something like
i see that this is what you want to do but you really need to be open to an epidural because
labor is really hard and you really don't know how much pain it's going to be so if you don't
prepare a lot and you don't have a labor that goes really smoothly you need to be open to an
epidural so you know plan on getting one probably even if you say that you don't because you know
i hate when people are disappointed and they want to go natural and then they aren't able to
and so they're so disappointed so you know if you maybe just plan on getting an epidural and then if
things work out that you aren't don't have to and you're able to go natural then that's great
what why why why why why does this have to go this way i do not understand
and i have heard this so many times i will be working with dual clients who experience this
conversation and you know they have different reactions to it sometimes they get mad
at their provider like how dare they question my preferences it doesn't matter about the
health of the baby whether or not i get an epidural or i want to go natural so there's
anger some but the thing that just kills me is when people start doubting their own preferences
because their care provider is doubting them is not supportive and that's what makes me so mad and
i want to use this analogy that just to me sums it all up okay let's picture that the same couple
this woman is wanting to run a marathon it's her first time maybe she you know she doesn't run
marathons normally she's just a new runner but she has her sights set in nine months
she is going to run a marathon first one and she talks to someone who has
knowledge of running and a marathon and they tell her no you should probably just give up
you're not gonna be able to do it you're gonna have to stop at mile 20 so just don't do it
i mean does that ever happen no very rarely right when so many people
uh do things that require physical endurance require training require a mindset mental stamina
whether they are doing long hikes whether they're doing um running endurance running um
i had a client that was a kayaker that physically endurance you know any type of
activity that requires um pushing past difficult challenges being mentally prepared uh people don't
usually dash their hopes like yeah why would you do that and it makes me crazy when people dash
the hopes of someone wanting to go natural now it's a different thing if you give them
some information like say you're the doctor and someone says they want to go natural and you say
you know it's really hard what i've seen is that if you take a childbirth class and you get a doula
you are more likely to go natural or let's make sure you try to labor at home because laboring at
home can really increase the likelihood of going natural that i love i'll take that all day long
but just to immediately say there someone is stupid and why would they do it and it's too
hard they don't know anything really about you i mean they know about your health history but
do they know about the hike that you did years ago do they know about the hike that you did that was
super hard but you pushed through and you made it to the summit i mean it makes me crazy
so here's the deal if you desire going natural great that is your preference
and you have every right to that and if you don't great you have every right to
that too that's what's so awesome about birth these days is that you really have options and
you can choose either of those and they're both safe for the baby you're it's really more about
what your choice is and if you choose that you want to go natural and somewhere along the way
you get a wild card or something comes up you get a really long labor it's not what you're expecting
if you are an hour into your birth or you are 30 hours into your labor and birth and you say i've
changed my mind i want an epidural that's okay too all of this is okay and i want to i would love for
people to stop judging people's ideas about birth so the other thing is if you're someone who's
curious about going natural and you're kind of on the fence but you don't have anyone supporting you
maybe you don't know anyone who has gone without an epidural maybe all of your friends have had
epidurals maybe your family has and now you have a doctor that suggests one but it doesn't
sound right to you listen to that listen to that thought um you know put a comment in the comment
below and let me know where you are in your thinking um there are people that can support
doulas childbirth educators um youtube channels that can support your ideas and your thoughts and
help you set yourself up for the biggest success but if you find yourself in the position like i am
ranting about right now where you have expressed a desire for a birth and you have felt
like if you're not getting the support from your care provider they have just dashed your ideas or
just not been supportive of them i don't know you might want to change care providers not kidding or
talk to the other ones in your practice and see is everybody on the same page here because not all
care providers are the same and it might be that if you just change practices to someone at the
same hospital but maybe it's someone else they're going to be your cheerleader and not the one
telling you that you're stupid not kidding so talk about that think about that um i would love to
answer any questions that you have on this topic i try to answer every comment that i get so put a
comment below um do not be afraid to have your own strong opinions about labor and your preferences
and don't let anybody whether it's your doctor or family and friends um talk you out of an idea that
you have or preference that you had um no no more they can just zip it zip it okay okay thanks for
joining me talk to you next time guys bye maybe i won't rant as much next time but i might we'll see