Poptropica sounds like some kind of dessert treat.
Like a mango popsicle.
Turns out it’s a mobile game.
And now, it’s a mobile game ported to the Nintendo 3DS.
Personally, I’d rather have the popsicle.
So maybe you’ve played Poptropica: Forgotten Islands on the iPhone.
If that’s the case, I’m willing to bet it’s not your iPhone.
It’s probably your mom’s iPhone.
Either that or you stole an iPhone.
You little delinquent.
Which is fitting, ‘cause this is a game for little delinquents.
It’s clearly designed for players that are…more young.
And more lenient with their definition of “fun.”
Not that stealing iPhones isn’t fun, but…I mean, even a broken clock is right twice a
day, you know?
Don’t give the kids too much credit here.
By the way, don’t steal crap, kids.
Hey, speaking of which, this is a game about stealing crap.
You play as…some guy.
And you travel around these islands doing what you refer to…as “adventuring.”
What you really end up doing is inciting riots against a band of pirates; taking supplies
from a village desperate for supplies; stealing ancient artifacts from ancient indigenous
peoples.
Like I said, a game for little delinquents.
Although somehow, it’s also a game for the kind of heart.
Because you spend half your time running errands for people, and finding their crap.
Boy, aren’t you just a moral conundrum?
You’re like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.
“Snow Cold” Steve Austin.
Anyway, there’s not much to the gameplay at all, so the coolest thing about this game…is
definitely the unlockable stuff.
As you collect more coins, you can buy more stuff to dress up your character.
And there’s actually some pretty awesome stuff to choose from.
You have a bunch of themes, but you can actually mix and match items from each one.
So you can wear the clown nose with the astronaut gear, or put on a vampire cape while carrying
a candy cane…whatever you want to do, as long as you have the cash to do it.
Which is also a good life lesson for the kids.
If they have to learn it from Poptropica, so be it.
I learned it from Ted DiBiase.
So customizing your character is fun.
It’d be really fun if it gave you different abilities, based on what you were wearing.
Then you’d have incentive to buy all that crap, and try it all out.
But then again, it’s Poptropica, let’s be realistic here.
It’s a side-scrolling collection of side-scrolling fetch quests, which is boring enough to have
you on your side…taking a nap.
You’ve heard of simulators?
This is a nap…stimulator.
But it’s also a game for little kids.
And for what it is, it’s not bad.
Not good, but…like I said, let’s be realistic here.
It plays alright…and this version at least has the advantage of a d-pad.
And for a game with this much walking and platforming and exploring…man, to have to
do this on a touch screen would be a pain in the ass.
So for playability, I have to think this version’s a big improvement.
And it’s also got some additional content, with more than 100 unlockable items and some
new minigames, too.
The drawback, though…is that it hasn’t gotten any aesthetic improvements.
So the graphics, the sound…it’s pretty much identical to what you’d see on the
iPhone.
By the way, it only costs three dollars on the iPhone.
It costs 30 dollars, that’s ten times as much, on the Nintendo 3DS.
So I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect a product that at least looks better,
if it’s ten times the price.
Poptropica’s kind of a weird game in that…it makes a great iPhone game, and there have
been improvements for the 3DS game…and yet, it’s not a great 3DS game.
It’s a game that’s a bit too simple to be engaging for anyone other than little kids,
falling on the wrong side of that fine line between “accessible” and “boring.”
Poptropica’s…just kind of boring.
It’s not a bad game, but only for young players.
Who may or may not have a criminal record.
It’s Poptropica: Forgotten Islands.
The little vagrants.