[Ensemble]: RWBY Chibi!
[Neptune]: Junior Detectives!
[Sun]: Hey man! How's it going?
[Jaune]: Oh, uh hey man, uh, you're talking to me.
Never thought I'd see the day.
Uh, good, I'm good, great actually, uh, I'm okay.
How uh... how're things with you?
[Neptune slams the cup out of Jaune's hands] Ah!! Hey!
[Officer Abs]: LITTERIIIING!!!!!
[Jaune]: What?! Officer! No! I was framed!
[Officer Abs]: Likely story!
[Neptune]: And right next to a trash can? Do you have no heart?
[Jaune]: No! I'm a good person! I swear! Look! I have a library card!
[Officer Abs]: Woah! Look out!
[Neptune]: We're going into lockdown!
Neptune (Offscreen): Ow! Ow! Ow! My goggles!
[Officer Mustache Down]
[Officer Abs]: Oh, now you've done it!
[Jaune]: Why don't I learn?!
[Ozpin]: And now, Team RWBY presents an original stage play entitled "Little Red Riding Hood".
[Ozpin]: Once upon a time, there was an adorable girl who went by the name of Little Red Riding Hood.
[Ruby]: What is good in the hood?
[Ozpin]: Loved by many and known for her colorful hood,
Little Red was on a very important mission: to deliver baked goods to her dear sweet grandmother.
[Ruby]: Yeah, we tried to put her in a home but she wasn't having it. Sooo... gotta go feed her.
[Yang]: Hey Red! Make sure to bring Grandma some produce this time!
These old legs can't run on chocolate chips alone!
[Ruby]: Yang! This isn't your scene!
[Yang]: And these aren't even real glasses!
Heyo!
*Audience chuckling*
[Ruby]: Ech, amateurs.
[Ozpin]: But as she frolicked through the woods to her grandmother's cottage she came across a creature who had more.. sinister intentions.
[Ozpin]: A big bad wolf!
[Blake]: Okay... why am I the wolf?
And why am I flying?
[Ruby]: Duh, because you're half animal, this part was made for you!
[Blake]: What about Zwei?!
[Ruby]: Zwei? He's the stage-hand!
Plus, the wolf's a bad guy, and you can't be mad at that face!
*Zwei barks*
*THUD!*
[BIake]: *muffled* I can be mad at that face.
[Ozpin]: The big bad wolf wanted to gobble up Little Red and her treats, but she had made one terrible mistake..
[Ozpin]: Little Red Riding Hood was a trained warrior with a deadly mechanical scythe!
[Ruby]: It's also a gun!
[Blake]: It's that a prop or...
[Ruby]: Step off, wolfy! *cocks Crescent Rose*
[Ozpin]: And so, the big bad wolf decided to retreat.
[Blake]: Heh heh... uh... right.
[Ozpin]: But the wolf wasn't going to give up that easily. She had a plan.
[Ruby]: Scene change!
[Ozpin]: She took a shortcut to Little Red's Grandmother's house. Where she found the old woman sleeping soundly in her bed.
[Blake]: Um...
[Ruby (Offscreen)]: Yang!
[Yang]: Did somebody say Grandma?
[Blake]: You're looking good for your age.
[Yang]: I work out!
[Blake]: Uh, aren't you supposed to be in bed?
[Yang]: Who's got time for sleep when I've prepared this great song and dance number?
And'a one, and'a two--
[Ruby]: Stop upstaging everyone and get in the bed!
[Yang]: This is my one scene! Get off my back!
[Blake]: Just get in bed Grandma.
[Yang]: Easy there wolfy, you haven't even bought me dinner yet!
*Audience laughing* [Yang]: Heyo!
[Ruby]: Ugggh... [Blake]: Okay, I'm just gonna move this along and eat her.
[Ozpin]: And just like that-
[Ozpin]: The big bad wolf gobbled the grandmother up!
[Blake]: There. Now you're dead.
[Yang]: Oh! Woe is me! I was too young to die!
Despite what many thought, seeing as I was a grandmother!
*Yang squeaks like a toy as she's kicked and groans as she crash-lands*
[Ozpin]: The wolf disguised herself as Little Red's grandmother and laid in bed, waiting to ambush the unsuspecting child.
[Ruby]: Hi Grandma! Thanks for the birthday cards! Dad told me to bring you food!
[Ozpin]: Now... the wolf needed only to draw Little Red closer.
[Blake]: Hey, come closer.
[Ozpin]: But as the young girl drew near, she noticed something was wrong.
[Ruby]: Gee grandma, what big eyes you have!
[Blake]: Wow, what an insensitive thing to say to your loved ones.
[Ruby]: And what big ears you have!
[Blake]: You know I'm really self-conscious about them, thanks for bringing it up.
[Ruby]: And Grandma, what big teeth you have!
[Blake]: Okay, you're just a rude little brat, I'm gonna kill you.
[Ruby]: Ahhh! [Blake]: Rawr!
[Yang]: Woah! Smells like someone's got some big, bad, BREATH!
[Ruby]: Yang! This is a sad scene!
[Ruby]: The audience can't be sad if they're laughing!
[Ozpin]: Um..... then the.... Woodsman... entered...?
[Weiss]: Why do I have to be the Woodsman again?
And why does this weapon have two axe-blades? You can't even aim!
[Port (off-screen)]: Ho-ho! Personal preference!
[Ruby]: Because we're best friends, and best friends have each others' backs!
[Blake]: But wait, I thought Red Riding Hood had a scythe, why does she need a Woodsman?
[Ruby]: You guys are ruining my vision!
[Weiss]: Who wrote this stupid story anyway?
[Ruby]: I did! Thank you very much!
[Yang]: Ugh, no wonder.
Red Riding Hood's a total Mary Sue character.
[Ruby]: What?!
[Yang]: "Loved by many and known for her hood?"
You totally based her off yourself.
*Ruby getting extremely aggravated*
[Ruby]: I like to think that art is open to interpretation.
[Ozpin]: Wait a minute... aren't you kids all supposed to be in class?
[Ruby]: CHEESE IT!!
[Zwei]: Woof!
♪This is the way we wanna spend everyday♪
♪Laughing with our friends and keeping sadness away♪ [Ruby]: Click here if you wanna wear some stuff with us on it!
♪Join us and see we can be happy and free♪ [Ruby]: And click here if you wanna watch some stuff with us on it!
♪ Life if full of fun 'cause we're all chibi!♪ [Ruby] Cuz, ya know, more us! Duh!
[Ruby] We're awesome!